My kids are sending me to the psyc. ward - page 6

THEY ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!! (sorry.. having one of those days) maybe because my hubby is gone (week #1 out of 5 mos). maybe because they are only 2 and 5 yrs old. maybe because Im too... Read More

  1. by   Diana in Sweden
    so I teach my children to be afraid of me instead of the truck .. whatever ...
    what about a fence?
  2. by   Furball
    I'm with you on this one Diana. I follow through on discipline, no means no, my 10 year old is well behaved, mature and never spanked.
  3. by   Diana in Sweden
    I have what her kindergarden teacher termed the most curious and active 6 year old she has ever met in 20 years of teaching .. she has needed very carefull watching to keep her safe, she is polite and respectful both of her elders and other children. She is learning to interact with other children and is doing well at school.
    my 9 year old has been easier to raise ( well so far lol ) she is also well behaved, happy, has many friends and excells at school.
    I have allways followed through on a no and dock treats for punishment.
    I am very proud of my children and the fact I have never hit them or used belittling punishment.
    thank you for your support furball
  4. by   nurse2002
    Originally posted by Diana in Sweden
    so I teach my children to be afraid of me instead of the truck .. whatever ...
    what about a fence?
    That was just an example. I was talking about using spanking as a last resort. I think if you spank a child out of anger it would be damaging and they would be afraid of you. But I would classify spanking out of anger abuse. Spanking to discipline is just that discipline. Im not talking about beating a kids butt and leaving marks. Im talking about a swat on the butt. A wake up call.

    If time out or talking works for a child, thats great. But these consequences dont always work.

    There is a diff between abuse and spanking.
  5. by   Diana in Sweden
    ok i haven't needed it ..i cannot imagine a situation that I would need it .. if my husband "swatted" me I wouldn't accept it .... so I don't expect my children to accept it from me either

    my fence was also an example .. I do not see a situation that I would keep my child safer by hitting her than taking her out of that situation and talking to her

    I never said you were abusing a child by spanking... I simply said I did not agree with it check post 63
  6. by   Furball

    Raising kids takes creativity. This is one of my favorite stories ...
    When my son was 3 and REFUSED to try a bite of broccolli, I didn't yell, threaten....I just put huge piles of broccolli on mine and my husbands plate and a speck of green on the little guys plate. I told him broccolli was for grown ups, that that was all he was going to get. He pouted, teared up but didn't get any broccolli. The next time I served broccolli, I told him he looked bigger so maybe I'll give him a bigger portion. The kid INHALED the broccolli.

    Whenever my son misbehaves (yes, he isn't perfect) he loses his bike, trampoline or is grounded and the punishment sticks. When he was little, I took him hiking with me a lot (climbed his first mountain at age 3)....so he was always too tired to misbehave and throw a tantrum.

    Edited to add; I don't mean to insinuate that pro spankers lack creativity....I'm just describing my relationship with my son and how I've used a bit of reverse pychology on him. Works like a charm!
    Last edit by Furball on May 2, '03
  7. by   Diana in Sweden
    hey furball
    you and I should get together .... you sound like a person I would like to spend time with
    loved the broccoli thing :roll
    I have been trying to get my 9 year old to learn english .. she refuses ... so we started speaking english around her, just everyday stuff like "pass the sugar" and then back to swedish ... she is so curious so now she wants to learn
  8. by   Furball
    Thanks Diana...same here...will be looking forward to reading your posts on other topics!

    Furby

    PS Your kids sound delightful
  9. by   Diana in Sweden

    off to bed now .. it is 10 30 here
    thanks for the chat everyone
    I have enjoyed it

    thanks furball .. your son sounds fun too
    Last edit by Diana in Sweden on May 2, '03
  10. by   nurse2002
    Originally posted by Diana in Sweden
    ok i haven't needed it ..i cannot imagine a situation that I would need it .. if my husband "swatted" me I wouldn't accept it .... so I don't expect my children to accept it from me either

    my fence was also an example .. I do not see a situation that I would keep my child safer by hitting her than taking her out of that situation and talking to her

    I never said you were abusing a child by spanking... I simply said I did not agree with it check post 63
    Noone said anytng about "hitting" a child. We said "spanking"
    There is a difference.

    I dont say I spank my children as the only form of discipline. Like I said, a last resort.

    Actually, as a child I was never spanked. And believe me there were times when I should of been. I dont think I would of respected my parents any less.

    There are always "what ifs." We could look at statistics forever.
    I think the botton line is we all have a different way of disciplining our children. Ive seen adults who were spanked turn out wonderful and love their parents to death and be good parents themselves. Ive seen kids who were spanked that are rotten adults and parents. Ive also seen adults that were not spanked as children turn out the same ways.
  11. by   nurse2002
    Originally posted by Diana in Sweden

    off to bed now .. it is 10 30 here
    thanks for the chat everyone
    I have enjoyed it

    thanks furball .. your son sounds fun too
    Good nite from me also. It IS refreshng to hear others opinions.
    Take care
  12. by   RNinICU
    Originally posted by passing thru




    For the 4 year old who screeches eardrum-rupturing decibels in the grocery store or mall...................it isn't cute.
    And it's curable. One good smack across the cheek cures
    that little attention grabber.

    A "good smack across the cheek" may stop the scream, but IMO is not only physical abuse, it is emotional abuse as well. A four year old can feel humiliarion, and slapping someones's face in public causes that person humiliation. When children are abused and humiliated, they grow up fostering anger and resentment. When they become older, they act out on that anger, often taking it out on their parents or other children. These children may become violent themselves, or sexually inappropriate when they reach their teen years. Then the parents want to place all the blame elsewhere. The kids are labeled as "bad" and the poor suffering parents are martyrs. I raised six children, with firm discipline, and consistent limits. I never slapped or spanked any of them, and they are all happy, welll adjusted, successful adults. And they remain close to each other and to me and my husband.
  13. by   angellavg
    i know where you are coming from!! i decided after a long and hard thought that i would go to walmart because we needed diapers and sandles for the summer. BIG MISTAKE!!!!!! we got in the door and it was like roaches scattering when the lights come on. my 2, 5, and 12 yo decided to all go in different ways. and then to try and put the 2 yo in a cart--that's like trying to wrestle an octopus. my husband works very strange hours (he works in a dairy) so i don't get a lot of help either. i don't even like to go to the grocery store because i end up with twice as much in the cart then i needed because i'm sick of the screaming fits. aren't children wonderful???????!!!!!!!!

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