How do you stay positive about your career?

  1. I've been struggling for quite some time.

    Do I like what I do? Yes. In fact, most days I love it.

    Do I hate my schedule? Sure I do. I hate working weekends and holidays and missing out.

    The main issue is my boyfriend, who I now live with. I get guilt tripped for missing things on weekends. I constantly have his mother trying to get me to switch shifts for family events. They think I can just say "nah, don't feel like working this weekend." It's stressful.

    Another thing, lately our census has been low so they've been calling off nurses. I pretty much always accept it. It's not affecting our vacations, it's not affecting my pay drastically. I get the guilt trip from the boyfriend. He acts angry and then tells me he's jealous I'm off and he's going to work.

    I feel like it's lose-lose. I've seriously considered getting an office job or otherwise, just to get rid of the scheduling conflicts. This major issue has been getting in the way of my love for nursing.

    How do you all deal? How do you keep the positive thinking going about your job when there's negativity nagging at you?
  2. Visit Jw1724 profile page

    About Jw1724

    Joined: Nov '07; Posts: 251; Likes: 87


  3. by   bioniclewoman
    I struggle with that sometimes. Don't have any answers for you. I just hope that in the future I will be in a postion I like better and won't have these feelings.
  4. by   DizzyLizzyNurse
    It seems the main problem is your boyfriend and his nosy mother. I had a similar problem with a previous boyfriend and his nosy mother. You seem to have accepted the downsides of nursing as just part of the job. How long have you guys been together? It ended up not working out between me and my ex because he just could not accept that I didn't work a M-F 9-5 like he did. Good luck. I know first hand how sucky this situation is.
  5. by   lovinlife11
    Nursing is nursing, we have to take the good with the not so good. I agree with the previous poster, it doesn't sound like your boyfriend is so supportive of your career choices. Nursing is 24/7, we just have to live with it
  6. by   Jw1724
    We've been together for a year now, and are absolutely in love and it is the best relationship I have ever experienced. Until schedules come up!
  7. by   DizzyLizzyNurse
    I'd have a heart to heart. Your schedule is not going to change. He's just going to have to accept it and if he can't it's probably not going to work out. I mean, you don't have to be that harsh, but it's reality. The job is hard enough without our friends and families taking it personally about something we can't change. My mother got really mad at me for missing Christmas, but I just told her there was no point in getting mad and unless she was planning on supporting my fired butt, I'd have to work Christmas lol.
  8. by   Jw1724
    I think part of the issue is MY dislike of my schedule. I definitely think he feeds off of that energy so maybe I need to make a better effort to accept the suckiness of it.
  9. by   Aurora77
    Quote from Jw1724
    I think part of the issue is MY dislike of my schedule. I definitely think he feeds off of that energy so maybe I need to make a better effort to accept the suckiness of it.
    If you're miserable, start looking for a job with hours that you do like. Until then, tell them to back off, that they're making things worse for you. Hospital nursing involves taking the bad schedules with the good.

    Try planning fun events for the weekends/holidays that you are off. Instead of focusing on what you don't like, focus on the good. Until you find a different position, the best thing you can does shift your attitude.
  10. by   jgr1001nurse
    If neither one of you like your schedule, find a job with a different one. That is one of the beauties of being a nurse - there are jobs to accommodate just about any schedule you want. There are clinics that work M-F, 9-5 and holidays off. The pay will probably be less, but that is what is given up for a more "normal" schedule.
    It's all about what is more important to you. If the relationship is more important than the current job, find a new job. Don't just chuck the whole nursing career. Tell him to be patient and get to looking.
  11. by   Nurse ABC
    I think you're very lucky to have found a job you love most days esp in nursing!!! Sure the schedule isn't the greatest but it does have it's positives. How many other jobs can you get extra days off all the time? If his family wants you there so bad why don't they plan activities when you're off and can be there? Mine does. I would talk to them and ask that instead of making you feel bad try to plan things when you're off. Also, you yourself said you like taking the extra days off since it's not really affecting your pay but because your boyfriend gets angry and jealous you want to find a different job! I would not change jobs because he gets jealous. Seriously-that's just immature from his part. If you're always complaining then yes he's going to complain too. Have you ever worked five days a week? It's not all it's cracked up to be. Your still tired and you have less free time. I left a job I loved for a normal schedule and always regretted it. I didn't like the job as well, didn't like working five days a week, made less money, and didn't like that I couldn't go part-time after having a baby. I would've much rather been able to work one or two longs days and then had the rest of the week off to spend with my baby but I couldn't do that where I was. My advice to you is either look at the positives and project a better attitude by not complaining and embrace what you love about your job or actively seek to find a position with better hours. Good luck!
  12. by   hiddencatRN
    Quote from Jw1724
    We've been together for a year now, and are absolutely in love and it is the best relationship I have ever experienced. Until schedules come up!
    What about when the next stressful thing comes up? There are always stressors. Having to plan around a weekend commitment is a pretty minor one.

    If you hate your schedule, try to find a better one. In the meantime it sounds like you need to have a "come to Jesus" talk with your boyfriend about making the best of your schedule while it is what it is.
  13. by   tokmom
    How happy were you in your career before BF came along?

    Look ahead in the future.. Throw in kids and working holidays and weekends. Is he going to be mad about having to be taking care of the kids while you work?

    Nursing takes some flexibility, as does being a fireman's or policeman's spouse. People shouldn't marry these professions unless they are willing to be forgiving because the person HAS to work.

    I bet your mom and boyfriend would be happy to know that a hospital was open on a weekend or holiday if they really needed it. Somebody has to keep it open and we all have to rotate our turn.

    My husband and I are both RN's. (He his now on medical leave and will never go back to nursing). When we were both nurses, rarely did we both have the same holidays off. Some years we had Xmas Eve, others Christmas day. Thanksgiving would fall on a Wed, Thur OR Fri. Family understood and accomodated us if they could. We did this while juggling a large family.

    This year, I work the 3 days before Thanksgiving and the day of. Our Thanksgiving will be on Friday. I'm trying to be positive. I'm planning a finger food meal for Thanksgiving day at work and Friday, after shopping, I will place a turkey in the oven, and kick back with a glass of wine and chill. It will be a nice time, because I will make it that way.
  14. by   Good Morning, Gil
    Sounds like you need a new boyfriend. The lose-lose situation has to do with your boyfriend and his mother whining and guilt-tripping you. Get out of that relationship STAT.

    Tell him that if he would like your schedule, he can become a nurse (when he complains about you getting called off for low census when he has to work lol).

    Your stress is not from your schedule; your stress is from your boyfriend, at least from what you posted here.