Nurses with relatives in the hospital....

[CyndieRN2007]

My mother is scheduled for a hysterectomy next week. Of course, I am going to be right by her side. This is the first time any close family member or mine has been hospitalized since I became a nurse. Needless to say, I am the one who is expected to sit with my mother in the hospital. I guess I am alittle nervous about the whole situation.

I am wondering how nurses handle to dual role of NURSE and concerned family member? I hope things go smoothly with the surgery and recovery.....I guess Im really worried about her..........I have never had my emotions and my nursing mixed up like this before....

[cjmue12]

One of the more painful issues I have noticed is with my own family. They expect you to know why everything is done the way it is. I am an ICU nurse, therefore my expertise lies with the very sick patients. I am not an expert on ortho, L &D, oncology, coloscopies etc. My own parents will say well you're a nurse, why dont you know. Good lord!! I will not advertise my being a nurse, and generally observe a little closer at what the other nurses are doing. Most of the time I do not see any negligence, or decreased quality of care. Everyone does things a little different. I would speak up if I had to, and have had to on one occasion (88 year old grandma with C5 fracture - which was fractured in the cat scanner when she stood up and proceeded to have a syncopal episode, which is what the CT was for in the first place, tech should never have left her alone!!) anyway she was lying flat on her back on the step down floor with her halo, and they didnt sit her up, and you guessed it she threw up and aspirated. How humiliating!! I work at this hospital and grandma gets inadequate care. And no antithrombolytic therapy. Sorry for digressing. I spoke plenty then!! Good luck to your mother!

[sistasoul]

I'd reiterate what the others said. Be there to support your Mom. Don't go in with the "I'm a nurse" attitude. Let the nurses do their job. Try to think how you'd feel if you had someone sitting in the corner watching what you were doing.

I never advertise that I'm a nurse anymore. It makes life a whole lot easier.

I totally agree with your post. I am an aide in a hospital and the family member doesn't have to announce they are a nurse but you can usually tell. You can see the comfort zone of being in a hospital setting and you can pick up they have a medical knowledge base. I think being a nurse is a way of being and it comes out whether we want it to or not. I usually will ask if they are a nurse or an aide and 9 times out of 10 they are.

[Susan9608]

This is an interesting discussion to me right now; my mother-in-law is actually in the ICU as we speak (or type.)

I suppose I'm in the minority, but I don't see anything wrong with advertising the fact that you are a nurse. When I'm caring for my own patients, I always like to know if their families are medical professionals. It helps me to know what kind of information they need and how they need that information presented.

I've let all the staff caring for my mother-in-law know that I'm a nurse, so that they will understand why I want the information I want. It means something to me to know exactly how much norepi my MIL is on or what her PEEP is on her vent. I'm more comfortable hearing those specifics than something like, "Oh we had to go up on her settings." I find that it's easier to get the information I want if everyone knows I'm a nurse.

[Pepper The Cat, BSN, RN]

This is an interesting discussion to me right now; my mother-in-law is actually in the ICU as we speak (or type.)

I suppose I'm in the minority, but I don't see anything wrong with advertising the fact that you are a nurse. When I'm caring for my own patients, I always like to know if their families are medical professionals. It helps me to know what kind of information they need and how they need that information presented.

I've let all the staff caring for my mother-in-law know that I'm a nurse, so that they will understand why I want the information I want. It means something to me to know exactly how much norepi my MIL is on or what her PEEP is on her vent. I'm more comfortable hearing those specifics than something like, "Oh we had to go up on her settings." I find that it's easier to get the information I want if everyone knows I'm a nurse.

I agree Susan. I liked that the nurses caring for my mother knew I was a nurse. Not only did they give the information in a different manner, we had some interesting conversations about the differences in our hospitals - and the similarities.

I also like it when I know that a pts' family member is a nurse. I find it easier to discuss the person's care needs and any problems we are facing. I don't think I have ever been intimidated by a family just because they are in the medical profession.

[Cindy1008RN]

I, like a few have posted, like to know if I am caring for someone that is an RN, or the family member of a medical professional. Not that I adjust my level of care because I care for each of my patients the way I would want my family cared for..

I will just say that sometimes, it is necessary to let the care givers know you are a professional.

[Sue Damonas, BSN]

I had my mother in and out of the hospital a lot for several years and never told anyone I was a nurse. Of course my mother told everyone and I was really embarrassed. Anyhow, I was very helpful and never demanding, everyone always said how much they enjoyed the two of us. The only time I had to really intervene was when my Mom went to an ECF after her open heart, for "rehab". She had an absolutely horrid experience there and I ended up calling her doc myself and got her out of there.