My husband works for me- is this ever going to work? - page 4

I just wanted to get opinions... I am the RN supervisor on the 11-7 shift at a LTC facility. My husband is an LPN. He now works here on a PRN basis, and he works the night shift also. Let me first... Read More

  1. by   LoriAlabamaRN
    Quote from Rita Marie
    Lori

    It sounds like no matter what you do, you won't be able to please everyone. Some people just insist on being sacred cows and will complain about anything good that comes their way.

    OK...so they don't want a competent LPN working in their midst...or perhaps it is the competent RN....

    The couples that I know that have worked together always acted professional, they weren't sneaking off to swap spit in a closet or grab a quick one when no one was looking.

    If you two behave professional while at work then it will hopefully go away. If not, you two know that you are doing the best you can. Some people just have to have something nasty to say just so they can (have something to say).


    Thanks... that makes a lot of sense. I guess I do need to stop my whole "Everybody's gotta love me!" attitude and just focus on doing a good job and taking the best care of my residents that I possibly can. I love my job, and I love my husband. That puts me ahead of a lot of people already, and I am blessed. Once he finishes school (he is going for his RN) he will be working in a supervisor position at another facility, so this isn't permanent. That's actually why he is working PRN only, so that when he starts classes he can easily work around them. In the meantime, I am just going to make sure that there are no questionable events that may appear to be favoritism. I do end up being harder on him in this way, but he understands. Thank you all for your opinions- I have honestly learned a lot and it has made my decision easier- he won't be hired fulltime. Even though the DON is comfortable with it, I'm really not, and from what I have read here, there's good reason for me not to be.

    Lori
  2. by   Jessy_RN
    Quote from traumaRUs
    I have worked with my husband when both of us were in the military. I wouldn't choose to work in a supervisory role with my husband just because it gives the APPEARANCE of nepotism. Just my opinion of course.
    I agree with this. This is just my opinion as well.
  3. by   BittyBabyGrower
    Where I work, spouses cannot work on the same unit. If you have say a SIL or sister, you cannot be in charge over that person. We had a situation a few years back when a flight nurse and a pilot got married...they weren't allowed on the same flights, which made a big deal since they work 24's so he ended up going to a different flight program.


    I worked with my at the same place as my DH (he works in a different department) and when someone was peeved with him or his department they would gripe to me...hey, I am not his keeper. So, what would happen if something did happen on your floor and you had to discipline him, or worse yet fire him? Could you do it?
  4. by   ARLadyRN
    I worked with my sister once on an unit. We did fine, although at the time I thought that she might have been hard on me, but looking at it now she wasn't. If you have it worked out that you don't have to evaluate him, I think that it would be fine.
  5. by   aduke
    If it really bothers you, how about working different shifts?
  6. by   DutchgirlRN
    My PCP has his FNP daughter working in his office. It's just the two of them. It seems to work out just fine. Both very professional and kept their private lives out of work. I don't think I could work with my Dad but hey it works for them.
  7. by   LoriAlabamaRN
    Quote from BittyBabyGrower
    I worked with my at the same place as my DH (he works in a different department) and when someone was peeved with him or his department they would gripe to me...hey, I am not his keeper. So, what would happen if something did happen on your floor and you had to discipline him, or worse yet fire him? Could you do it?
    Any disciplinary action would be deferred to my DON, I have already cleared that with her and she understands why I would not be comfortable doing that (people might say I was too lenient in the write-up or something). I've also told her that I want him treated as just another LPN, and that as such I will never hold anything she has to do against her or against the facility. As far as firing, I don't actually fire anybody. I have had to send people home before during the night and had them come talk to my DON the following morning at which time SHE fires them. This has only been in instances where I have observed a CNA yelling at a resident and another time when I happened to look into a room I was passing by and saw a CNA roughly yank a 2-person transfer resident into her wheelchair by herself, opening 6 (count 'em, 6!) skin tears on the poor woman. If I ever saw my husband behave like that, you'd better believe I would send him home in a heartbeat! He knows that. Nothing that happens at work will ever break up our marraige. If it starts putting a strain on it, he will quit. Period.

    I really, really appreciate everyone who responded to this. It has helped a great deal.

    Lori
  8. by   LoriAlabamaRN
    Quote from DutchgirlRN
    My PCP has his FNP daughter working in his office. It's just the two of them. It seems to work out just fine. Both very professional and kept their private lives out of work. I don't think I could work with my Dad but hey it works for them.
    I hope that I am as professional! I work hard to be.

    P.S. Every time I read one of your posts now I just melt at the avatar. Wyatt is SO beautiful! I have no children, and you are making my uterus ache! :chuckle
  9. by   ZASHAGALKA
    Quote from LoriAlabamaRN
    I hope that I am as professional! I work hard to be.

    P.S. Every time I read one of your posts now I just melt at the avatar. Wyatt is SO beautiful! I have no children, and you are making my uterus ache! :chuckle
    I just want to point out it isn't really a matter of if you can or are being professional but the appearance/possibility that you wouldn't/couldn't be.

    In ethics, it's not always about the realities of a situation, but the possibilities.

    And that is why, when it comes to ethics, the key words are normally 'avoid the appearance of conflict of interest'.

    ~faith,
    Timothy.
    Last edit by ZASHAGALKA on Nov 14, '05
  10. by   Hodge
    This has disaster written all over it. Most places do not allow a spouse in a supervisory role over another spouse. While it can work, it has the potential to be very disastrous.
  11. by   Thunderwolf
    Quote from ZASHAGALKA
    I just want to point out it isn't really a matter of if you can or are being professional but the appearance/possibility that you wouldn't/couldn't be.

    In ethics, it's not always about the realities of a situation, but the possibilities.

    And that is why, when it comes to ethics, the key words are normally 'avoid the appearance of conflict of interest'.

    ~faith,
    Timothy.
    Well said.
  12. by   grooveyredhead
    Re: My husband works for me.
    I am an RN who owns and operates an AFH (Adult Family Home). I am in the process of buying a second AFH. My partner (together 35 yrs.) and my daughter work for me. Its a family affair. We work very well together for the most part. I really could not do this without their help. However, sometimes I ask myself what the hell am I doing. When we are all under alot of stress at the same time it can be hell. Emotions run high, and everyone wants to unload. One thing I've learned is to just let everyone have his or her say even when I feel like I am right and don't really have time to listen. When I stay calm and listen it really helps to defuse the situation more quickly so that we can all get on with our very important work. Also, I just recently worked in a facility part time where there were at least 3 couples who all worked together. I don't recall there being a problem or anyone saying anything negative. As a matter of fact, because they were couples working together it appeared to me that they enjoyed their work more and conferred with each other (2 heads are better than 1) regarding their patients. I don't see the problem if you have no authority over him. Some people, unfortunately, try to find something to complain about. Ignore the gossip and the nay-sayers and enjoy your work. Peace, Granny
  13. by   ZASHAGALKA
    Quote from ttktqt
    Re: My husband works for me.
    I am an RN who owns and operates an AFH (Adult Family Home). I am in the process of buying a second AFH. My partner (together 35 yrs.) and my daughter work for me. Its a family affair. We work very well together for the most part. I really could not do this without their help. However, sometimes I ask myself what the hell am I doing. When we are all under alot of stress at the same time it can be hell. Emotions run high, and everyone wants to unload. One thing I've learned is to just let everyone have his or her say even when I feel like I am right and don't really have time to listen. When I stay calm and listen it really helps to defuse the situation more quickly so that we can all get on with our very important work. Also, I just recently worked in a facility part time where there were at least 3 couples who all worked together. I don't recall there being a problem or anyone saying anything negative. As a matter of fact, because they were couples working together it appeared to me that they enjoyed their work more and conferred with each other (2 heads are better than 1) regarding their patients. I don't see the problem if you have no authority over him. Some people, unfortunately, try to find something to complain about. Ignore the gossip and the nay-sayers and enjoy your work. Peace, Granny
    I would say being a family run business isn't the same as the thrust of this debate.

    Theorectically, anybody working for you understands that you are a family affair. If I hire into a situation w/ that understanding, that is a world of difference between having it thrust upon me.

    That's not the same as what this thread is about.

    ~faith,
    Timothy.

close