How does it make you feel? - page 6

How does it make you feel when you find out your patient is a nurse? I feel deceived... Trust me this is one of my favorite patients and I'm just curious as to why she didn't tell me. She still... Read More

  1. by bratmobile
    Dec 8, '11
    Hi, I can tell you why I never spoke about being a nurse when I went through a severe health crisis and several surgeries..Often times as a student nurse and working nurse I saw that when the nurse became the patient and the staff knew,,, anytime questions were raised she was perceived as a "know it all"..if a mistake was made and she pointed it out (and face it, mistakes happen at some point every day) she was a problem not a patient.. also, other times I saw nurse patients who had self diagnosed anything or used medical lingo were seen as hypochondriacs..and still another reason is that as a nurse I know that it can be intimdating to work on another nurse or doctor.(my first ever IV placement was on a doc having a heart attack in the ER, I think I almost had one along with him).it really can create anxiety for your caregiver. I felt it was in my own best interest to just let people do their jobs, monitor things quietly and keep a low profile
  2. by Isitpossible
    Dec 8, '11
    it just saddens me that she is not concerned about her wellbeing

    maybe thats why she didnt disclose thats shes a nurse...is there a higher standard for her? should she be more concerned about her health than the layperson just b/c she happens to be a nurse? just trying to understand it from her perspective...
  3. by Butterfliesnroses
    Dec 8, '11
    I remember my 1st qtr of nursing school I was hospitalized. I didn't divulge I was a nursing student bc it wasn't imperative for my care. However one of my classmates told my nurse that I was a nursing student. She asked me about it and I said I was. I felt an attitude shift at that point. Well then my next nurse came in and ?? me if I was a nursing student.

    Also I don't divulge that I'm a nurse in care situations. Though ppl often guess I am in the healthcare field bc of my understanding of what is going on and bc of the medical lingo I will sometimes use (out of habit). If ?? I answer honestly but it's not something I come out and say.
  4. by kids
    Dec 8, '11
    Quote from x4livin
    I would not feel decieved. I have had this happen, and I react with "Cool! That makes explaining your plan of care a whole lot easier".
    It shouldn't make it easier.
    Healthcare providers as patients are entitled to the same education (and care) that a lay person is.
  5. by jimthorp
    Dec 8, '11
    Quote from prettymica
    I agree I think I have become emotionally bonded and yes I do wonder I she has been evaluating me at every visit. Also it is her right to tell or not to tell me I am not denying that fact and I always give my patients the best care to my ability regardless of the profession. I will state that she did say something this past week once that puzzled me and my curiosity wanted to ask her last occupation. But without question I just think I feel this way because of all the personal things she shares that I don't ask and the personal things that she has asked of me... It just puzzled me that she would skip that subject, and she has all rights too.. I have no intentions of telling her that I know, if she wants to tell me I'm sure she will.. I just feel indifferent..

    Feeling indifferent or deceived? They are not the same thing.

    I don't know why anyone would feel deceived if certain personal information is not shared with them by another except perhaps in close interpersonal relationships but even then some skeletons need not be shared neccesarily.
  6. by prettymica
    Dec 8, '11
    Quote from jimthorp
    Feeling indifferent or deceived? They are not the same thing.

    I don't know why anyone would feel deceived if certain personal information is not shared with them by another except perhaps in close interpersonal relationships but even then some skeletons need not be shared neccesarily.

    never said they were the same.. but I have a right to feel more than one emotion at the same time . love your reply so far one of the best!
  7. by rn/writer
    Dec 8, '11
    "Deceived" is a loaded word that implies wrongdoing. Maybe that's why some of us are saying you may have crossed a line. The reaction might have been different had you said you felt confused or puzzled.

    Patients are free to tell us as much or as little as they choose to about themselves and their lives. If they get to the point where their confidences or their invitations/expectations get to be too personal or too much, it's up to us to say that the subject matter is making us feel a little uncomfortable. Not in a judgmental way, of course, but we, as the professionals, are the ones who need to be aware of the boundaries.

    We also have to remember that therapeutic relationships are, by their very nature, unequal. The patients are not our peers. Technically, they are not primarily our friends, although there can be friendly behavior. Why is this the case? Because true friendship involves give and take, reciprocity, and taking turns meeting each other's needs. This should not be happening in a therapeutic relationship.

    Should we remain cold and distant in the name of being professional? No. That's just silly. But there needs to be an understanding that, while there can be mutual affection, there can't be the kind of obligation that friendship entails. We can't ever expect our patients to take care of us or our feelings. We can set boundaries in areas where there is inappropriate behavior, but that should be done on the basis of healthy limit setting, not because of hurt feelings.

    Previous posters have mentioned a number of reasons why your patient may not have mentioned that she was a nurse--she may be ashamed of her health problems, especially if she hasn't take good care of herself; she may not want you to feel nervous or like she's watching and evaluating your every move; she may be concerned that you won't explain things in detail because you'll think she already understands everything about her care; or some combination of the above.

    I'd encourage you to just accept her as she is and maybe monitor your thoughts to see if perhaps you are either a little over-attached or looking at her as a friend (who kind of disappointed you by not revealing her former profession) rather than as a friendly patient.
    Last edit by rn/writer on Dec 8, '11
  8. by jimthorp
    Dec 8, '11
    Quote from prettymica
    never said they were the same.. but I have a right to feel more than one emotion at the same time . love your reply so far one of the best!
    Feeling indifferent and decieved is contradictory.
  9. by prettymica
    Dec 8, '11
    Once again.. the question was how would you feel..not decipher my posts .. and it can be very well contradictory.. is that wrong of me?
  10. by psu_213
    Dec 8, '11
    Quote from prettymica
    Once again.. the question was how would you feel..not decipher my posts .. and it can be very well contradictory.. is that wrong of me?
    No one is saying that you wrong....and you are certainly able to have 2 contradictory feelings at the same time. I think people are a bit confused as to why you are feeling deceived. I don't think anyone has said that you cannot feel that way; they are saying that they would not feel that way and point out the danger of reacting with the feelings that you had.
  11. by netglow
    Dec 8, '11
    Just figure you are best in treating all your patients similarly.

    I'm not the type to tell.
  12. by leslie :-D
    Dec 8, '11
    is this pt of yours, a hospice pt?

    leslie
  13. by prettymica
    Dec 8, '11
    Nope..

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