Nurses who are mothers to small children.

Nurses General Nursing

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For those of you with small children who work three twelve hour shifts per week, do you have any tips? Is it extremely hard not to see your child at all on the days that you work? I am extremely passionate about the profession of nursing, and have wanted this for years. I begin my career in July, and until then am spending invaluable time with my sweet 10-month-old.

I would love to hear stories of how you handle the balance, how your children handle you being at work and any other advice or tips that you may have for me!

Thank you so much,

New RN and Mommy

Specializes in Cardiac.
Hello!

I've done every shift with babies/kids at home. I started out with 3 12's and HATED IT. Couldn't get away fast enough. I found that working every other weekend was especially hard on my marriage because my husband always felt like he didn't get a break when I worked on the weekends and I felt like I didn't get a break on my days off because I was so exhausted. I figured a happy marriage is better for a child than an unhappy one so I went to the OR and worked 5 8's (7-3). I found this schedule to be the best for my kids because my husband dropped them off at 8:30 and I picked them up at 3:30 every day. Plus it was much better for our marriage to have weekends off together. I now work part time 3 10's and like that even better. Part time is amazing. Good luck! You'll figure out what works best for your situation! Many people told me that 3 12's are the best with small kids at home but I didn't like it because there were 3 days in the week I didn't get to see my kids at all (bedtime is 7:45)! That was harder for me!

I'm so happy to have a point of reference from all of these great posts. Thank you so much! I guess one beautiful thing about nursing is that we can find jobs//shifts of almost any type (days/hours), to accommodate our needs and families. I will start a 20 week residency in July, so I am at the mercy of my preceptors, but I will definitely keep all this in mind for when I am placed on a unit!

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Specializes in SICU, trauma, neuro.

I have five, ages 9 months to 12 yrs. I worked 3 12's when I had a 2 y/o and an infant. I don't do that now b/c my older 3 are so busy and I don't have to work FT...but with really small ones and needing my FT income at the time the 12's worked great. I was tired a lot, sure, but every 3rd week I had completely off! And that reunion when Mommy comes home is soooo sweet!! I remember coming home in the morning and my baby boy would be playing on the floor while his sister ate breakfast, and as soon as he'd see me he started doing that adorable baby bounce w/ his arms flapping. :inlove:

I think he was 5 when he realized I was a nurse. That was cute!! I'd always gone to work, but one day he heard me talking about work and he goes, "You're a nurse now? Wow Mom, that's really cool." :) A few months ago, my daughter who's almost 3 said, "I help the hurt people too." I said, "Oh, you're going to be a nurse like Mommy when you grow up?" And she said, "Yah. I go in my helicopter and find the hurt people. And I help the hurt people." I'm not sure where she got that...I might have said that helicopter flying over our house was probably taking someone to the hospital. Sweet times.

It'll work out fine. You're going to be a good nurse and have lots of time for your little one.

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Specializes in LTC, Agency, HHC.

The hardest part for my kids was me working F/T and going to school. My 6 yo still has days where he just wants to stay home with me. Now that I am done with school, I work nights, so it's a bit easier. I can put them to bed at night and be home in the AM before they get off to school. I've also noticed the change in attitude (he is my stubborn tempered one) when I go to school and have lunch with him once a week. He loves it.

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Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

I can tell you that my kids, who are now 16 and 19, have few memories of their days in daycare and those they do have revolve around how much they loved "water play" day and things like that. They don't remember crying or clinging to me as I dropped them off and they don't remember how long they were there or how many years they went. They really are just fine and I have thought to myself more than once that I wish I could go back in time and reassure my anxious and guilty feeling self that I was not harming them at ALL. I tell them now about how stressed I was and they pretty much laugh at me. Rotten boys. :cool:

I work with several new mommies. They get pictures of their babies a couple of times a day from their day care (or nanny or whoever cares for them). One has her husband put the baby on Skype for a minute during her lunch break. I like to ask about their little one and they love being able to tell me a story or show me a picture - find a sympathetic coworker who will give you an opportunity to talk about your child from time to time. It helps I think.

Many of them work Sat/Sun/Mon every week, so that the child is with dad on the weekends and only has a different caretaker on Mondays. It has been good for the kiddo's dad to get to be primary caregiver, so it isn't all about what the mother is losing - it is also about what the father and the baby are gaining.

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Specializes in Cardiac.
I have five, ages 9 months to 12 yrs. I worked 3 12's when I had a 2 y/o and an infant. I don't do that now b/c my older 3 are so busy and I don't have to work FT...but with really small ones and needing my FT income at the time the 12's worked great. I was tired a lot, sure, but every 3rd week I had completely off! And that reunion when Mommy comes home is soooo sweet!! I remember coming home in the morning and my baby boy would be playing on the floor while his sister ate breakfast, and as soon as he'd see me he started doing that adorable baby bounce w/ his arms flapping. :inlove:

I think he was 5 when he realized I was a nurse. That was cute!! I'd always gone to work, but one day he heard me talking about work and he goes, "You're a nurse now? Wow Mom, that's really cool." :) A few months ago, my daughter who's almost 3 said, "I help the hurt people too." I said, "Oh, you're going to be a nurse like Mommy when you grow up?" And she said, "Yah. I go in my helicopter and find the hurt people. And I help the hurt people." I'm not sure where she got that...I might have said that helicopter flying over our house was probably taking someone to the hospital. Sweet times.

It'll work out fine. You're going to be a good nurse and have lots of time for your little one.

Thanks for sharing your story... and the encouragement! :-)

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Specializes in Cardiac.
The hardest part for my kids was me working F/T and going to school. My 6 yo still has days where he just wants to stay home with me. Now that I am done with school, I work nights, so it's a bit easier. I can put them to bed at night and be home in the AM before they get off to school. I've also noticed the change in attitude (he is my stubborn tempered one) when I go to school and have lunch with him once a week. He loves it.

I bet!! I had a hard time juggling my last semester and working part time, so I went PRN... he was 7 months when I graduated. Luckily, I doubt he will have any recollection of that time! Now that I'm beginning my career, and thinking more long term, I want to make sure I structure my schedule so that he is my priority and nursing is next in line... if that makes sense. :-)

Thanks for sharing! :-)

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Specializes in Cardiac.
I can tell you that my kids, who are now 16 and 19, have few memories of their days in daycare and those they do have revolve around how much they loved "water play" day and things like that. They don't remember crying or clinging to me as I dropped them off and they don't remember how long they were there or how many years they went. They really are just fine and I have thought to myself more than once that I wish I could go back in time and reassure my anxious and guilty feeling self that I was not harming them at ALL. I tell them now about how stressed I was and they pretty much laugh at me. Rotten boys. :cool:

I work with several new mommies. They get pictures of their babies a couple of times a day from their day care (or nanny or whoever cares for them). One has her husband put the baby on Skype for a minute during her lunch break. I like to ask about their little one and they love being able to tell me a story or show me a picture - find a sympathetic coworker who will give you an opportunity to talk about your child from time to time. It helps I think.

Many of them work Sat/Sun/Mon every week, so that the child is with dad on the weekends and only has a different caretaker on Mondays. It has been good for the kiddo's dad to get to be primary caregiver, so it isn't all about what the mother is losing - it is also about what the father and the baby are gaining.

I want to hug you! Thank you so much for the encouraging post!!! Makes me feel so much better. I do feel really guilty about going back to work... I really like the idea of working on the weekends so that he can hang out with his dad on the weekends. :-) Thanks again!!

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Specializes in SICU, trauma, neuro.

Lillian11--you're welcome. :)

not.done.yet--great point about the time the kids get w/ Dad!

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I work M-F 8-5 with a little one at home with Dad. It's nice for us because no matter what our kiddo has Dad. I am seriously thinking about going back to school so I know things are going to get tough. I also worry about what I will miss out on, but when they are little they won't be missing you nearly as much as you are missing them.

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