How do you stay positive about your career?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I've been struggling for quite some time.

Do I like what I do? Yes. In fact, most days I love it.

Do I hate my schedule? Sure I do. I hate working weekends and holidays and missing out.

The main issue is my boyfriend, who I now live with. I get guilt tripped for missing things on weekends. I constantly have his mother trying to get me to switch shifts for family events. They think I can just say "nah, don't feel like working this weekend." It's stressful.

Another thing, lately our census has been low so they've been calling off nurses. I pretty much always accept it. It's not affecting our vacations, it's not affecting my pay drastically. I get the guilt trip from the boyfriend. He acts angry and then tells me he's jealous I'm off and he's going to work.

I feel like it's lose-lose. I've seriously considered getting an office job or otherwise, just to get rid of the scheduling conflicts. This major issue has been getting in the way of my love for nursing.

How do you all deal? How do you keep the positive thinking going about your job when there's negativity nagging at you?

Specializes in Rehab, critical care.

Sounds like you need a new boyfriend. The lose-lose situation has to do with your boyfriend and his mother whining and guilt-tripping you. Get out of that relationship STAT.

Tell him that if he would like your schedule, he can become a nurse (when he complains about you getting called off for low census when he has to work lol).

Your stress is not from your schedule; your stress is from your boyfriend, at least from what you posted here.

I agree with Gil, dump the boyfriend and his family can go with him.

ALWAYS think this way: You need to think of yourself first, unless you have small children at home. Other adults come last in your personal equation. People come and go, but you always have to be able to work and support yourself. Never change your life to the point where you sacrifice your job or your career for another adult.

I came looking for advice and got told to dump my boyfriend. I didn't ask to find a new job, etc. I'm asking for advice on ways to stay positive about a crappy (yes I agree with him) schedule. I love my job. I don't plan to leave it. I'm looking for ENCOURAGING words.

Totally inappropriate to come on here, never having met me, and tell me to just "get rid of him." Not happening. We've had plenty of "stressors" much larger than this. And I guarantee other nurses have run across this same issue and haven't just "gotten rid" of their significant others. No wonder why divorce rates are so high.

Hey, lighten up. Your post sounds like you need the advice people gave you, AND IT WAS FREE ADVICE. Sheesh, don't go off all entitled on us.

entitled?

I was asking for encouragement from one professional to another and got a bunch of relationship advice in response. Which was pretty crappy relationship advice, if you ask me. I don't just give up on someone I love because I'm not selfish, and I can see where his frustration comes in as well.

Specializes in Med/Surg, Academics.

Hold on. People are reacting to your first post in which YOU stated that the MAIN ISSUE is your BOYFRIEND! His expectations, his getting upset about your days off when he doesn't have one, his mother expecting you to change your schedule for family events.

You're surprised that you're getting relationship advice? Your OP was all about your relationship.

To me, the only answer is new boyfriend or new job. The choice is up to you.

ETA: Third choice. Stay where you are and deal with your whiney boyfriend. And his mother.

Specializes in 4.

Nursing is a job that doesn't have "set" schedules unless you get a job at a clinic or Dr's office. Other than that this is what you signed up for. There are plenty of nurses who would trade places with you in a heartbeat. I would try talking to my boyfriend & go from there. This is your life & your career. He can either support you or ? The choice is yours & no one else's. You are the one who has to live with the consequences.

It sounds like you are not the one with the problem.

It sounds like your boyfriend is the one who is jealous of your job when you get time off, doesn't like the days or hours you work etc.

His problems are his problems, leave him to deal with it.

You want positive? You are employed in an economy where lots of people are out of work. You have meaningful, well-compensated skills that you can use to support yourself. You get days off to handle errands and other business when other people in 9-5 jobs have to leave chores until the weekend.

Specializes in Rehab, critical care.

I don't jump at divorce or splitting up when a relationship is worth keeping; I am married and love my husband and would not just give up in the tough times. However, I married a good guy, and you're not married. From what you posted, your boyfriend doesn't sound like he's worth keeping. Maybe he's the best guy in the world, but you portrayed him as not supportive and making you feel guilty for things you cannot control.

A good man is supportive, and doesn't manipulate. My husband is happy when I get called off (on the rare occasion that I do) because he knows I look forward to it, and while working nights/weekends/holidays is a sacrifice on our time together, he realizes that I'm helping those that need it, is encouraging, and encouraged me to pursue nursing knowing the schedule involved because he thought I'd be an awesome nurse.

Best of luck to you.

It sounds like you are not the one with the problem.

It sounds like your boyfriend is the one who is jealous of your job when you get time off, doesn't like the days or hours you work etc.

His problems are his problems, leave him to deal with it.

You want positive? You are employed in an economy where lots of people are out of work. You have meaningful, well-compensated skills that you can use to support yourself. You get days off to handle errands and other business when other people in 9-5 jobs have to leave chores until the weekend.

Thank you for the response. I appreciate the positive points, without the immediate 'get rid of him' attitude.

We've had talks about all of this before. We had another recently. He is being more positive about it and did say he is just jealous and wishes he could have the time off with me. (Id feel the same... I think thats human).

He agreed that he needs to be more understanding and less jealous etc. I had not confronted his mother about it all but did this past weekend. She felt bad, and promised to keep track of how she is handling things... big italian family, they want EVERYONE there so it's hard for her to feel like shes "leaving me out." Anyways, I think things will get better.

To everyone with positive encouraging advice- Thank you!

Specializes in Peds Medical Floor.

I'm glad you were able to talk to them. I hope it helps.

Specializes in Prior military RN/current ICU RN..

First off..there are MILLIONS of people in the world. If your boyfriend won't stand up to his mommy for you maybe you need to find someone who will. I have zero patience for that no backbone approach. You work hard and you don't have to explain anything to his "mommy". If you want to feel guilty about something feel guilty about dating someone who wont tell him mommy to bug off. You have NO REASON to feel guilty about anything. It is called a career and you have responsibility to your employer, co workers, and patients. Not some dudes "mommy".

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