I want to like my preceptor, but...

Nurses General Nursing

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No, I'm not here complaining about NETY or any form of eating. Lol! :D I am a couple days into my preceptorship & it has been going well, I'm just not fond of my preceptor. I find her teaching methods harsh & direct. I'm not a new nurse, hell, I've been a nurse longer than her! So obviously I don't need a lot of coaching or hand holding since I'm just new to the hospital.

I try to joke around with her & nothing, just straight faced. I get text book lectures & how everything is *suppose* to be, when I know this is the real world & doesn't go by the book. She also tells me to do this & that which gets under my skin. I can't tell you why, it just does. Lol.

We had a pt. admitted for chest pain & ETOH withdrawal. She was young & I was trying to gain her trust, especially since she really didn't want to be there & was talking about signing out AMA. I can gauge people & how to talk to them, so I dropped the f-bomb infront of my preceptor. Obviously this was a special case & I don't cuss in front of *every* patient. But by the end of my shift, she was very relaxed & stayed. She was more relaxed with me than she was with my preceptor. I know you have to speak to every patient differently. But holy COW did I get an earful after that.

My preceptor will come up to me & tell me to go do this, go do that. Instead of asking me what have I done & explaining what needs to be done next, she just spouts off a list of crap that needs to be done then walks off. Generally when I'm in the middle of something. I'm not your *****, I'm your preceptee. I'm here to learn & I can't learn if you just tell me to do the crap you don't wanna do. I can tell that's just the way she.

She does knows a lot but man. Lol. I was with two different preceptors before I started with her & they were great! But then when I started with her I was really bummed out. Hahahahah! :D I know it's not permanent so I'm just gonna suck it up & just keep swimming.

Specializes in ED, Pedi Vasc access, Paramedic serving 6 towns.

Hi,

My feeling is, is that your preceptor does not want to be a preceptor and maybe was forced to do it. Also it could be that you two are just not a good match, and maybe you should request to change. Don't say negative things about her, just tell your nurse manager it's just not a good match.

Also, in my opinion as a nurse you are the professional and should never swear at anyone while at work, as it just makes you look very unprofessional and untrustworthy, and you need patients and families to trust you.

Annie

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Hi,

My feeling is, is that your preceptor does not want to be a preceptor and maybe was forced to do it. Also it could be that you two are just not a good match, and maybe you should request to change. Don't say negative things about her, just tell your nurse manager it's just not a good match.

Also, in my opinion as a nurse you are the professional and should never swear at anyone while at work, as it just makes you look very unprofessional and untrustworthy, and you need patients and families to trust you.

Annie

I don't know if it is possible to get a new preceptor because there are so many new hires right now.

I think rkitty198 summarized it best. I don't think the patient saw me as unprofessional and I know she didn't see me as untruthworthy. Her fiancé really trusted me & so did she by the end of my shift. Of course if there were kids in the room I wouldn't have cussed but to me, this was a different situation. Every person & situation is unique.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Hi,

My feeling is, is that your preceptor does not want to be a preceptor and maybe was forced to do it. Also it could be that you two are just not a good match, and maybe you should request to change. Don't say negative things about her, just tell your nurse manager it's just not a good match.

Also, in my opinion as a nurse you are the professional and should never swear at anyone while at work, as it just makes you look very unprofessional and untrustworthy, and you need patients and families to trust you.

Annie

Sadly, asking for a new preceptor can backfire on you. As long as the preceptor isn't throwing you under the bus, neglecting to teach or sexually harassing you, do your best to get along. My manager views getting along with the preceptor you're given and learning from that preceptor to be a test of how you're going to get along with people in general. It's a black mark against you if you ask for a different preceptor.

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Specializes in LTC and Pediatrics.

I have had the opposite of you when starting my job. Some of the nurses seemed to think that since I was older I had years of nursing experience when I haven't even had 3 years. Once they realized this, they started teaching me about situations instead of b******g at me. Where I work, orientation was very short, but still learning about procedures and the facility idiosyncrasies. I am in my third month and finally getting settled in. Hang in there and you will soon be on your own, with the support of this nurse and others.

You are right in that she is evaluating you and as you show you are able to do it, she is backing off. The goal is to get you ready to be on your own.

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Sadly, asking for a new preceptor can backfire on you. As long as the preceptor isn't throwing you under the bus, neglecting to teach or sexually harassing you, do your best to get along. My manager views getting along with the preceptor you're given and learning from that preceptor to be a test of how you're going to get along with people in general. It's a black mark against you if you ask for a different preceptor.

That's another reason why I wouldn't ask. I never even thought about asking for a different preceptor. I have to get along with everyone, they are my coworkers. I don't have to be my best friends but I have to be able to work with them. So why ask for a new preceptor? That would just make me look like I can't work well with my fellow coworkers & I don't want that.

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.

I could see how they would think that but it's not right. I always ask someone first, you never know how long someone has been a nurse & you might be surprised! My NM has only been a nurse for 17 years.

I think it's the way my preceptor comes off because sometimes I feel like she's so sweet but then can feel abrasive. I don't know, I've also never had a real orientation like this either. Lol! :D

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She sounds fed up with being a nurse, due to training you for free and being underappreciated. Not uncommon, and no, it doesn't make it right. I have never been a preceptor. For some reason I never am asked and I am glad. It takes a special type of person to do that type of job. Some of my harshest preceptors have been my greatest, looking back at it now.

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I could see how they would think that but it's not right. I always ask someone first, you never know how long someone has been a nurse & you might be surprised! My NM has only been a nurse for 17 years.

I think it's the way my preceptor comes off because sometimes I feel like she's so sweet but then can feel abrasive. I don't know, I've also never had a real orientation like this either. Lol! :D

I think I know what you're saying. Sometimes people with abrasive personalities can get off as mean, even when they are not trying to be lol.

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Specializes in M/S, Pulmonary, Travel, Homecare, Psych..

Any other Game of Thrones fans here?

"Everything that comes before but doesn't count."

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
She sounds fed up with being a nurse, due to training you for free and being underappreciated. Not uncommon, and no, it doesn't make it right. I have never been a preceptor. For some reason I never am asked and I am glad. It takes a special type of person to do that type of job. Some of my harshest preceptors have been my greatest, looking back at it now.

If she's fed up with being a nurse after only 3 years, I'd hate to see her after 6, 12 & so on. Yikes!

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I think I know what you're saying. Sometimes people with abrasive personalities can get off as mean, even when they are not trying to be lol.

Yes. I don't think she's *trying* to be mean, I think it maybe her gruff personality.

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