She - A Sexual Assault Story - page 5
Sexual assault is never prejudiced. Sexual assault can happen to anyone regardless of color or creed. Sexual assault can even happen to nurses even though we think we are immune. I have had the extreme honor of sharing this piece... Read More
- 1Jul 9, '08 by chisgirlI was 20 and I thought I was invincible. It was the middle of the day on a gorgeous Saturday in the early fall. I waited by the bus stop when a gang of bikers decided I was "it". My recollections, 30 plus years ly ater, are of being assaulted and thrown over the back of a bike... tied down for my own "safety"... now there's irony. After finding a secluded part of a public park, where each and every one had their turn with me, I was left with only shreds of clothing. My purse and its contents where strewn and picked through. By the way... I was several hundred miles from home. With the grace of God and help from strangers.... I made it back home and learned that while I was victimized.... I was not a victim. I got pregnant from that incident but lost the baby. I was NOT sad that I miscarried. I learned to watch out for myself... I learned that I was stronger than I had previously thought.... and I learned that I could... and DID.... live... on MY terms. I've relived the nightmare once and a while, but I have a terrific husband who knows what happened and he holds me when I have a flashback. We've taught our children about safety... without giving them any of the details of "Mommy's" previous encounter. I guess what I want to point out is that... there IS life after rape.... stand up and say... never again.... become strong.... teach your children to be safe and don't be ashamed for what happened.... YOU DID NOTHING WRONG....you were/are not to blame. Hold your head up high and do not be victimized... or the bastards will win. It's a game to them... a game of power.... don't give it to them. I'll say a prayer for you and for the countless... (read... too many) who face this stigma. It's NOT YOUR FAULT!!!! DO NOT ACCEPT ANY BLAME... HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH.
- 0Sep 13, '10 by BILLIE39want to play devils advocate but chisgirl can i assume the day you were attacked that u were not dressed in a provocative manner. i know its awful but society still doesnt take rape seriously. we still want to blame the victim in some way or another its not right - why do we still do it?
i have read the stories on here and felt sympathy but just wanted to give the other side of the viewpoint that some may have. i for one think rape is wrong and the perpeptrator should be punished
- 0Nov 8, '10 by diane227You never fully recover from sexual assault or sexual abuse I think. You carry those memories with you forever, no matter how much therapy you have or how much support. When I was an ER nurse I observed both male and female survivors. As women, most of us think about the reality of sexual assault and the fact that we could become a victim. But men never even think of this as something that might happen to them. I can recall several male survivors that I cared for who were so shocked that they could become a victim of such a crime. "That only happens to women" what what they would tell me.
One of the best books I ever read was a book by Gavin De Becker called "The Gift of Fear". Your story reminded me of it. How he describes the discomfort that we feel in situations sometimes but we don't follow our gut instinct. We have that little voice telling us that something is wrong but we go against what our gut tells us because we don't want to sound rude or because we, for what ever reason, have no other choice but to stay where we are and go along.
After all those years in the ED, seeing so much violence and the results of how humans can harm other humans, I am a very distrustful person. I try to always be aware and I am overly cautious.... almost to the point sometimes where I feel that I am getting paranoid. But if we don't protect ourselves, who will?
- 0Jun 27, '13 by xoemmylouoxAs a survivor I admire your sharing. I too did not report my incident. I didn't tell a soul for 2 years. I was only in my early teens. Sexual assault occurs to often. Victims are often made to feel guilty and their lives are put on trial while the creep often gets away with next to no punishment.