PsychRN03's guide to better patient satisfaction

  1. I was going to post this under another thread talking about improving patient satisfaction, but figured that although I'd be answering the question, it wouldn't be answering it appropriately (or realistically, rather) and I didn't want to hijack the thread, so here's my own thread...

    My universal guide to improving patient satisfaction

    1...stop trying to satisfy patients (and their families) and start trying to improve outcomes; dead patients don't fill out surveys and surviving family members don't tend to give good reports on hospitals where their loved ones' die, regardless of how many snacks we give them out of the patient food supply, or extra trays we order from dietary

    2...blindfold all malpractice lawyers and have them take a long wall off a short pier

    3...perform a rectal cephalectomy on all the geniuses working at JOKO

    4...perform public floggings on all midlevel managers who make asinine statements (e.g., to a nurse who has been practicing for all of 10 months) that taking 6 patients on an IMU is easy because all you are doing is passing meds

    5...publicly humiliate all micromanaging unit directors who believe it's ok for an ER nurse to have 5 patients, 3 of which are ICU patients while establishing a quota for the number of patients you must see on your shift

    6...lock administrators in their little offices with little more than a pen to sign paychecks and a computer to send emails to their administrative buddies bragging about how much money they can fleece out of their hospital by doing so very little real work

    then, with the technicalities out of the way we can work together to provide the health care our patients deserve

    what'd I miss?
  2. Visit PMHNP10 profile page

    About PMHNP10, ADN, BSN, MSN, NP

    Joined: Oct '03; Posts: 1,140; Likes: 469
    Psych NP; from US
    Specialty: 6 year(s) of experience


  3. by   lpnflorida
    7. For every paper pushing person out there trying to justify their jobs by giving me more paper work, get over it. Unless you laid your hands on a patient in the past 24 hours doing their care. Do not give me another piece of paper, and I promise I won't lay the bedpan full of on your desk to clean up.
  4. by   VICEDRN
    Low nurse to patient ratio?

    (Is that too obvious?)
  5. by   SuesquatchRN
    Quote from rn2tobeatlanta
    Low nurse to patient ratio?

    (Is that too obvious?)
    Where's the monetary advantage in that?
  6. by   Aneroo
    Quote from SuesquatchRN
    Where's the monetary advantage in that?
    We see it- I wish they would!
    More nurses=lower ratios=safer care/practices=less lawsuits=more MONEY!
  7. by   VICEDRN
    Quote from Aneroo
    We see it- I wish they would!
    More nurses=lower ratios=safer care/practices=less lawsuits=more MONEY!

    Also, what about recruiting costs for replacing the frazzled staff? lol

  8. by   Ruby Vee
    early education: this is not the hilton and isn't likely to become such during your relative's hospital stay. therefore, do not expect the same level of "service" as one gets at the hilton. this is, however, a hospital -- you will be getting patient care. therefore, you will be getting what you need to get better, and not necessarily what you want.