New nurses wanted.

We need new nurses. We need people with strength of character, intelligence, and drive. So who says they're being driven away? Nurses General Nursing Article

I have just read a post in a Nursing Specialties forum on Staff Development that makes reference to the need to recognize and nurture new nurses because the nursing-eat-their-young attitude is so widespread. I went to respond to that but realized it might see more eyes here.

As a clarification, it is critically important to know that someone who has a bad experience is likely to tell the story 25 times, while someone with a good one is likely to tell that story only 5 times. If therefore you apply this algorithm to the posts complaining of wretched treatment at the hands of old meanies who don't remember what it is to have a dreeeeaaaammmmm and passsssssiooonnnn, then you come out with a more realistic picture.

Language is also critically important. Using words like, "It has been a chronic problem that has driven new nurses to leave nursing areas they had aspired to work in, and oftentimes caused new nurses to leave the nursing field entirely. No one knows how many talented people have been driven from the field of nursing, but it seems to be a widespread problem if all the articles and discussion in nursing forums is representative of most nursing environments" makes assumptions on facts not in evidence. "Seem(ing) to be a widespread problem" only works if you believe that "all the articles and discussion is representative of most nursing environments." (emphasis added here and below). Data, please. What's the source of that information?

There are many threads and posts on AN that describe awesome experiences and workplaces, yet this assertion of "all the articles and discussion" clearly ignores them. There is ample evidence of older nurses here and at work supporting, teaching, and mentoring younger ones, on their own time, for free, late at night when they ought to be in bed, precisely because they want to nurture new nurses. We know they are our future, and we want them to be good. At the same time, there are multiple posts from new nurses that can bitterly dishearten the seasoned thoughtful practitioner, posts that indicate low levels of preparation, high levels of neediness and entitlement, unrealistic expectations of the realities of bedside work, and inability to adapt to the labor market.

Those older, seasoned, and experienced practitioners express their dismay at these attitudes in many ways, from light-hearted banter to bitter and heartbroken rant. The resulting wails are instructive-- and demonstrative of a problem that has generally nothing whatsoever to do with young-eating. Perhaps some of those "many talented people" (in whose estimation? their own?) are "oftentimes" "driven" away by other factors than this seriously-overused and incredible (in the definition of the word, meaning, "not believable," not "rad, totally awesome, duuude") sound bite. Beware the shallow thinker who prefers sound bites to thoughtful analysis; do not be that person. We need better critical thinking in nursing. It can start here.

Those of us older and more seasoned nurses know better than to discourage all new nurses from practice. We, better than they, have a clearer vision of being in those beds rather than beside them; we, better than they, have a larger perspective on the world of nursing care. We have already been new nurses. We have already been managers. We have already taken the responsibility of being charge nurses. We have been years at bedsides. We have already seen and participated in disasters, codes, deaths, family tragedies, fights, and labor actions. We know what it takes. We know we need more of us, as we age and leave because we are not able to do it anymore.

We can be pardoned for being scared to death of those soi-disant (this means, in translation, self-described) "talented people" who are unable to (for lack of a better word) hack it at the bedside and do not understand, or try to understand, from whence we come. The perennially-aggrieved give us heartburn; we have no patience with them, we don't have time. We are scared of what will happen to us and our loved ones when the self-esteem movement leaves us with caregivers that need more validation from their patients than they have the fortitude to learn to give them.

We welcome whole-heartedly, unreservedly, new nurses who are willing to put their education in its proper place, planning and providing competent care. We love the one who doesn't come in and say, "I'm just working here for a year so I can go to ICU and then go to CRNA / NP school." We want good nurses; we are willing to help new nurses who want to work wherever there is a need even if it's not their dreeeeaammmm job, and work hard, to grow. We want to work with people who don't have such a twitchy trigger finger, ready to go off with a bang over the least perceived slight. We want colleagues who believe this: Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted. (~Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Anyone who wants to be a nurse who has the strength of character to do that, we're ready for you. Are you ready for us? We are already here.

To the seasoned nurses " to get respect you have to give it" just because someone is new, does not mean that they are not a human being and because of that they DESERVE respect also. I am over 40 yrs old, please do not talk to me as though I am a 2 yr old, it's very disrespectful and just plain rude. I almost want to ask some of the ruder ones if they were ever taught to be nice to their coworkers. I have been in a few other work environments other than healthcare and I can honestly say that I have never encountered this type of cattiness and rudness in a profession. I am learning what I DO NOT want to be as a nurse. The only way to change it is to STOP IT. If your doing it Stop it and if you witness it SAY SOMETHING to the person doing it!!!! Take action.

Again, and again, and again: Being corrected is not disrespectful, is not rudeness, is not a personal attack. If I really didn't give a sweet patootie about you, I wouldn't bother to correct you on anything, and I would let you continue on, and your manager would take care of my problem for me when you finally did something awful. However, in the meantime, the patients would suffer for both of our failings.

As the multiple threads on dealing with rude patients and families attest, nurses need to develop a thicker skin than, say, librarians or chemists or grade-school teachers.

Your perceptions are yours and you can do what you want with them, but you will miss out on a lot if you keep taking everything so personally. Dialing back the I'm-offended filter will serve you a world of good.

For example, if you listen hard to them, you will learn something from those "rude" patients about their fears or their misconceptions or their circumstances that will open your eyes to their painful realities and make it possible for you to give them much better care than if you didn't.

And you will learn something from those "rude" seasoned nurses, too. You might not appreciate it for what it truly is for a long time, but trust me on this one. Any older nurse can testify to the truth in it.

GrnTea-I really don't think that some of the seasoned nurses correct new nurses because "they care about them". Have you ever heard of people putting other people down to lift themselves up? It's called low self esteem. I am the first person to say correct me when I'm wrong, I want to learn and do things the right way, and futhermore I actually do have a thick skin. I have not gotten this far without being tough and persistent. Do not confuse my demand for respect for being a baby, thinskinned or any other adjective you can think of. I can tell that this is a losing battle, all I am saying is that it DOES exist. I and many other new nurses have learned quite a bit from some seasoned nurses that actually have people skills, that know how to say in a middle of a crazy day " I'm really crazy busy right now and don't have alot of time to answer questions, so if you could wait until the end of shift I will be glad to answer some of your questions", instead of not even acknowledging that I just asked a question or better yet the ever present sneer of disgust. It's called communication skills ladies, you have to communicate with the families don't you- so it is possible to have a crazy day/week and still know how to talk to one another.

Specializes in Nursing Education, CVICU, Float Pool.

While I agree that correction should not always be viewed as a personal attack or act of malice, it would be futile to say that the correction, and the reception of it, can be heavily influenced by the way it is delivered.

If someone is tactless in their critique, then, of course, it will more than likely cause more problems than it solves. Now am I saying you must "sugar coat" things, most certainly not, these are adults we're working with, but you can't deliver a message in any kind of manner and expect someone to be receptive. There is a way to say things directly and professionally while causing minimal offense. If

Now some people can handle a more...... Abrupt approach than others.

For example: take an experienced individual who may have a background in a strict family or military, when speaking or correcting a lesser experienced person who may have a similar background, they may be able to bring across points a certain way without causing offense.

Rudeness or brevity is never a requirement for a point to stick. You don't have to be rude to get a point across. There is a difference between assertiveness and aggression.

Training a less experienced one calls for respect, open-mindless, tact, and tolerance from both the learner and the teacher. Tolerance is a key because we are always going to be surrounded by people, whether we are the experienced individual or inexperienced one, who make us want to "reach out and touch them", but in most cases we can't do that without causing more problems.......and losing our jobs. Lol.

Some people will take offense no matter what you say or how you say it.

Specializes in Nursing Education, CVICU, Float Pool.
GrnTea-I really don't think that some of the seasoned nurses correct new nurses because "they care about them". Have you ever heard of people putting other people down to lift themselves up? It's called low self esteem. I am the first person to say correct me when I'm wrong I want to learn and do things the right way, and futhermore I actually do have a thick skin. I have not gotten this far without being tough and persistent. Do not confuse my demand for respect for being a baby, thinskinned or any other adjective you can think of. I can tell that this is a losing battle, all I am saying is that it DOES exist. I and many other new nurses have learned quite a bit from some seasoned nurses that actually have people skills, that know how to say in a middle of a crazy day " I'm really crazy busy right now and don't have alot of time to answer questions, so if you could wait until the end of shift I will be glad to answer some of your questions", instead of not even acknowledging that I just asked a question or better yet the ever present sneer of disgust. It's called communication skills ladies, you have to communicate with the families don't you- so it is possible to have a crazy day/week and still know how to talk to one another.[/quote']

Praise!

While I agree that correction should not always be viewed as a personal attack or act of malice, it would be futile to say that the correction, and the reception of it, can be heavily influenced by the way it is delivered.

If someone is tactless in their critique, then, of course, it will more than likely cause more problems than it solves. Now am I saying you must "sugar coat" things, most certainly not, these are adults we're working with, but you can't deliver a message in any kind of manner and expect someone to be receptive. There is a way to say things directly and professionally while causing minimal offense. If

Now some people can handle a more...... Abrupt approach than others.

For example: take an experienced individual who may have a background in a strict family or military, when speaking or correcting a lesser experienced person who may have a similar background, they may be able to bring across points a certain way without causing offense.

Rudeness or brevity is never a requirement for a point to stick. You don't have to be rude to get a point across. There is a difference between assertiveness and aggression.

Training a less experienced one calls for respect, open-mindless, tact, and tolerance from both the learner and the teacher. Tolerance is a key because we are always going to be surrounded by people, whether we are the experienced individual or inexperienced one, who make us want to "reach out and touch them", but in most cases we can't do that without causing more problems.......and losing our jobs. Lol.

Some people will take offense no matter what you say or how you say it.

Well said!!!!

Specializes in ICU.

Very well said, PatMac.

I agree that it is tiring to have to feel impeded or inconvenienced by the preceptor role.

But it is equally tiring for an orientee to have to continually bear the projection of your discontent.

It's called communication skills ladies

And gentlemen?

so many get so defensive or whiny or feel disrespected at any correction or anyone pointing out their errors. even in a nice "just so you know" with a smile approach. i have seen it many times. which is why many nurses wont tell you, will gladly enjoy the arrival of the md to chew you out, the one who makes the hospital millions, and will let your manager know you are incompetent and the cno. or will just fill out incident reports or email the manager every error you do. meanwhile you have no clue what you are doing wrong . i dunno where some of you worked prior to nursing.... i am only in my mid 20s and have seen this in every job, every area of life, everywhere people are catty , "rude" etc.... maybe it is having grown up in a major northeast city ........

GrnTea-I really don't think that some of the seasoned nurses correct new nurses because "they care about them". Have you ever heard of people putting other people down to lift themselves up? It's called low self esteem. I am the first person to say correct me when I'm wrong, I want to learn and do things the right way, and futhermore I actually do have a thick skin. I have not gotten this far without being tough and persistent. Do not confuse my demand for respect for being a baby, thinskinned or any other adjective you can think of. I can tell that this is a losing battle, all I am saying is that it DOES exist. I and many other new nurses have learned quite a bit from some seasoned nurses that actually have people skills, that know how to say in a middle of a crazy day " I'm really crazy busy right now and don't have alot of time to answer questions, so if you could wait until the end of shift I will be glad to answer some of your questions", instead of not even acknowledging that I just asked a question or better yet the ever present sneer of disgust. It's called communication skills ladies, you have to communicate with the families don't you- so it is possible to have a crazy day/week and still know how to talk to one another.

That's not what I deplore and you know it. I always taught my children that making someone else feel small is no way to make yourself feel big. However, perpetual victimhood and offended-ness does no one any good either. A significant number of people will read "I'm crazy busy right now and I'll be able to answer you later" as "OMG, she thinks I am so insignificant that she won't even talk to me, it was just a simple question, I just wanted her help and she won't help me ... I am so disrespected here! They treat me like next to nothing! Nurses eat their young!! Waaaah!" And we're off.

That is very tiring.

That's not what I deplore and you know it. I always taught my children that making someone else feel small is no way to make yourself feel big. However, perpetual victimhood and offended-ness does no one any good either. A significant number of people will read "I'm crazy busy right now and I'll be able to answer you later" as "OMG, she thinks I am so insignificant that she won't even talk to me, it was just a simple question, I just wanted her help and she won't help me ... I am so disrespected here! They treat me like next to nothing! Nurses eat their young!! Waaaah!" And we're off.

That is very tiring.

[/quote) All I can say is WOW! I guess you are a member of the crusty old bat society!

All I can say is WOW! I guess you are a member of the crusty old bat society!

Good spot. What was your first clue? :)