The math doesn't add up - page 8

I'm a math person, so it really bothers me when my manager asks us to do an additional task or duty without subtracting a current task or duty. The math doesn't add up. Our current duties take up... Read More

  1. Visit  PeepnBiscuitsRN profile page
    6
    Dear Suburban Couple,
    Thank you for choosing our hosp-...oh wait, that's right...you didn't choose it, your insurance dictated it... well, anyways, thanks for graicing us with your prescence here in the birth center. We know it wasn't an easy thing, having to come to an inner city hospital with all the dirty people. I remember you telling everyone who would listen- even the dirty people. And as your indispensible, ever-cheerful overnight nurse, I want to say that I just LOVED waking you up so I could press on your belly and look at your hoohah to make sure you were not bleeding all the heck over the place, and to make sure that your baby wasn't choking to death on its own vomit like it was on evenings, and especially to make sure you weren't in agonizing pain from your stat section that I'm SURE was our fault (see, we psychically told your baby to wrap his umblilical cord around his neck a few times and make sure it was good and snug). I also want to heartily thank you for allowing me to help you learn to breastfeed your baby and listen to you whine-er, um, verbalize your opinion that you're sure the baby will wake up on his own to eat if he's hungry. You know, I acutally eagerly took on a night position because it brings me such joy to wake new mothers with wedding rings the size of my front tooth (by the way, I hope you downsized that little sparkler because, well, babies with huge gouges down the side of their face are so unsightly).

    I hope this card finds you, your well-put-together husband, your mother and her alarmingly fine clothing and your wedding ring doing well.

    Your ever-cheerful RN going on 2 hours of sleep.

    P.S. I hope next time I can meet your doula who acted as an expert advocate and educator extrodinare on nuchal cords and decels (I'm sure she was one smart cookie)
    GrnTea, Aurora77, lemur00, and 3 others like this.
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  3. Visit  jrwest profile page
    1
    Quote from Altra
    "Dear Patient A:

    I'm so very glad that we got a chance to know each other after you fell down 6 stairs and broke your femur. I hope that you can recall your excellent stay at Most Awesome Hospital with fondness ... the surgery, the pain, the joy of personal hygiene with immobility. Please visit us again at your earliest convenience.."

    "Dear Patient B:

    How thoughtful of you to make your hospital stay so memorable for nurses, physicians, ancillary staff, other patients and visitors, and everyone who came within 20 feet of you. Your colorful descriptions of your planned actions if you didn't get pain meds "on time" were so entertaining! And the Oscar-worthy performance when your out-of-town children arrived ... brilliant! We look forward to your repeat performance of Noncompliance: The Trilogy in the near future."

    If y'all need more ideas I can keep writing ...
    omg im going to you- know- where- for this, but that just made me laugh out loud!!
    tokmom likes this.
  4. Visit  jrwest profile page
    0
    Quote from MJB2010
    I REFUSE to answer my phone on the potty, the hucs yell at me all the time about it. But seriouslly, I am lucky if I get to pee 2 times on a shift and those 2 minutes are mine.
    I'd LOVE to answer the phone while doing business" I sound like im in a bathroom?? pffffftttttt. Why yes , you are correct! hold a moment while I flush......
  5. Visit  Jenni811 profile page
    1
    A thank you card?? Yea...if i were a patient i'd be a little wierded out.

    our hospital literally took away our care plans. As long as we type up our individualized care plans, which night shifts is responsible for, we do not need to chart on them. Managment said this is because if we are doing our charting in their flowsheets then we are charting on the care plans already. Like if their care plan is about skin cares, as long as we chart what we did related to skin on our shift then there is no need to chart on the care plans. We just need to make sure SOMETHING is in there but don't chart on them. If any of that makes sense?
    basically managment said there is no point to charting on the care plans because it is double charting and just creates unncessary work for us.
    SandraCVRN likes this.
  6. Visit  VICEDRN profile page
    1
    Quote from 0402
    Just last night, a pt asked one of the nurses for one of our "star" cards so that she could write one for the nurse "with the dark hair that's in a bob," which is me. I had had the pt the previous 2 nights, and the pt mentioned my name when the charge nurse rounded at the beginning of the shift. However, by the time she asked for the card and wrote on it, the name on the card was "Nika." Nika is not my name, and in fact, only the 'a' is even in my 5 letter, fairly simple, fairly common first name. The charge nurse did clarify that she was actually talking about me. For the rest of the shift, I was referred to as "Nika" by my co-workers. I guess I should be happy that I'm not being disciplined for her not remembering my name. =)
    The wonderful irony, Nika? I am also "with the dark hair that's in a bob". A cute one too. Just sayin'.

    You stealing my thunder now? Ha Ha.

    My name is also fairly common though not as common as Amy or Sarah and easy to remember.
    0402 likes this.
  7. Visit  monkeybug profile page
    0
    Quote from wooh
    Whinier than this?


    Spend more than four months as a nurse, then talk to me about "handling the work." You know, once you're not only doing your own work, but keeping your new grad coworkers from killing someone. AND signing stupid cards.

    And after you've had some little thing added weekly for more than a few months, tell me how little time it takes all together.
  8. Visit  monkeybug profile page
    0
    Quote from tokmom
    You could always write the thank you notes in whilst sitting on the potty. I'm surprised management hasn't tapped into that.
    Sitting on the potty? Who in the heck gets to do that at work? I rarely did when I worked in a hospital!
  9. Visit  monkeybug profile page
    3
    I recently ran in outpatient lab the other day for some quick blood work. I signed in, waited a few minutes, was called back to the registrar who took a couple of minutes to get me in the computer, and from there I was called to a cubicle where the phlebotomist commented on my scars in my antecubital (the result of years of infertility lab draws) and my "crunchy" veins before getting the blood with one stick. It was maybe an 8 minute process. As I was leaving the cubicle, the phlebotomist whipped out a card, pointed out the 3 signatures, "A signed you in, B took your information, and this is me, C. You'll be getting a survey in the mail in a few days, so let us know how we're doing!" You are doing great, but I find it weird as heck that the card followed me through the process like a deranged little 3 X 5 stalker.
    noyesno, Rose_Queen, and applewhitern like this.
  10. Visit  RNperdiem profile page
    4
    Related to another popular thread on this board: if there is a corner to be cut, poorly thought out thank-you notes will be the first thing cut!
    SandraCVRN, noyesno, Aurora77, and 1 other like this.
  11. Visit  monkeybug profile page
    11
    Thank you, dear patient, for coming to us when you were in labor. Thank you further for choosing the local medical school to provide your obstetrical care rather than the group of private physicians that were also available, and then screaming the entire labor about "all those mofos in my business and in my dookie!" You could have chosen ONE doctor instead of a herd of doctors, but then what would you have had to complain about? By the way, what exactly is a dookie? Is that the same thing as a monkey or a pocketbook or a cat? Thank you, also, for your excessive lack of personal hygiene prior to your scheduled induction. Bathing probably takes too much time away from texting, tweeting, and threatening the putative father with child support. I just adore the smell of tuna left out in the August sun! Thank you for bringing your 8 visitors with you despite the sign and my polite reminders about only 3 visitors in the room at any one time. So sorry I couldn't provide a pallet on the floor as requested by that one particularly charming fellow. The verbal abuse I caught when I refused to part with 3 blankets so he could stretch out on the floor certainly broadened my horizons when it comes to profanity! My, but he is a poetic fellow. Thank you also for bringing your drama. I haven't gotten to see Jerry Springer all week because I'm employed, but this certainly filled in the gaps! To hear that you didn't discover you'd procreated with your second cousin until after it was "too late to do sumpin about it" really made my day. I'm an old fashioned girl, and always liked to know the last name of the person I was intimate with, thus sparing me those pesky incestuous situations, but I certainly see the excitement of doing it your way. And I was truly inspired with your mothering when you handed the baby back to me and told me you'd hold him after we cleaned him up, because he was "nasty." Yes, he probably was considering the entrance you provided him to the world. Thanks for refusing that tubal ligation, too, because we certainly hope to see you back here next year!"

    Yeah, I can see why I wasn't asked to design the cards for our unit.

    In all seriousness, I have sincerely thanked a few patients for letting me take part in their miracle, but not because I was forced to do it to satisfy Mr. Press and Mr. Ganey (I'm sure many nurses would like to meet these two alone in a dark alley some day). It totally loses all meaning if everyone gets a card. Honestly, I wasn't thankful for some of our patients, except maybe being thankful when they headed out the door.
    DizzyLizzyNurse, SandraCVRN, GrnTea, and 8 others like this.
  12. Visit  RNsRWe profile page
    5
    Quote from 0402
    Just last night, a pt asked one of the nurses for one of our "star" cards so that she could write one for the nurse "with the dark hair that's in a bob," which is me. I had had the pt the previous 2 nights, and the pt mentioned my name when the charge nurse rounded at the beginning of the shift. However, by the time she asked for the card and wrote on it, the name on the card was "Nika." Nika is not my name, and in fact, only the 'a' is even in my 5 letter, fairly simple, fairly common first name. The charge nurse did clarify that she was actually talking about me. For the rest of the shift, I was referred to as "Nika" by my co-workers. I guess I should be happy that I'm not being disciplined for her not remembering my name. =)
    Heck, at least she remembered you!

    I used to work 7p-7a hospital shifts. This only happened a few times, but IMHO it was a few times too many: Assigned to Patient X at 7pm. Go to see Patient X, introduce myself, do the once-over assessment, see if there's anything needed (meds, etc) and then move on. See same patient at 9pm for meds. Inform Patient X that no, he could NOT have a sandwich, as he was NPO. See same patient at 11pm in case there's anything needed before shift-change report. Go to see same patient at 2am, when he's awake and wanting something....and what he wants is to tell me that the "evening nurse" told him he could have a sandwich if he woke up during the night! "umm, no, that was ME, and I never said you could have a sandwich". Ok. Fast-forward to 6am, doing assessments and meds on same patient, who then COMPLAINS to me that "the night nurse" was mean to him and wouldn't give him a sandwich!! Argh.....STILL me, jaggoff......nice to made an impression!
  13. Visit  metal_m0nk profile page
    0
    Quote from monkeybug
    Thank you, dear patient, for coming to us when you were in labor. Thank you further for choosing the local medical school to provide your obstetrical care rather than the group of private physicians that were also available, and then screaming the entire labor about "all those mofos in my business and in my dookie!" You could have chosen ONE doctor instead of a herd of doctors, but then what would you have had to complain about? By the way, what exactly is a dookie? Is that the same thing as a monkey or a pocketbook or a cat? Thank you, also, for your excessive lack of personal hygiene prior to your scheduled induction. Bathing probably takes too much time away from texting, tweeting, and threatening the putative father with child support. I just adore the smell of tuna left out in the August sun! Thank you for bringing your 8 visitors with you despite the sign and my polite reminders about only 3 visitors in the room at any one time. So sorry I couldn't provide a pallet on the floor as requested by that one particularly charming fellow. The verbal abuse I caught when I refused to part with 3 blankets so he could stretch out on the floor certainly broadened my horizons when it comes to profanity! My, but he is a poetic fellow. Thank you also for bringing your drama. I haven't gotten to see Jerry Springer all week because I'm employed, but this certainly filled in the gaps! To hear that you didn't discover you'd procreated with your second cousin until after it was "too late to do sumpin about it" really made my day. I'm an old fashioned girl, and always liked to know the last name of the person I was intimate with, thus sparing me those pesky incestuous situations, but I certainly see the excitement of doing it your way. And I was truly inspired with your mothering when you handed the baby back to me and told me you'd hold him after we cleaned him up, because he was "nasty." Yes, he probably was considering the entrance you provided him to the world. Thanks for refusing that tubal ligation, too, because we certainly hope to see you back here next year!"

    Yeah, I can see why I wasn't asked to design the cards for our unit.

    In all seriousness, I have sincerely thanked a few patients for letting me take part in their miracle, but not because I was forced to do it to satisfy Mr. Press and Mr. Ganey (I'm sure many nurses would like to meet these two alone in a dark alley some day). It totally loses all meaning if everyone gets a card. Honestly, I wasn't thankful for some of our patients, except maybe being thankful when they headed out the door.
    Yeeaaaaah, this sounds a little more *personal* than just your run of the mill obnoxious patient annoyance...
  14. Visit  KeepItRealRN profile page
    0
    All I can say to this is A - fricken' Men!

    Quote from BostonTerrierLoverRN
    To me it just screams: Please Don't Sue Us, or Talk Negatively about Your Stay...

    What's really SICK is the dissection of this idea.

    That society trusts the nurse- not the Corporation.

    They are writing the card through your respect, your NAME, and your reputation that you earned by your sweat, your earned trust, your sacrificed back, sore muscles, and sometimes even your tears,...all because:

    They've damaged their reputations as uncaring profit driven, procedure delaying, unethical deciding, money grubbing, chess playing, jet-setting, mafia like, god complexic, and irresponsible brats. They can't even pretend to be "human" anymore.

    This is mind blowing obvious- they can't write the cards because they know it will be laughed at- and they'll probably send it with their bill which they know would be hypocritical.

    The patients know the hospital makes their money by diagnosis, and gets them discharged ASAP ready or not!

    "...So we'll mask the monster we are by the precious, caring, and trusted name of our Nurses!"

    It's all about Preventive Damage Control- NOT GRATITUDE!!! Do you think their trying to promote our name,... Or theirs? Don't tarnish my name- it's mine! You are renting my knowledge and service- you have no right to my name.

    I'm NOT a Marketing Agent, a Damage Control Agent, or a Rented Reputation- I am a Nurse(who can decide all by myself where to sign my John Henry!).


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