My kids are sending me to the psyc. ward

nurse-in-boots · Apr 30, 2003

This morning... whole new story....

I drop my 5 yr old off at school, get home, and start to clean up the breakfast mess. I THOUGHT my 2 yr old was sitting quietly in her room, watching Dora. Was she? NOOOOO! Shes sitting quietly in her room with a tube of my lipstick. (burgendy colored).

So, does anyone know how to get red lipstick off of my white walls? (p.s., it dont come off so easily from her legs, arms, face, etc. )

betts · Apr 30, 2003

You'll need to know:

pack lightly

learn the Thorazine Shuffle

train brain to NOT say Nite-All but rather Haldol

I believed that the Terrible Two's doubled to Four's and tripled to Sixes; my front&rear door were the entrances to my private Psych Clinic!

ohbet · Apr 30, 2003

Coincidentally I too have a 2,almost three yo,and a 5 yo.,however my SO is here.

I do take them out to eat w/o my significant other, and they misbehave, if you have a 5 yo boy you can expect more misbehavior,not cause boys are evil but cause they have less impulse control at this age.

In your case they may be acting out more cause Dad is not there...but whatever the case may be when mine mis behave I threatened them by promising to take away an IMMEDIATE enjoyment,like desert or TV after dinner.When i first started this it didnt work because they had never seen me follow thru with the threat but when I did follow thru they knew I was serious and they usually listen up. So much for Positive Discipline but this usually works. However when you take away the enjoyment you can expect a further melt down,in that case put them in there room and then pray they kill each other.

allnurses Guide · Apr 30, 2003

I remember walking in a mall when I was preggers with my first child, when I accidently bumped into a two year old girl, knocking her to the ground. It was my fault and I apologized while putting my hand out to help her up. Her mother proceeded to slap her across the face, yelling at her and blaming her for getting in MY way. I was appalled. I decided then and there that slapping across the face was completely disrespectful (and a place prone to injury anyway). Now, I'm not against a swat on the tush for a child who is saying, in effect, "up yours mom - I ain't gonna do it!!". But slapping is wrong.

I agree with the advice of other posters . . consider the age and abilities of your children. Avoid situations where you know they will get tired and act up. Get take out food and go to a park and let your kids run and play. You are essentially a single parent for awhile . . don't put yourself in situations where you know you will be stressed. And don't listen to the "my kids were perfect angels" parents . . . . they are just gonna produce guilt which will make your life more stressful. Can you enlist some help from your church or synagogue members? Or family?

Be firm, consistent and don't let your kids disrespect you. If you fall apart, your kids will know they can run right over you. They actually want rules . . . . there was a study done in the 1970's . . . a school took down a fence that surrounded a playground at an elementary school. Before the fence was down, the kids would play all over the playground right up to the fence line. Afterwards, the kids huddled in the middle not feeling safe enough to venture out. Like when we drive . . if that little yellow or white line is gone from the middle of the road, we feel unsafe. Even though it is just a line not a real wall between the oncoming traffic.

Best wishes

Mint Julip · Apr 30, 2003

Smack her across the face, passing thru??!! I would NEVER abuse my children's trust by slapping them across the face, let alone in public. I don't use hitting as a method to solve behavioral problems. I reason with them and if that fails I take away their privileges. No computer, phone privileges, cartoons, video games or friends over to the house. Uh huh, that works for me.

My daughter is certainly old enough to understand that her actions have consequences. She doesn't always act out in public, but when she does I pack up and go home if possible. As Lucianne has said there are times when that is just not feasible. I'm sorry, but children are children and yes they will behave badly at times.

If you are suggesting that I let my daughter screech to her heart's content or I don't respond to her behavior you are mistaken. I deal with it in a manner that I feel is appropriate and I don't give a rat's behind what other people think about it. These are my children not theirs.

nurse-in-boots:

Do you have any baby wipes on hand? They are pretty good with removing lipstick from the walls. If that doesn't work Goo Gone will remove it.

Liann · Apr 30, 2003

Things I learned from my kids toddler years:

Stock up on Resolve carpet cleaner

Goo Gone for sticky , greasy, lipstick stuff

Spray n Wash or Shout for laundry- rubbed in with old toothbrush

White vinegar and /or club soda for general stain removal

And good old Chlorine bleach for any surface that can stand the stuff!!

Liann · Apr 30, 2003

Oh and I forgot to mention that gentle scrubbing with toothpaste on a washcloth will get the lipstick off the kids skin. Works well for Kool aid moustache too!!

Y2KRN · Apr 30, 2003

Hello,

Can empathize with and feel your pain!!!!!!! Husband was a sub-mariner for first 5 yrs of our marriage. Six month madatory deployments, and travel overseas while on shore duty. I was in nursing shcool when he went to England for three weeks. My daughter was three months old, my son 2 and a half. I was never closer to losing my mind as I was then.

He felt the stress all the way to England and actually had a dream that I was going to divorce him. My daughter had gotten sick the second week and I had no family around me to help watch her. I had to miss clinicals it was hard.

I can tell you though from experience it does get better, just hang in there you are not alone!!!

y2krn

susanmary · Apr 30, 2003

Originally posted by passing thru
I will play the "devil's advocate" here and put myself in the place of the adults who endured the shenanigans.
My opinion is, if your kids are too young or too __________, to behave in restaurants, order your food to go/ or JUST LEAVE !
If your kids screech, cry, yell, ...leave ! Have some respect for the diners who were looking forward to a nice salad and pizza dinner...after a hard day at work. Maybe they splurged their "eating out " money for the whole month on this one pizza meal, and what do they get??

It's my pet peeve...parents looking frustrated and embarrassed and helpless while their kids scream and cry, run all over the place, and ruin the other peoples dining experience. Simply pick them up and go home ! As one mom said to me, ""But, I hate to have to take the pizza home; they make such a mess, and THEN I'LL HAVE TO CLEAN IT UP !!""

For the 4 year old who screeches eardrum-rupturing decibels in the grocery store or mall...................it isn't cute.
And it's curable. One good smack across the cheek cures
that little attention grabber.

I know. I raised four and did not tolerate screeching in public places. Your four year old is pulling that act at home too. Re: the mall....a 4 year old can remember what she did and can be punished later at home. It's not that difficult to put a scrreeching halt to it....if you want to.

It relative. My neighbor has one eight year old, 2 six year olds, 2 four year olds, and 2 two year olds. Yep, one single birth and 3 consecutive sets of twins. Her husband died of a malignant brain tumor about 6 months ago. No screeching or acting out in public with this bunch, no attention-grabbing behaviors.

I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO SAY. I AGREE WITH YOUR POINT NOT TO TAKE CHILDREN TO PLACES WHEN THEY ARE TIRED, ETC., AND PLEASE REMOVE THEM WHEN THEY CONTINUE TO SCREAM, RUN AROUND, ETC. THEY REALLY CAN GET HURT IN A RESTAURANT -- AND I'M STILL CONCERNED ABOUT THE RUNNING AWAY. IT ALSO IS ANNOYING TO OTHERS. BY BEING CALM/FIRM WITH CHILDREN, THEY EVENTUALLY WILL UNDERSTAND. I DON'T AGREE WITH A "GOOD SMACK ACROSS THE CHEEK" -- I DO AGREE WITH REMOVING THE CHILD FROM THE SITUATION. THE GOAL IS TO ACT IN A CALM MANNER ... NOT TO TRY TO CONTROL A CHILD WHO IS ACTING OUT WITH SLAPPING HIM/HER.

I remember when my oldest was around 4 & we were in line at the grocery store. I told him that he could not have a candy bar when we were at the check out line. Turned around just to see my son BITE THROUGH a York Peppermint Patty -- with the cover still on it. I'll never forget the smirk on his face when he said "now you will have to buy it." So ... I calmly took the candy from his hand & paid the cashier. He thought he had won. I knew this behavior was something I had to nip in the bud so ... as we were leaving, I calmly threw the candy into the garbage bin -- he was astounded ... the tears started to flow. Without a long explanation or mincing words I told him that his behavior was "disappropriate" (that's what my kids would say) and that he was never to act like that again ... or it would be a very long time until I bought him another treat. I think he mumbled something like I was the Saddam Hussein of mothers under his breath (the Gulf War was going on.) Then I was the one smurking. He's now an Eagle Scout, and doing great in college.

Thank God.

passing thru · Apr 30, 2003

I stick to my solution. Maybe you have never heard a heart-stopping, eardrum-piercing screech from a 2-3 year old.

If I heard it once, I would imprint on my kids' memory that THAT

would never be tolerated again...ever.

If I heard it again, a well placed one time smack would cure the problem in my household. And I would not hesitate to do it.

And the kids know I would not hesitate. I respect them & their feelings, they know we expect the same from them. Yes, 2 year olds, "you cannot scream at mommy, you cannot hit mommy, etc."

They know and understand basic limits.

And for those who don't care a ratz -azz about what other

people think of your kids screechin, screaming, running around

all over the restaurant, knocking everything over at the grocery store, interrupting every adult conversation, whining and fretting,.......... you will care later on....when they adopt your attitude towards other people, their rights and property.

Diana in Sweden · Apr 30, 2003

Originally posted by passing thru
[b I would imprint on my kids' memory that THAT
would never be tolerated again...ever.
If I heard it again, a well placed one time smack would cure the problem in my household. And I would not hesitate to do it. [/b]

boy I am glad I was raised non violent and have chosen to raise my two the same way .. they are 6 and 9.. never had to hit them ..

there are other ways... and I don't mean locking them up or shunning them either.. I talk to them and I yell at them sometimes and I absolutely believe in removing them when they disturb others pleasures.

My children are not always easy to deal with but they always deserve my respect, if they are not allowed to hit me why should I be allowed to hit them.

Mint Julip · Apr 30, 2003

My husband was raised with a very abusive father who took every opportunity available to crack him upside the head, punch him, slap him or throw him down. He said it felt like he was constantly walking on eggshells never knowing when or why the next blow was coming. It took him many, many painful years to forgive his father and to let him back into his life. So no we don't tolerate violence in any shape or form in our home. We want our kids to respect us, not fear us. If I come across as having a poor attitude then so be it. I won't apologize for believing that violence towards children in any capacity is wrong.