Terminating employment - advice needed!

[CaffeinePOQ4HPRN, BSN, MSN, LPN, RN]

What reasons have you given an employer for terminating your employment to ensure you leave on the best of terms? What if you have given an employer notice which ensures you can leave on good terms but they refuse to accept it? Also, what is the best response to give an employer who refuses to accept your reason for leaving, and keeps pressuring you to expand on your reason?

My (soon to be old) employer is refusing to accept my polite and rational reason for leaving my current position. In my letter, I was very gracious and thanked them for the opportunity/experience, and explained that I would be moving onto a new opportunity, identified my last day of work, offered my assistance with the transition, etc... But my employer is refusing to respect/accept this and has even called me at home on my day off work and left a voicemail message demanding more insight, etc...

All and any advice welcomed! Thank you in advance :)

[llg, PhD, RN]

I would probably be polite but firm and say something like ... "I explained my reasons in my resignation letter and don't know what else to say," and then be quiet.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

Reasons I have provided for separating from former employers include...

1. I have decided to pursue other opportunities.

2. I have decided to return to school full-time.

3. I have decided to substantially reduce my commute time.

I always attempt to leave on a positive note and avoid insulting my soon-to-be former employer on my way out of the organization. If the soon-to-be former employer digs for more information, I would have to implement strong boundaries and refuse to provide any additional information that may be unflattering to them.

This situation is slightly similar to a rejected guy who keeps asking a woman, "Why won't you date me?" She doesn't want to be brutally honest and say, "I think you're (...boring, rude, smelly, clingy, creepy... insert unfavorable descriptor)." If one party keeps pressing for a reason other than the one that was provided, it is time to erect those boundaries and tactfully end the interaction.

[AliNajaCat]

Never apologize. Women say, "I'm sorry" dozen of times a day for no good reason. If you find yourself about to say, "I'm sorry, but I already said..." leave off on the apology part and go right to the fact.

[ChrisMarie09]

When I left a bad situation a year ago (I left at the beginning of a mass exudous), I simply told my manager that I was pursuing an opportunity to aligned better with my goals as a nurse.

[CaffeinePOQ4HPRN, BSN, MSN, LPN, RN]

Thanks to everyone for all the great input. My employer just called the office and demanded again that I give her an explanation. When I politely expressed that I had already explained my reasoning and reiterated my reasoning my employer stated that I am being "inconsiderate and disrespectful to me as your employer" because I gave two weeks notice as per my contract and she wants to use me for longer to prepare for a replacement. She asked me to stay on "an extra couple of weeks"... So, if I gave her what she's asking I'd be stuck here an extra month. No thank you! I couldn't be more relieved to be out of this place soon. Reminder, this is a non-nursing position in which the same employer had previously requested repeatedly for me to come to their house and take care of their daughter for free after their daughter had elective cosmetic surgery. With respect to this, I contacted my nursing association and college and of course refused as A) I am not hired as a nurse B) it is unethical and unprofessional.

I can't believe the nightmare I'll soon be escaping. i understand now why some former employees left without giving notice. Thank you all for your advice and supportive words.

[CaffeinePOQ4HPRN, BSN, MSN, LPN, RN]

The situation is similar to a rejected guy who keeps asking a woman, "Why won't you date me?" She doesn't want to be brutally honest and say, "I think you're (...boring, rude, smelly, clingy, creepy... insert unfavorable descriptor)." If one party keeps pressing for a reason other than the one that was provided, it is time to erect those boundaries and tactfully end the interaction.

This is seriously true!!! It made me feel like I was breaking up with an emotionally unstable ex-boyfriend. The phone call was not professional to say the least. I'm proud that I maintained tact and dignity in my response, and didn't stoop to my employer's level.

[xoemmylouox, ASN, RN]

I would just block their number on my days off until your last day is over. Then for good. I have had to block my boss from making contact with me on my days off as well. Otherwise I am harassed with nonsense crap on my days off. It sounds like you made the right choice. Good luck with your new position.