My husband works for me- is this ever going to work?

Rita Marie · Nov 6, 2005

Lori

It sounds like no matter what you do, you won't be able to please everyone. Some people just insist on being sacred cows and will complain about anything good that comes their way.

OK...so they don't want a competent LPN working in their midst...or perhaps it is the competent RN....

The couples that I know that have worked together always acted professional, they weren't sneaking off to swap spit in a closet or grab a quick one when no one was looking.

If you two behave professional while at work then it will hopefully go away. If not, you two know that you are doing the best you can. Some people just have to have something nasty to say just so they can (have something to say).

fabrick · Nov 6, 2005

lol, I was once in the position to hire my husband, ( I was desperate for staff and he on holidays) but I must have been a real ...itch because I also fired him the next day... he didnt cut it..

seems to me, if your husband is doing his job and doing it well it sounds... then leave it be.. gossip will always be there, rumours will always circulate .. but how often do you work with someone you can really depend on and know.. try and ride the wave....it won't be easy but its worth it.

pedinurse05 · Nov 6, 2005

I just wanted to get opinions... I am the RN supervisor on the 11-7 shift at a LTC facility. My husband is an LPN. He now works here on a PRN basis, and he works the night shift also. Let me first add that he is a wonderful nurse, and that I have had countless staff members tell me how much they enjoy working with him. He is always willing to help out whether it be other nurses or the CNAs. He has even fixed the cars of staff members who couldn't get them to start. He also fixes the computers here when they go down during the night shift. Ordinarily I wouldn't be comfortable with this arrangement, but in the facility the LPNs work 7p-7a while the supervisors work 8 hour shifts. Therefore noone can accuse me of favoring him when it comes to assignments as he has been assigned for 4 hours before I come in. I also do not hire or fire, that is done by the DON (who, by the way, loves having him here and thinks he is one of the best nurses working here.) Also, I tend to be harder on him so noone can get the impression that I am favoring him in the slightest. My problem is this: there are a handful of staff members who really seem to resent that he and I work together. Not many, but just a few. I keep hearing things that were said, and I know that unfounded rumors have gone around before as to favoritism.
Is there anything I can do to eliminate this? He has only been here for about 2 months, will it get better with time? I love working with him, he is dependable and caring, which makes my job easier. I just hate thinking that there are people who are so petty as to resent this situation. I didn't even hire him, my DON did- and it was her idea.
Does anyone have any ideas? Or opinions?
Lori

I have seen where one married couple works at the same place but either different shifts or floors....being his supervisor is a little strange. I guess if the facility allows it and the care provided is good and impartial it could work. I wouldn't like to be in that position. Either I or hubby would have to find a new job!

Missy

LoriAlabamaRN · Nov 7, 2005

Lori
It sounds like no matter what you do, you won't be able to please everyone. Some people just insist on being sacred cows and will complain about anything good that comes their way.
OK...so they don't want a competent LPN working in their midst...or perhaps it is the competent RN....
The couples that I know that have worked together always acted professional, they weren't sneaking off to swap spit in a closet or grab a quick one when no one was looking.
If you two behave professional while at work then it will hopefully go away. If not, you two know that you are doing the best you can. Some people just have to have something nasty to say just so they can (have something to say).

Thanks... that makes a lot of sense. I guess I do need to stop my whole "Everybody's gotta love me!" attitude and just focus on doing a good job and taking the best care of my residents that I possibly can. I love my job, and I love my husband. That puts me ahead of a lot of people already, and I am blessed. Once he finishes school (he is going for his RN) he will be working in a supervisor position at another facility, so this isn't permanent. That's actually why he is working PRN only, so that when he starts classes he can easily work around them. In the meantime, I am just going to make sure that there are no questionable events that may appear to be favoritism. I do end up being harder on him in this way, but he understands. Thank you all for your opinions- I have honestly learned a lot and it has made my decision easier- he won't be hired fulltime. Even though the DON is comfortable with it, I'm really not, and from what I have read here, there's good reason for me not to be.

Lori

**RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN** · Nov 7, 2005

I have worked with my husband when both of us were in the military. I wouldn't choose to work in a supervisory role with my husband just because it gives the APPEARANCE of nepotism. Just my opinion of course.

I agree with this. This is just my opinion as well.

BittyBabyGrower, MSN, RN · Nov 7, 2005

Where I work, spouses cannot work on the same unit. If you have say a SIL or sister, you cannot be in charge over that person. We had a situation a few years back when a flight nurse and a pilot got married...they weren't allowed on the same flights, which made a big deal since they work 24's so he ended up going to a different flight program.

I worked with my at the same place as my DH (he works in a different department) and when someone was peeved with him or his department they would gripe to me...hey, I am not his keeper. So, what would happen if something did happen on your floor and you had to discipline him, or worse yet fire him? Could you do it?

ARLadyRN · Nov 7, 2005

I worked with my sister once on an unit. We did fine, although at the time I thought that she might have been hard on me, but looking at it now she wasn't. If you have it worked out that you don't have to evaluate him, I think that it would be fine.

aduke · Nov 14, 2005

If it really bothers you, how about working different shifts?:)

DutchgirlRN, ASN, RN · Nov 14, 2005

My PCP has his FNP daughter working in his office. It's just the two of them. It seems to work out just fine. Both very professional and kept their private lives out of work. I don't think I could work with my Dad but hey it works for them.

LoriAlabamaRN · Nov 14, 2005

I worked with my at the same place as my DH (he works in a different department) and when someone was peeved with him or his department they would gripe to me...hey, I am not his keeper. So, what would happen if something did happen on your floor and you had to discipline him, or worse yet fire him? Could you do it?

Any disciplinary action would be deferred to my DON, I have already cleared that with her and she understands why I would not be comfortable doing that (people might say I was too lenient in the write-up or something). I've also told her that I want him treated as just another LPN, and that as such I will never hold anything she has to do against her or against the facility. As far as firing, I don't actually fire anybody. I have had to send people home before during the night and had them come talk to my DON the following morning at which time SHE fires them. This has only been in instances where I have observed a CNA yelling at a resident and another time when I happened to look into a room I was passing by and saw a CNA roughly yank a 2-person transfer resident into her wheelchair by herself, opening 6 (count 'em, 6!) skin tears on the poor woman. If I ever saw my husband behave like that, you'd better believe I would send him home in a heartbeat! He knows that. Nothing that happens at work will ever break up our marraige. If it starts putting a strain on it, he will quit. Period.

I really, really appreciate everyone who responded to this. It has helped a great deal. :)

Lori

LoriAlabamaRN · Nov 14, 2005

My PCP has his FNP daughter working in his office. It's just the two of them. It seems to work out just fine. Both very professional and kept their private lives out of work. I don't think I could work with my Dad but hey it works for them.

I hope that I am as professional! I work hard to be.

P.S. Every time I read one of your posts now I just melt at the avatar. Wyatt is SO beautiful! I have no children, and you are making my uterus ache! :chuckle

ZASHAGALKA, RN · Nov 14, 2005

I hope that I am as professional! I work hard to be.
P.S. Every time I read one of your posts now I just melt at the avatar. Wyatt is SO beautiful! I have no children, and you are making my uterus ache! :chuckle

I just want to point out it isn't really a matter of if you can or are being professional but the appearance/possibility that you wouldn't/couldn't be.

In ethics, it's not always about the realities of a situation, but the possibilities.

And that is why, when it comes to ethics, the key words are normally 'avoid the appearance of conflict of interest'.

~faith,

Timothy.