kids and parents

  1. I've noticed a lot lately that many parents with sick kids haven't a clue about good health, good health habits, or proper nutrition for their kids.

    Last wk. there was a teenage girl that came in with pneumonia. Her parents were at her bedside every minute which was good EXCEPT that they failed to provided their daughter any encouragement to help herself. They turned every learning opportunity into a, "Yea, but she doesn't......"

    At about 94 lbs. dripping wet and 5'7", I constantly heard how she wouldn't eat this, she wouldn't eat that, she likes pizza but only a nibble or two and it can't be made with any X,Y, or Z toppings. She never drinks milk but likes brand X diet soda. "Oh my no. She doesn't like water!"

    Cough and deep breath.....It's not "lady-like." Incentive Spirometer..."She can't do that."

    It just went on and on....I don't think this girl said more than 10 words of her own origination in the days she was with us.


    I've come across a lot of parents and kids like this lately.

    Is this a new thing or am I just really slow in catching on?
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  2. 23 Comments

  3. by   BSNtobe2009
    Yup, and I think my generation is to blame for it. My 2 year old eats cooked cabbage, cooked carrots, spinach, all no-sugar cereals, turnip greens, peas, the lowest sugar yogurt I can find, fish, soups, cottage cheese, plain sweet potatoes, ever fruit imaginable, and many other foods that I HATE, but I am not putting my bad eating habits on my daughter.

    I firmly believe that when children are very small, they should not be given a choice of what to eat. They will eat, for the most part, what is in front of them. When they get older, if we didn't eat what was for dinner, we didn't eat...period. The only exceptions was when they fixed a very adult meal like cabbage rolls or liver and onions.

    If children start dictating the menu, they'll eat candy forever.

    Now, that isn't to say my daughter never gets treats. We are going to a birthday party on Saturday and I'm going to let her eat cake and ice cream until she pops!

    I just feel healthy eating habits start when they are young, and they have to be TAUGHT.

    No child has ever starved themselves to death in the presence of food, so I don't 'freak out' if she goes a day and eats very little. When she is sick though, I throw my rules out the window, b/c she needs every calorie she can get down.

    Just my "old school" thoughts.
  4. by   MuddaMia
    Quote from BSNtobe2009
    Yup, and I think my generation is to blame for it. My 2 year old eats cooked cabbage, cooked carrots, spinach, all no-sugar cereals, turnip greens, peas, the lowest sugar yogurt I can find, fish, soups, cottage cheese, plain sweet potatoes, ever fruit imaginable, and many other foods that I HATE, but I am not putting my bad eating habits on my daughter.

    I firmly believe that when children are very small, they should not be given a choice of what to eat. They will eat, for the most part, what is in front of them. When they get older, if we didn't eat what was for dinner, we didn't eat...period. The only exceptions was when they fixed a very adult meal like cabbage rolls or liver and onions.

    If children start dictating the menu, they'll eat candy forever.

    Now, that isn't to say my daughter never gets treats. We are going to a birthday party on Saturday and I'm going to let her eat cake and ice cream until she pops!

    I just feel healthy eating habits start when they are young, and they have to be TAUGHT.

    No child has ever starved themselves to death in the presence of food, so I don't 'freak out' if she goes a day and eats very little. When she is sick though, I throw my rules out the window, b/c she needs every calorie she can get down.

    Just my "old school" thoughts.
    Yeah, I agree. I am guilty to a degree of creating the picky eaters I am raising. The other day I got fed up, decided to take the advice of the experts..and sent my 9 year old to bed without eating b/c she didnt like the dinner I had prepared.

    The next morning while I was braiding her hair..she fainted. Scared the crap out of me! LOL

    We had pizza for dinner that night

    sigh.....
  5. by   snowfreeze
    Some parents just need ativan.
  6. by   banditrn
    I'm kind of a picky eater - and I had to eat everything my mother put in front of me! There are many things I won't allow in my house because of being forced to 'clean my plate'.
    As an adult, I asked my kids to try it, but if they didn't like it, they didn't have to eat it.

    I see adults put so MUCH on a childs plate - how can they expect them to eat all that food?

    I just think you need to have a good variety - and not a lot of junk stuff.
  7. by   purplemania
    some parents feel so out of control that they are looking for another excuse other than poor parenting. Why don't you just give her a "pill" and let her go home??? Some people want instant wellness.
  8. by   hogan4736
    Quote from BSNtobe2009
    Yup, and I think my generation is to blame for it. My 2 year old eats cooked cabbage, cooked carrots, spinach, all no-sugar cereals, turnip greens, peas, the lowest sugar yogurt I can find, fish, soups, cottage cheese, plain sweet potatoes, ever fruit imaginable, and many other foods that I HATE, but I am not putting my bad eating habits on my daughter.

    I firmly believe that when children are very small, they should not be given a choice of what to eat. They will eat, for the most part, what is in front of them. When they get older, if we didn't eat what was for dinner, we didn't eat...period. The only exceptions was when they fixed a very adult meal like cabbage rolls or liver and onions.

    If children start dictating the menu, they'll eat candy forever.

    Now, that isn't to say my daughter never gets treats. We are going to a birthday party on Saturday and I'm going to let her eat cake and ice cream until she pops!

    I just feel healthy eating habits start when they are young, and they have to be TAUGHT.

    No child has ever starved themselves to death in the presence of food, so I don't 'freak out' if she goes a day and eats very little. When she is sick though, I throw my rules out the window, b/c she needs every calorie she can get down.

    Just my "old school" thoughts.
    Excellent post...

    There are many factors in play, but I belive parent laziness is near the top of the list...

    Someone chastised me once for drinking a soda in front of my kids, and not sharing!

    That's what we're dealing with...

    parents will tell you they have no time...
    A crockpot meal takes 15 minutes to prepare...Make a lot, and you have leftovers all week...Cooking for the family is easy...If I can do it, anyone can
  9. by   Gompers
    Quote from MuddaMia
    Yeah, I agree. I am guilty to a degree of creating the picky eaters I am raising. The other day I got fed up, decided to take the advice of the experts..and sent my 9 year old to bed without eating b/c she didnt like the dinner I had prepared.

    The next morning while I was braiding her hair..she fainted. Scared the crap out of me! LOL

    We had pizza for dinner that night

    sigh.....
    When I complained about what my mom made for dinner, instead of sending me to bed without it she'd tell me to make myself a bowl of cereal or PB&J and eat that. She wouldn't do it for me, but at least I got something to eat and it taught me a lesson.
  10. by   RunnerRN
    Drives me crazy when parents bring their kids in (I'm talking adolescents....15 and up) and talk about them. I have actually stopped an assessment and said to the kid "You're 16, I want to hear from YOU" Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.
  11. by   kidznurse
    I did an assessment for a medical research project on a 4year old. She had severe dental caries, and was well overweight for age- 30kg plus. Had been hospitalised in 1st 4 years x 5 , for mostly acute respiratory illness. Her diet consisted of- no veges, no fruit, all high fat processed foods like McDonalds, hash bowns and fish fingers, no milk, no water, only juice and soda to drink. Loads of sugar in daily amounts of candy... Because that's what she as a 4 year old wanted . Her 19 year old mother was happy as long as the child was happy ... that the child was systematically being poisoned and would be at least seriously ill if not dead with diabetes/ heart disease/ or chronic lung disease by the age of 30 was immaterial as the mother wasonly concerned with what the child wanted today. Sometime it '"takes a village to raise a child" and nurses are ther representative of the village- we need to advocate for children.
  12. by   MuddaMia
    Quote from Gompers
    When I complained about what my mom made for dinner, instead of sending me to bed without it she'd tell me to make myself a bowl of cereal or PB&J and eat that. She wouldn't do it for me, but at least I got something to eat and it taught me a lesson.
    My kids would then have cereal every night!
  13. by   MrsCannibal
    Quote from Gompers
    When I complained about what my mom made for dinner, instead of sending me to bed without it she'd tell me to make myself a bowl of cereal or PB&J and eat that. She wouldn't do it for me, but at least I got something to eat and it taught me a lesson.
    I think that your Mom and I went to the same School for Meanie Moms! I think my kids are d*** lucky to have parents who cook, and so they are required to take one bite before they can say "I don't like this!". Then they may fix themselves a PB&J or cereal. They rarely get fast food (we live in Europe, fast food isn't as prevalent over here), and as I tell them, "suck it up and get over it, you joined my life in progress, you will learn to live with the disappointment of not getting what you want 24/7!"
    As for the original post, I think it is a crying shame that kids aren't allowed to figure out how to be adults, and are instead coddled and babied by parents. When my kids are addressed, I expect them to answer, whether we are at a restaurant or doctor's appointment. It is embarassing to see teens reduced to acting like toddlers because they aren't allowed to act like adults, and they don't have a clue how to grow up.
    Last edit by MrsCannibal on Dec 19, '07 : Reason: typo
  14. by   RNperdiem
    Nutrition was simpler when there was less choice. Snack food was once an expensive treat to be bought very occasionally.
    I am a lifelong picky eater. Now I have kids and need to lead by example. They make fun of their Dad because Dad puts milk in his cereal.

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