Male coworkers harrassing female staff... - page 4

Hi ya'll! I have a problem... My male coworkers are like a pack of wolves. One member of the pack was recently fired due to his terrible attitude. OK. So that's one down and two to go! I have... Read More

  1. by   zenman
    We called the cops but they just laughed at us...trouble is they can't respond to threats.
    After 9/11 threats have taken on a new meaning and consequences are more severe.
  2. by   Scubadiver
    We have a very strict sexual harrassment policy at my hospital and I would imagine yours does too. Find a copy of the policy and take it with you the next time you report an incident to your manager. Also make sure you document every time an incident occurs and who you spoke to about it. I agree with the others - keep your well meaning husband out of your professional affairs - no good can come from his intervening. :angryfire If human resources is not up to intervening on your behalf then I wouldn't hesitate to discuss this with a lawyer and let your supervisors know you are doing this. If they are worth their jobs - they will take action. This 'gentleman' needs to have his hands placed in restraints - or better yet - handcuffs!
  3. by   Chaya
    This guy needs a little educating. Wonder how he'd feel if you backed him up against a wall, got right in his face, grabbed a handful of something personal and squeezed just a little too hard (OK, a lot hard, maybe with some twisting), looked him straight in the eye, and said calmly, "you know, it makes me really uncomfortable when people make insinuating comments or touch me in personal ways. Please don't". Oh, I know. Inappropriate. Right. Still, can't help thinking it would bring it home to him to be on the other side of the power balance, because this kind of crap is all about holding power over others (female co-workers).
  4. by   Tony35NYC
    "Hands" is just a jerk, and if he keeps up that attitude towards women he's gonna have problems wherever he goes after he gets fired from there.
  5. by   caffeine_simpatico
    (personal opinion and as in all personal opinions, you should make your own decisions)

    you should not feel the need to constantly notify evryone in the hospital from your boss to the ceo. if your boss is considered managment and you notified her or him on this guy's behavior, then management was notified (make a note of the date and time; plus i would have it in written form). if there was corrective action taken place and the behavior contiues, it is your obligation to notify your superior again. (make sure you are following the hospitals policy on how to report). if still you are being harassed, then it is time to talk to an attorney. let your lawyer write the letter (that ussually gets someones attention.) and keep yourself (and your irrate husband) out of it.

    i was in hr and now i am going into nursing in part because i had to deal with idiots like the man you descibed too frequently.
  6. by   nurseygrrl
    I agree with the posters who said to leave your husband out of it. If I were in your situation, I'd tell the guy the next time he reaches out to touch me, he's going to pull back a bloody stump. Set your limits and don't dance around the issue. This guy sounds like a real jackass. You need to be short and simple like 'DON'T TOUCH ME' or 'DO NOT SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT'. Try short and not-so sweet.
  7. by   Critical care rn
    [font=Comic Sans MS]Document, document, document!! File official grievences, with your manager and HR dept. Threaten a lawsuit. Keep your husband out of it. You will win in the end.
  8. by   Raggedy Ann
    :imbar I CAN HONESTLY SAY I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. A MALE NURSE I WORK WITH AND I HAVE KNOWN FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS REALLY SURPRISED ME. HE ALWAYS SEEMED VERY CRAZY ABOUT HIS WIFE AND CHILDREN, AND THAT IS WHAT I LIKED ABOUT HIM, BECAUSE I AM VERY FOND OF MY HUSBAND AND CHILDREN. ANYWAY... ABOUT 3 WEEKS AGO, I HAD TO WATCH HIM WASTE A NARC. AND HE SAID YOU KNOW WE NEED TO LIGHTEN UP AND LIVE CRAZY OR WE WILL GO INSANE. I AGREED, NOT KNOWING I WAS FEEDING INTO HIS SICK MIND. ANYWAY...I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST SMALL TALK. HE SAID, I WANT TO DO SOMETHING WILD. I JUST SMILED AND HE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID I MIGHT NEED YOUR HELP. I THOUGHT, OH BOY WHAT AM I GETTING INTO. THEN HE DROPPED THE BOMB...:uhoh21: I WANT TO GET THE TIP OF MY PENIS PIERCED. I THINK MY TEETH ABOUT FELL OUT OF MY MOUTH, AND MY FACE FELT LIKE IT WAS BURNING. I LEFT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING, BUT I HAD NEVER FELT THAT UNCOMFORTABLE. I AM NOT THE TYPE TO REPORT. I TOLD MY HUSBAND AND HE KNOWS I CAN HANDLE MYSELF. THE JERK WANTED ME TO DO THIS IN THE TX. RM. HE SAID HE KNEW HOW TO DO IT AND DID NOT WANT TO PAY $100 FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT. WELL...I WOULD NOT DO IT FOR $100. HE SAID HE COULD NOT SEE IT. MAYBE HE NEEDS TO GET AN ENLARGEMENT. LOL! ANYWAY...NOW WHEN HE SEES ME HE ACTS LIKE WE ARE BEST BUDS. I FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE. AM I OVERREACTING? I AM USUALLY NOT A STICK IN THE MUD, BUT THIS HUMILIATED ME FOR SOME REASON. ANYWAY... HAPPY NURSES WEEK EVERYONE!
  9. by   mattsmom81
    Mamanurse, I don't even want to HEAR about genital piercings in the workplace either...and he had the nerve to ask if YOU would do it???? Lordy what is wrong with some people!!!!

    Just my 2 cents: consider telling him fairly directly this was innappropriate and made you uncomfortable or IMO you have opened up a door for him. Good luck.
  10. by   Raggedy Ann
    Quote from mattsmom81
    Mamanurse, I don't even want to HEAR about genital piercings in the workplace either...and he had the nerve to ask if YOU would do it???? Lordy what is wrong with some people!!!!

    Just my 2 cents: consider telling him fairly directly this was innappropriate and made you uncomfortable or IMO you have opened up a door for him. Good luck.
    Thanks for the advice. I really appreciate it! Have a great day!
  11. by   Rita Marie
    Quote from Sgt_Chunk_Spelunker
    4-17-04


    *******,

    I want to let you know the following on behalf of myself and my husband:
    Your comments regarding my appearance are making me extremely uncomfortable and I expect this behavior to cease immediately. I am your coworker and I enjoy working with you. You perform the duties of your job in a timely and professional manner.

    In the past few months I have had to set limits with you regarding what I consider to be an invasion of my personal space. I have told you on several occasions that I consider your touching me to be completely inappropriate. There have been times when you have gone as far as to put your hands around my waist or to try to grab my hand. You know that this is inappropriate. Don't treat me any differently than you would treat a male staff member. Needless to say, I expect this never to happen again.

    I spoke to ****** a few weeks ago regarding this issue and I will be giving her a copy of this letter. I will also inform her that I believe this issue is resolved at this point. Your behavior will be the deciding factor. I have suggested to management that a sexual harrassment inservice be held at the facility. Expect to be part of this training in the near future.


    ********(the Sgt's real name & signature goes here)
    Hey Sgt CS...

    I understand what you are saying--but I agree with the others, don't even mention your husband. If you weren't married, you wouldn't have anyone to mention--so why bring it up now. I know you are mad, let him know you won't take any more his behavior any more--get angry and use that to empower yourself--in a productive way.

    And since you don't make policy--I doubt that you can actually expect him to be at an inservice regarding sexual harrassment (I thought all facilities had inservices in place by this time--your's must really be behind the times).

    Again, document each incident, use a tape recorder (or a video recorder if you can) to capture the moment, go to HR, etc. I like the words "lawsuit". It definately carries a sobering connection to it!

    Now go out there and bust this guy!
  12. by   kmchugh
    Let's see. You told him to quit, he didn't. You informed your supervisors, and nothing was done.

    Next step? LAWYER UP!! Stop prancing and hoping. Send a STRONG message, and send it NOW.

    DO NOT GIVE THE LETTER YOU HAVE WRITTEN TO YOUR COWORKER, TEAR IT UP!! It CAN be used against you. He can claim it's tone is threatening, and claim HE is in the hostile workplace. Nice, huh? He harrasses you, and you get in trouble. If there are any letters that need to be written, LET THE LAWYER WRITE THEM!

    Hope I'm not being too subtle.

    Kevin McHugh

    Edited to add: You have an absolute right not to be treated this way, and management has the responsibility to make sure you are not treated this way. They have already failed in their responsibility. Go after all of them. Now.
    Last edit by kmchugh on May 8, '04
  13. by   Havin' A Party!
    Quote from Critical care rn
    [font=Comic Sans MS]Document, document, document!... File official grievences, with your manager and HR dept...
    Correctemundo!

    But just make sure you're giving the administration a reasonable amount of time to review and act.

    Let's not forget everyone has rights and, before condemning anyone, an investigation has to take place.

    Huge error to involve your husband.
    Last edit by LarryG on May 9, '04

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