Nurses who are mothers to small children.

uRNmyway, ASN, RN · Apr 8, 2014

While of course you will see your child less once you work than now, let me tell you that working 3x12s per week is great for seeing your child. When I worked M-F, I saw my daughter a couple of hours each night before she went to bed, and then I had my precious weekends. With twelves, sure, I might see her a bit before I leave for work, then a bit when I come home, but then I get four full wonderful days to spend with her.

I promise, it will be hard at first. You will call daycare or wtv every chance you get to check in. Once you both get used to it, you still miss her, but it becomes routine, and much easier to handle.

Now I get to enjoy the look on her face when I come home and she yells 'Mama's home!' and comes running into my arms. Most awesome feeling ever.

Lillian11 · Apr 8, 2014

While of course you will see your child less once you work than now, let me tell you that working 3x12s per week is great for seeing your child. When I worked M-F, I saw my daughter a couple of hours each night before she went to bed, and then I had my precious weekends. With twelves, sure, I might see her a bit before I leave for work, then a bit when I come home, but then I get four full wonderful days to spend with her.
I promise, it will be hard at first. You will call daycare or wtv every chance you get to check in. Once you both get used to it, you still miss her, but it becomes routine, and much easier to handle.
Now I get to enjoy the look on her face when I come home and she yells 'Mama's home!' and comes running into my arms. Most awesome feeling ever.

You have a great point. I would much rather have 4 full days than a small amount of time and the weekends. I haven't thought about the reunion each day, but that sounds sooo sweet. Thank you!

Meriwhen, ASN, BSN, MSN, RN · Apr 8, 2014

It will be hard at first, but kids are more resilient than we give them credit for. Plus being in childcare will give your child a host of experiences and social interactions that they not have gotten otherwise. Just be sure to make your child your focus when you return home--save the computer, bills, etc., until after they are asleep.

But I will be honest: being able to see my child was one of the reasons I chose 8 hour shifts over 12s. The reality is that 12 hour shifts are more like 14-15 hours when you factor in such things as shift turnovers not being timely, leaving late d/t finishing up, commuting, etc. Then it's home, maybe doing one or two things around the house before going to sleep to repeat it all tomorrow. And 1 of the 4 off days is often given to recuperating, especially if the 12s being worked are night shift 12s.

I didn't want that. I don't think my child did either.

Fortunately, as a new grad I had the opportunity to choose 8s. It did mean I went into psych as opposed to going to a PCU...and that actually turned out to be a great career decision, but that's a tale for another thread.

Right now, I work per diem so I can spend more time with the second child. But again, I'm sticking with 8s so on the days I do work I will be able to see him awake. When the kids are older, I may try 12s again.

Best of luck whatever happens!

ORNerd, BSN, RN · Apr 8, 2014

I don't see my 2 year old at all the days I work. It is hard and if I work 2 or 3 12's in a row it can get downright depressing. But I schedule myself so I am off every Tuesday and Thursday (or am going in for a nightshift that night) and since he is in daycare MWF, we always have those days together, and weekends if I'm not working. When I'm off, I try and make sure we do something special. We love going to the YMCA, out to lunch, to the children's museum, playdates...anything. I'm also in school working on my BSN, so sometimes that takes priority, but I do my best. I truly feel like I have the best of both worlds...working full time and being at home with my little boy. I love it, even though it can be hard when I don't see him.

microkate · Apr 8, 2014

I'm working 2 12hr nights a week, and get tons of time with my kiddos! I do have basically 2.5 days out of the week where I sleep, but we have dinner together before I go to work, and I see them a little in the AM. That also gives me 4 full days to spend with them - far more than I'd get working a normal job. That other half day I get childcare anyway and do homework. We go do more things because I have weekdays available, so nothing is is crowded. My kids are also young enough that they aren't in school, so weekday vs weekend doesn't matter to them.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Apr 8, 2014

I worked the entire time with my kids. In the ED I worked 5p to 1:30A as infants (they are 11 months apart) I as with them all day and Daddy was with them all night. I breast fed them both and 12 hour shifts were long. But I did miss them. I went to 12 hour nights when they started school becasue I didn't see them at all. I was available for ALL school parties, functions, and didn't have to find childcare for the summers of snow days off. My children saw that you can work and be a good Mommy...but they didn't REALLY know what work was. They knew I wold kiss them good bye but I was there is the morning and it gave them alone time with Daddy who was gone all day.

I was tired but it was worth it. Even as they grew older when they could really get into trouble like swan diving off the roof into the pool I was home to be sure they didn't have too much fun...LOL. We loved the lazy days when I would hang blankets on the windows and blow up the king sized mattress in the floor pop popcorn the old fashioned way....on the stove....they loved Jiffy Pop :) and watch marathon movies on the DVD player. Nights worked when they were in school as I could come home...sleep pick them up do homework and get ready for work...and it was only every third weekend and only 3 days a week. It gave me adult time so I didn't go crazy. I had my babies 17 years into being a nurse and a trauma flight nurse so I needed my brain stimulated other than Franklin learned to share today! :banghead:

When they got a little older I did 12 hour days on the weekend and 8 or 12 hour nights during the week supervising a 300 bed Level 1 trauma center. No one can Deny the feeling you get when you walk in the door to a cacophony of MOMMY'S HOME!!!! and a wiggly happy weimaraner....hubby was just glad his day had ended and went to the hot tub to chill....LOL

HAPPY FAMILY and not one dime in childcare...EVER.

PureLifeRN · Apr 9, 2014

Hello!

I've done every shift with babies/kids at home. I started out with 3 12's and HATED IT. Couldn't get away fast enough. I found that working every other weekend was especially hard on my marriage because my husband always felt like he didn't get a break when I worked on the weekends and I felt like I didn't get a break on my days off because I was so exhausted. I figured a happy marriage is better for a child than an unhappy one so I went to the OR and worked 5 8's (7-3). I found this schedule to be the best for my kids because my husband dropped them off at 8:30 and I picked them up at 3:30 every day. Plus it was much better for our marriage to have weekends off together. I now work part time 3 10's and like that even better. Part time is amazing. Good luck! You'll figure out what works best for your situation! Many people told me that 3 12's are the best with small kids at home but I didn't like it because there were 3 days in the week I didn't get to see my kids at all (bedtime is 7:45)! That was harder for me!

Lillian11 · Apr 9, 2014

It will be hard at first, but kids are more resilient than we give them credit for. Plus being in childcare will give your child a host of experiences and social interactions that they not have gotten otherwise. Just be sure to make your child your focus when you return home--save the computer, bills, etc., until after they are asleep.
But I will be honest: being able to see my child was one of the reasons I chose 8 hour shifts over 12s. The reality is that 12 hour shifts are more like 14-15 hours when you factor in such things as shift turnovers not being timely, leaving late d/t finishing up, commuting, etc. Then it's home, maybe doing one or two things around the house before going to sleep to repeat it all tomorrow. And 1 of the 4 off days is often given to recuperating, especially if the 12s being worked are night shift 12s.
I didn't want that. I don't think my child did either.
Fortunately, as a new grad I had the opportunity to choose 8s. It did mean I went into psych as opposed to going to a PCU...and that actually turned out to be a great career decision, but that's a tale for another thread.
Right now, I work per diem so I can spend more time with the second child. But again, I'm sticking with 8s so on the days I do work I will be able to see him awake. When the kids are older, I may try 12s again.
Best of luck whatever happens!

Thanks for all your input!! :-)

Lillian11 · Apr 9, 2014

I don't see my 2 year old at all the days I work. It is hard and if I work 2 or 3 12's in a row it can get downright depressing. But I schedule myself so I am off every Tuesday and Thursday (or am going in for a nightshift that night) and since he is in daycare MWF, we always have those days together, and weekends if I'm not working. When I'm off, I try and make sure we do something special. We love going to the YMCA, out to lunch, to the children's museum, playdates...anything. I'm also in school working on my BSN, so sometimes that takes priority, but I do my best. I truly feel like I have the best of both worlds...working full time and being at home with my little boy. I love it, even though it can be hard when I don't see him.

This is so encouraging! Thank you :-)

Lillian11 · Apr 9, 2014

I'm working 2 12hr nights a week, and get tons of time with my kiddos! I do have basically 2.5 days out of the week where I sleep, but we have dinner together before I go to work, and I see them a little in the AM. That also gives me 4 full days to spend with them - far more than I'd get working a normal job. That other half day I get childcare anyway and do homework. We go do more things because I have weekdays available, so nothing is is crowded. My kids are also young enough that they aren't in school, so weekday vs weekend doesn't matter to them.

Thank you for sharing this.... really encouraging. :-)

Lillian11 · Apr 9, 2014

I worked the entire time with my kids. In the ED I worked 5p to 1:30A as infants (they are 11 months apart) I as with them all day and Daddy was with them all night. I breast fed them both and 12 hour shifts were long. But I did miss them. I went to 12 hour nights when they started school becasue I didn't see them at all. I was available for ALL school parties, functions, and didn't have to find childcare for the summers of snow days off. My children saw that you can work and be a good Mommy...but they didn't REALLY know what work was. They knew I wold kiss them good bye but I was there is the morning and it gave them alone time with Daddy who was gone all day.
I was tired but it was worth it. Even as they grew older when they could really get into trouble like swan diving off the roof into the pool I was home to be sure they didn't have too much fun...LOL. We loved the lazy days when I would hang blankets on the windows and blow up the king sized mattress in the floor pop popcorn the old fashioned way....on the stove....they loved Jiffy Pop :) and watch marathon movies on the DVD player. Nights worked when they were in school as I could come home...sleep pick them up do homework and get ready for work...and it was only every third weekend and only 3 days a week. It gave me adult time so I didn't go crazy. I had my babies 17 years into being a nurse and a trauma flight nurse so I needed my brain stimulated other than Franklin learned to share today!
When they got a little older I did 12 hour days on the weekend and 8 or 12 hour nights during the week supervising a 300 bed Level 1 trauma center. No one can Deny the feeling you get when you walk in the door to a cacophony of MOMMY'S HOME!!!! and a wiggly happy weimaraner....hubby was just glad his day had ended and went to the hot tub to chill....LOL
HAPPY FAMILY and not one dime in childcare...EVER.

I LOVED reading your post!! :-) I can just see the movie marathon, blow up mattress pallet and yummy popcorn. It is really nice to read your story and see that it is possible to be a great nurse, and still a very passionate mom at the same time!! Thanks so much for sharing! :-)