Mom needs advice please!!!

nicunana · Oct 5, 2006

No.

This is not middle school or high school. Your daughter is in training for her future life's work. She is the one who must take control of her destiny. If there is to be a conference, your daughter needs to accept responsibility for scheduling it. If she wishes to have you there for additional support, I know you wil be happy to provide it. She will never gain experience in problem solving of any kind if you jump right in and solve them for her. Remember that you will not be at the bedside with her when she must use her critical thinking skills to choose the best intervention to meet her patient's needs. Others have suggested materials that she might use to help overcome her difficulty with multiple choice questions. She apparently already feels that she is at a disadvantage by being the youngest one in her class. I can only imagine how her classmates would react toward her if they find out that Mommy is still having conferences with the teacher.

djkmc1998 · Oct 5, 2006

I am currently in LPN school right now and have somewhat the same prob...I am in a 2 yr program and I am in my 2nd year. The NCLEX-PN book helps me A LOT....she just needs to practice and practice and it will come to her. She can do it. Just tell her to relax. I know that it is stressful in nursing school, trying to keep your average up. We have to keep our average above an 80....and i have an 82 right about now. Anyway....its hard, and I do wish her the best of luck....take care :nurse:

scribblerpnp · Oct 5, 2006

I agree. I am a nursing (BSN program) instructor, and I too believe it is best if the student approach the instructor as well as get in touch with the advisors. There ARE privacy laws in place that also prevent me from giving any information about that student work, grades to the parent (even if Mom and Dad are footing the bill). Even if a student is failing my class, I cannot inform the parents. However, a student can bring a parent to a conference and give me permission to provide this information. But I would view this as unprofessional. As an instructor, I expect my students to solve their problems on their own. This is what they will have to do once they graduate, so they need to start doing it in school as well. Mom and dad can't be at the hospital when things go the wrong way.

As for the MC question difficulty, my best advice would be to buy as many board prep books as possible, study guides to the text books, and for her to use this to study. She probably does well on fill-in-the-black questions because they are definition-type questions and they usually require simple memorization of facts and terms. The MC may be harder for her because they are usually critical thinking, situational questions that require application of what she is studying (My first year BSN students have the same difficulty). Nursing questions are unlike most college exams because of the critical thinking aspect, and students who are just beginning in nursing often have problems making this adjustment. Getting board prep books would help her to develop critical thinking skills.

(I would also like to mention that as an instructor I expect students who are making failing grades to come to my office and am happy to do an individual test-review to help the student see where thier thinking was incorrect for the questions they missed.)

Agatha · Oct 5, 2006

... Before she enrolled and I paid I explained to them that she had some MC test taking problems. They told me No Worries, they had seen this before and were equppied to help. But so far no real help as come. .... I talked to the instrcutor in the beginning on the phone and she said she was reluntact to talk to me because of privacy laws. I am really confused on that one. ... Should I go ahead and schedule a meeting with the instructor or will this make my daughter look bad?

Dear Homeschool Mom,

1. You discussed this problem prior to enrolling. Now, they have your $$ and don't want to discuss it. I'd be upset and talking to someone! :madface: If they don't follow through, they're not holding up their end of the bargain they made with you when they sold you on sending your daughter to their school.

2. Privacy laws?? My son is 20 in his second year of college, and the school has no problem discussing his education with me. He is still my dependent, although paying for school himself.

3. Politely repeat your request to the instructor for additional help regarding test-taking skills for your daughter. If she tells you to go buy a book, now, go above her, reminding them of their initial promise of help. Don't approach it as the instructor doesn't care but rather as "my daughter needs help. what can you do?" (no sense in making her teacher mad at her!! :nono: ) If they offer nothing, let them know you need a refund and withdraw her. No refund?-- small claims court. You may have signed a waiver regarding tuition refunds, but it is not possible to waive your legal right to receive what they sold you!

Hopefully, this will all work out. I do agree with the other posters that your dd must learn to overcome the MC test freeze. But OTOH, the school doesn't seem to be standing behind their sales pitch.

Are you in an area with many post-secondary schools? If you must switch, choose a small one or one that's religious-based. They seem to be less cut-throat.

As far as making appointments on her behalf, maybe let her make it, but go with her. A 17-year old may not understand the ramifications of all that's said. If she were at the local university, it would be a bit different. But trade schools have much more leeway in the decisions they make, fewer policies written in stone, and less regulation. Can you find out their %-pass rate for the NCLEX? Check the state website--not theirs, the BON's site for your state. It could help you with your decision.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

Agatha--another homeschool mom. (oh, wait ... they all grew up and left home; :uhoh21: empty nest!!)

Mudwoman · Oct 5, 2006

I can't imagine that there is that much difference in nursing schools. All are required to be approved by the state board of nursing in the state they are in. All are required to prepare students to pass the NCLEX.

I know that it is hard, but you need to let her spread her wings and fly without you. Back off. You are being way overprotective.

Nursing requires that a person be able to think. She has got to be able to get through this on her on and figure it out on her own. If she doesn't and gets through the program anyway, then she is going to have difficulty in the workplace. If she wants to be a nurse bad enough, she will do what she needs to do to get through the program. A nurse has to think on her feet, think fast, adapt, think critically, see the forest AND the trees, constantly assess the situation, and punt. If she can't figure out MC questions, that is a drop in the bucket to the expectations she will face in the real world of nursing.

Let her do this on her own. You have to let go. If she graduates and is still "your little girl", then she is not going to be mature enough to do the job she is training to do.

LadyBug1029 · Oct 5, 2006

Hey, a little trick that helps a lot to prevent getting flustered when doing MC questions is to cover up the answer choices and just read the question. Have her come up with the correct answer without even looking at the choices, then uncover the choices and choose the one that is closest to the answer in your head. If she has no problem with the fill in the black format, this little trick might work.

Hope this helps, best of luck :)

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Oct 5, 2006

Purchase the Kaplan NCLEX-PN book. It has wonderful strategies on how to approach multiple choice questions. If a multiple choice question has 4 options as possible answers, this book will arm your daughter with strategies for eliminating the three incorrect answers. Good luck!

mamason · Oct 5, 2006

I agree. I am a nursing (BSN program) instructor, and I too believe it is best if the student approach the instructor as well as get in touch with the advisors. There ARE privacy laws in place that also prevent me from giving any information about that student work, grades to the parent (even if Mom and Dad are footing the bill). Even if a student is failing my class, I cannot inform the parents. However, a student can bring a parent to a conference and give me permission to provide this information. But I would view this as unprofessional. As an instructor, I expect my students to solve their problems on their own. This is what they will have to do once they graduate, so they need to start doing it in school as well. Mom and dad can't be at the hospital when things go the wrong way.
As for the MC question difficulty, my best advice would be to buy as many board prep books as possible, study guides to the text books, and for her to use this to study. She probably does well on fill-in-the-black questions because they are definition-type questions and they usually require simple memorization of facts and terms. The MC may be harder for her because they are usually critical thinking, situational questions that require application of what she is studying (My first year BSN students have the same difficulty). Nursing questions are unlike most college exams because of the critical thinking aspect, and students who are just beginning in nursing often have problems making this adjustment. Getting board prep books would help her to develop critical thinking skills.
(I would also like to mention that as an instructor I expect students who are making failing grades to come to my office and am happy to do an individual test-review to help the student see where thier thinking was incorrect for the questions they missed.)

I believe you are right on the money with the critical thinking MC questions. Takes getting used to. Nclex books really helped me with learning how to answer these questions. Great advice! Didn't mean to quote your whole post. Just don't have the quote thingy down yet.

santhony44, MSN, RN, NP · Oct 5, 2006

Hello,
Any advice would be helpful. My daughter is 17 years old and was homeschooled. She went ahead and took her GED and did well. She has wanted to be a nurse for many many years. She was unable at this age to enter an RN program and to be honest as her parent did I feel she was ready. We instead allowed her to enter a LPN program. There were 3 in our area to choose from. We decided to choose the smaller program feeling she would be better off. I wish I had done my homework on the programs but I had no idea each had its own rules. My husband and I are paying cash for her program. This has been hard but we do whatever it takes to help our children.

This might be the hardest thing for you to do, but I agree with the other posters who have said that you need to back off and let her handle it. If, at 17, she is mature enough to do the LPN program, then she needs to be mature enough to deal with her instructors herself. If she's not, then maybe she needs to be taking basic college classes or maybe working for a while.

It's hard to let go but it's time to start.

My older son is dyslexic. I was very involved in his schooling throughout and did homeschool one year. Then after he graduated from high school he went out of state to a technical program. His first semester, he failed a class.

I can tell you that the urge to go and grab the instructor by the collar and shake his teeth out was strong. The urge to call him up was strong.

I didn't. My son retook the class and passed it and didn't fail another.

I was teaching at the time, though graduate students, and hearing the BSN instructors talk about getting calls from parents was enough to convince me that letting him fail was painful but that intervening would be much worse. If you do that, she's done at that school. The fact that you're paying does not matter (I was and still am!).

Work with her at home in learning strategies to do better on MC tests, maybe as someone else suggested get an experienced nurse to work with her and talk her through the thought processes needed to do well, but stay away from the school.

And, as someone suggested, it may be that she's just not not yet at the maturity level to think critically in the way that nursing requires. If this does not work out, maybe she could try CNA training and work in that role for a while.

I can tell you that all the old cliches you hear about them stepping on your toes when they're little but on your heart when they're bigger is not just a cliche. It's true. Parenting babies and small children is hard but parenting young adult children is just as hard in different ways!

nurselala33 · Oct 6, 2006

Guilty as charged. I am what you might call a helicopter Mom because I like to hover. My daughter always says to me, "I got it Mom".....She wants me to back off and when she needs help she will ask. I also know if it is Gods call on her life to be a nurse than she will. Today she came home from school with a huge smile. There was a very difficult MC test on the heart today. 75 % of the class did not pass the test. She passed with one of the higher scores. She took the advice of someone about covering the mc answers and then answer the question then look at the choices. She also did a great presentation today in front of the class in diet for a cancer patient. Why is it so hard to let go???? I guess I just want this so bad for her because she has geared for this for years. As far as books go are funds are a little low but I have a bid on e-bay of what I was told was a great book. Its called Saunders Comprehensive Reviews for NCLEX-PN. It comes with a CD also. Anyone heard of it? Thank-You for all your help. I have much to learn about letting go. Thank-you for all your kind responses and your honestly. I needed to hear it!

mamason · Oct 6, 2006

Yes....Saunders is one of the NCLEX books I used. And the cd was also helpful while studying at home. You know, those critical thinking MC questions are hard at first. But, if you practice, like with a NCLEX book, it tends to get easier. They teach you how to answer the questions correctly. What to look for in a question to help you answer it and such. The Saunders also comes with the rationales as to why certain answers are correct. The NCLEX review books, are really a good investment whichever one you choose. They will also help prepare your daughter for boards.:wink2:

mamason · Oct 6, 2006

Oh..I forgot...I've bought used books on amazon.com. Some of the nursing books can be a little pricey if you buy them brand new. Try looking there for bargains.