Nurses with relatives in the hospital....

TazziRN, RN · Aug 18, 2007

Let the nurses do their jobs. Whatever you do, watch but don't hover unless you find a blatant problem. Do not, if they find out you're a nurse, let them push off her care on you. You are there as her DAUGHTER, not her nurse.

CyndieRN2007 · Aug 18, 2007

Thanks Tazzi, I guess I needed to hear that I shouldnt be over critical...My mom is expecting me to protect her against poor nursing care......I guess she has the idea that she is going to get poor nursing care? I wonder why she has this idea.......

Siss · Aug 18, 2007

Don't assume your mother will recieve poor nursing care. Treat the nurses as you would want to be treated if you were the nurse.

But I also agree that you shouldn't advertise the fact that you are a nurse. With my family, I have found that it seems to puts nurses on the defensive.

Be interested in what they are doing and offer to help, but don't take over, and don't let them push anything off on you.

Good luck and hang in there.

reesern63, RN · Aug 18, 2007

I'd reiterate what the others said. Be there to support your Mom. Don't go in with the "I'm a nurse" attitude. Let the nurses do their job. Try to think how you'd feel if you had someone sitting in the corner watching what you were doing.

I never advertise that I'm a nurse anymore. It makes life a whole lot easier.

Trauma Columnist · Aug 18, 2007

My grandson has been hospitalized twice since birth (he is 9 months old now) and both times I was the one staying (long story). Anyway, my rules are:

1. I don't advertise the fact that I'm a nurse.

2. I don't hover (although sometimes I'm tempted to).

3. I don't leave the room unless their is another family member present. (This was because he was an infant and we provided all his care).

4. Ask for creature comforts if you are staying the night. Nothing wrong with asking for a cot or recliner if they are available for family members.

5. Make your Mom as comfortable as possible. If she enjoys a favorite pair of pj's or a great book, try to provide that.

6. Relax - most hospital stays go off w/o a hitch. However, many patients now have family members stay with them. Most hospitals have no problem with this.

I<3H2O, BSN, RN · Aug 18, 2007

I wouldn't advertise that you are a nurse. You are a new nurse and don't know everything. You do not want to be expected to know/understand everything that is going on with your mom. As the nurse, who could be caring for your loved one, I like to know if someone in the family is in the medical profession but I do NOT let that change my care. EVERYONE gets equal care from me. There are no VIPs on my unit (although the CEO would beg to differ). I hope your mom's surgery goes well and I hope she gets the best nursing care around!

GingerSue · Aug 18, 2007

there are some very nice staff working in the hospital

and they are busy

Much of the time, staff would be on for one time and we would never see the person again. There were a few who were a bit more regular.

I found it easy to offer to help

With some things, I found that I had to persist or they didn't get done (I won't go into details)

(but it was kind of distressing to think that there was only one person on - one of the holidays - the one staff person came around checking blood glucose and explained that everyone else had phoned in sick, so she was the only one who showed up. I was glad that I had come that day, but it frightened me to leave my parent in such a situation - no staff)

woody62, RN · Aug 18, 2007

I have had my father in the hospital. Unfortunately my father's doctor told them I was an R.N. But it turned out to be a good thing. My father underwent surgery which turned into a five hour procedure. I took my mother home after my father was tranfered back to his floor. We did not go in until the following afternoon. I found my father very restless, confused and he appeared to be in pain. When I went to the station to ask for pain medication, I was told my father was on a PCA and could self administer. My father was eighty six years old and confused. He had apparently gone without pain medication since he had left the RR the previous evening. I very nicely asked the nurse to call the surgeon and request he be put on injections until his confusion cleared. She refused. I called the surgeon from his room and informed him of my father's state and my request. He immediately called in an order. The nurse gave him the injection, muttering about daughter's who are nurses and over stepping their bounds.

Most of the time, when a family member has been a patient, I have never told the staff I was a nurse. I don't even tell the ER staff when I have to go in. Most of the time, I and my family members have received good care and had no problems. My advice, don't tell them unless your mother has problems. Then take the necessary steps to ensure she received appropriate care. And remember you are a family member not a care giver, unless the situation warrents a change in your role.

Woody:balloons:

DutchgirlRN, ASN, RN · Aug 18, 2007

When a family member has been in the hospital there is not a chance of me being incognito. Everyone knows me, I've been there since 1981. I have never had a problem with a nurse or anyone trying to push the nursing care off on me. I have found that we get treated very well. Explanations are given to the family member just as if I were not a nurse. Nothing is taken for granted.

If I had a family member in another hospital I would not tell them that I am an RN. I think it would only serve to make them nervous. I hated it when a family member tried to shove the fact that they're a nurse in my face :angryfire and that seemed to be pretty common.

Pepper The Cat, BSN, RN · Aug 18, 2007

My mother just passed away (July 23) from a massive stroke. I spent the week before her death at the beside. The nurses knew I was a nurse, but they were fabulous about it. They asked me if I wanted to help with her care (turn, change, etc) and when I said I would prefer not to, they were great. I would step out when they turned her and step back in when they were done. Only once did I help turn and thats because the other nurses were busy with an ill pt and I was given the option to say no. I helped because I wanted my Mom to be comfortable.

The advantage of being a nurse was they didn't have to explain each med they gave her, they just said to me, "I have her morphine and versed here." And "We've started her on the CADD pump for better pain control".

I think the important thing is to establish from the start that while you may be a nurse when working, you are currently there as a family member, nothing more.

Hope you Mom is OK

Kidrn911 · Aug 19, 2007

My Nephew is constantly in the hospital He has 2 malignant brain tumors. He has had 2 brain surgeries, many doses of chemo, trouble with DI, and is scheduled this month for a Stem cell transplant. When he was first diagnosised at 17, my sister wanted him to be at the hospital I work at since it is the Best Children's Hospital in the city of Chicago (IMHO).

When I visit, I say "Hi, I work in the ER" to the nurses, but I don't mess with his pumps, monitors or anything. I relatively keep my mouth shut. Even when the one nurse took my nephews BP, 3 times and it was highly elevated, he asked "what that meant", and she informed him "he could stroke out and die":angryfire

However, when my daughter was 5 and was inpatient for a T and A, the nurse was changing the anesteshia tubing on the IV, she about lost my daughters IV. She really needed an IV because she was vomiting alot after the surgery. Anyway, I grabbed her IV and insisted I change it myself in fear she was about to rip it out. She didn't say a word and just let me do it.

I look at it this way, I let them do their job and try to stay out of the way, but I also wasn't going to let them ruin my daughters IV.