The most important question to ask a doctor.

[missmollie, ADN, BSN, RN]

I was just talking with my husband about my health, our son, and him. I stated that if I were in an accident, he was to ask the doctors exactly this: What is the chance of my wife being a productive member of society. He was absolutely not to use the terms "better" "improved" or "stable".

I want him to make a decision on how far to go based on whether I will someday be productive.

I feel that the family of a patient will ask the right question, just wrongly worded. Words such as better or stable just describe a condition, but often the family feel that those words describe the patient at their previous state, prior to injury.

If you could tell your loved ones the most important question to ask a doctor, what would that question be?

[Sour Lemon]

I've never thought about it. I always tell my husband ...if there's any doubt about my quality of life, at all, let me die.

[NightNerd, MSN, RN]

I think it's most important to define quality of life, at least for me, and let the decision be made from there. For my part, not being to somehow have independent movement, read and understand a book, or communicate with my loved ones would be it for me. I definitely agree that the words "get better" or "make it" are not adequate for the magnitude of such decisions. I don't understand why these conversations aren't more commonplace.

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

If the doctors ask you for a decision about pulling my plug, it's already past the time that I would want it done.

[Mia415]

I would ask if I will be able to communicate... To the the scariest thing is being awake and conscious but not to have some sort of speech.

[KatieMI, BSN, MSN, RN]

I would ask if I will be able to communicate... To the the scariest thing is being awake and conscious but not to have some sort of speech.

I once cared for a patient with "locked-in syndrome". He was totally paralyzed, on tubefeeding. Everything he could move was his eyes and he communucated by opening them for "yes" and closing for "no". Family was incredibly proud of that they insisted on full code and that he survived.

Then, one beautiful day, he got a device which could record his eyes' moves over special screen and make them in readable letters. Roughly speaking, the guy was looking at letters to make words out of them, after what the whole sentence could be read. That was after a couple of years of silence for him.

The very first sentence the poor soul thus made was: let me die. He was then evaluated by several psychiatrists and found to be oriented x 4 and able to make his own medical decisions. His tube was clamped and he died in a few days despite of loud protests of his "loving" family.