How do you work with a ***** ??? - page 4

I need advice...I work med/surg, and if we miss a scheduled weekend, we have to make it up. Well, guess what. My makeup weekend is working "with" the biggest ***** I've ever seen. I am so... Read More

  1. by   soundsLikesirens
    A cross? I was thinking of a STAKE, actually.......
  2. by   Charles S. Smith, RN, MS
    Originally posted by soundsLikesirens:
    A cross? I was thinking of a STAKE, actually.......
    Have you considered the possibility that you might be giving her a lot of power over you by dreading your weekend with her?...the more energy you use up worrying about her, the less you have for yourself and other endeavors. Fear/dread/worry usually ends up fueling a self-fulfilling prophecy. What would it like for you to turn off the dread and actually go in to work confident in your abilities to handle the situation as it arises?

    regards
    chas
  3. by   nursejanedough
    Sirens, if I was still a psych nurse, I would have to chart that you have homicidal ideations. Just kidding, really. The older I get, the less I know or understand, it seems. I love that Andy Griffith show where Opie had a bully coming after him. His father was telling him to just to ignore and make peace, I think. But Barney was teaching him how to fight. I think it ended with Opie finally fighting the bully, but Opie ended up with a black eye, also. Charles is also right. Sometimes, just ignoring and trying to make peace works, too. I have done both. I have had to work with mean, spiteful people. What has worked best for me (it makes me happier, I'm a people pleaser) is to act like an idiot,(not hard to do), and pretend to ignore their ugly comments or actions and act like their best friend. If you do this so many times, they think, "Is he/she screwy or am I?" Usually, I end up befriending this person and if they like or respect me, I can end up teaching them something about how to treat patients or fellow co-workers better. Of course, some people, (maybe vampires), just need a good black eye or maybe a stake.
  4. by   Aussie Student
    Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.
    Your story about the nurse from hell reminds me of the ******* that I have had to work w/ during my clinicals for university.
    What is it w/ some nurses and their attitudes towards students? Are they threatened by upcoming enthusiasm?
    I feel for you my friend, and trust that this ***** will soon be put out to pasture.


    ------------------
    Cat
    xoxox
  5. by   soundsLikesirens
    It's over...oh thank God..over for now, anyway...I went into work last night...one of the RNs said they'd called up staffing and an RN was going to have to be pulled to another floor (not necessarily me) but I jumped at the chance to get off the floor. I worked there from 7p to 11p...then I got pulled to another, different floor from 11p to 3am...whereupon, unfortunately I had to go to my "home" floor and "face the music". Godzilla really didn't bother me but it sucked just the same. Guess who had the most patients???? I spent my 11p - 3am time on the other floor doing midnight meds AND all the MARs for the entire floor...which was ok by me....then I get down there and my MARs for the module I am taking aren't even done....so I "get" to do them. (We have a RN who's doing 3p to 3a) and I took her module.....anyway......I had 12 patients, and I walked into a mess....no one was in charge....I had 12 patients....the other 2 RNs had 9 and 10 or 9 and 9...I came down at 3am...no MARs done for me, no worksheet ready...nothing.....I was in report and my CNA kept interrupting to tell me so-and-so needed a pain pill/shot....the other RNs wouldn't even give my pain meds while I was in report!!!!!! They TOTALLY do not work together as a team, they don't help each other and basically, as far as I can see, DON'T GIVE A ****. There was a RN there who'd clocked in as charge, but you'd never know it. We didn't have an actual "clinical leader" but she was supposed to be charge nurse. I could go on and on but you get the idea....it was nearly 5:30 when I got my MARs done....I had 8 fingersticks at 6am so I had to start immediately on that...most of them got coverage, so it took me to nearly 6:30am...time then to start my 6am meds!!!!! It was AWFUL... I was supposed to work again tonight but you know what? I called in. There was more reasons to call in than not and they didn't need me. I was scheduled just because it was my makeup weekend...someone would have got pulled and I would've gone through the same exact thing...no one in charge and everyone trying to dump all the work on me they can. I realize I could've called the House Supervisor last night when I got done there and realized that I had more patients that I should have, but I immediately had to get busy and I guess I was so tired by then, all the fight had gone out of me and I was just trying to make it through my shift....I was such a nervous wreck by then I couldn't contemplate any sort of confrontation and so I just went on and tried to make the best of it and get through it but oh, Lord. I am just totally not working with them again...I'll make it up, but not with them......I am sooooo tired.....but, relieved and glad that I called in. Thanks for all your advice....
  6. by   ktwlpn
    Originally posted by soundsLikesirens:
    It's over...oh thank God..over for now, anyway...I went into work last night...one of the RNs said they'd called up staffing and an RN was going to have to be pulled to another floor (not necessarily me) but I jumped at the chance to get off the floor. I worked there from 7p to 11p...then I got pulled to another, different floor from 11p to 3am...whereupon, unfortunately I had to go to my "home" floor and "face the music". Godzilla really didn't bother me but it sucked just the same. Guess who had the most patients???? I spent my 11p - 3am time on the other floor doing midnight meds AND all the MARs for the entire floor...which was ok by me....then I get down there and my MARs for the module I am taking aren't even done....so I "get" to do them. (We have a RN who's doing 3p to 3a) and I took her module.....anyway......I had 12 patients, and I walked into a mess....no one was in charge....I had 12 patients....the other 2 RNs had 9 and 10 or 9 and 9...I came down at 3am...no MARs done for me, no worksheet ready...nothing.....I was in report and my CNA kept interrupting to tell me so-and-so needed a pain pill/shot....the other RNs wouldn't even give my pain meds while I was in report!!!!!! They TOTALLY do not work together as a team, they don't help each other and basically, as far as I can see, DON'T GIVE A ****. There was a RN there who'd clocked in as charge, but you'd never know it. We didn't have an actual "clinical leader" but she was supposed to be charge nurse. I could go on and on but you get the idea....it was nearly 5:30 when I got my MARs done....I had 8 fingersticks at 6am so I had to start immediately on that...most of them got coverage, so it took me to nearly 6:30am...time then to start my 6am meds!!!!! It was AWFUL... I was supposed to work again tonight but you know what? I called in. There was more reasons to call in than not and they didn't need me. I was scheduled just because it was my makeup weekend...someone would have got pulled and I would've gone through the same exact thing...no one in charge and everyone trying to dump all the work on me they can. I realize I could've called the House Supervisor last night when I got done there and realized that I had more patients that I should have, but I immediately had to get busy and I guess I was so tired by then, all the fight had gone out of me and I was just trying to make it through my shift....I was such a nervous wreck by then I couldn't contemplate any sort of confrontation and so I just went on and tried to make the best of it and get through it but oh, Lord. I am just totally not working with them again...I'll make it up, but not with them......I am sooooo tired.....but, relieved and glad that I called in. Thanks for all your advice....
    Glad you made it through...you must be worn out...I have worked on a med surg floor that sounds alot like that one.Nurses would go to dinner with out medicating their post-op patients and if I was covering and did not do it for then they reported me.But if any of my pts needed anything while I was gone-forget about it....I learned very fast as a new grad to plan ahead and take care of water pitchers,pain meds and commodes before my break..Of course that was in the days when we got breaks....I have worked with a lot of nurses with very strange personalities...some very difficult people.I think this field tends to draw alot of dysfunctionals(not me- of course)We work together so closely we forget simple common courtesy.Looks like in our situation that your co-worker is digging her own grave-so just sit back and watch the show...

  7. by   jp#1
    You deserved the day off!! Good for you! Maybe you can offer a pint of blood next time instead of working anywhere in that place. It sounds like a nightmare that wouldn't end!
  8. by   Doc
    I just wanted to clarify my last point and answer Tim's last post.

    I too have been a victim of this sort of behaviour. Despite what you might here male nurses get more than their share of this kind of abuse - it's hard to survive in a female dominated profession (Yikes, fuel for another debate!) Of course this is an overgeneralisation. My personal way to cope with that (you males listening?) is that male nurses have to stick together. But I digress...

    What I wanted to say is I totally identify with your hardships with the cows you have had to work with. I agree that management often does not give a damn. But to say that ALL managers in ALL facilities don't give a damn is a gross overgeneralisation. As for the person who wrote incident reports about the nurse involved to no avail, were you the only one who wrote her up? As I said, if one person writes up another, it looks like a ****-fight, or a personality clash. When several people write someone up, there is no contest. Management will have to fire them. I also agree with Charles on how you are letting yourself to some extent be manipulated by this person in reacting to her that way. I know how it is when someone is constantly on your case or being totally negative. Can you find people to talk about this with? Can you do some sort of relaxation or imagine her overboard a ship surrounded by sharks or something?

    Don't get me wrong - a bit of personal confrontation can go a long way - but watch how you do this. If you are being hostile back (even if this is a gut reaction to get the ***** off your back), she can write YOU up! Secondly, if management asks others "What's going on between those two?", and you were seen/heard being hostile, the testimonies of others will do you no good. Thirdly, you are setting an example to the more junior nurses. Don't show them that nurses holler abuse at each other, even if the other nurse asks for it. You may not be able to fix your own situation, but you sure can do something to help not reinforce this kind of behaviour in the profession.

    One last thing. You are both very strong personalities. Personal confrontation will probably end up in fighting and management may then step in. If you have utilised the correct avenues for making a complaint (multiple incident reports, speaking to NUM or DON, confronting her nicely and documenting it in a personal notebook, or using the unit's "communication book") then you have some justification for whatever else you do, and you will generally be seen as the good person. Unless you plan to quit your job, don't say that you don't care about what management thinks, because if it comes to the crunch, your job and standing will depend on it.

    Take care and I'm glad you had an alright weekend!

    Doc


    [This message has been edited by bshort (edited March 14, 2001).]
  9. by   Tim-GNP
    My advice remains unchanged... get your attempted oppressor, and give her a good verbal thrashing... WHERE NO ONE COULD HEAR. From an administrative/legal standpoint, it turns into a case of 'his [or her] word against his.' Deny it if they try to write you up. If you are going to have a verbal scrap... keep it away from staff, co-workers, student nurses, patients, etc. For God sakes, man, get 'em out of ear shot of anyone!!!

    If you think 'writing up' a co-worker will help, let me tell you what goes on, from the other side of the 'Administrator's Door.' It would involve myself [when I was still an apprentice NHA], my Administrator, the DON and the Director of HR as well as the RM director having coffee, hearing a few of them tell the story... they would refer to the individuals involved as 'f---ing crackpots,' and liken what they had to do to 'standing the kids in the corner.' One suggestion I heard included: 'let's bang their G-- D--n heads together and see if we can knock any sense into them.'

    SO... as you can see, my advise has a basis. I am not saying that all healthcare establishments aare managed like the one I served as an apprentice in, but I would wager that there are more like the one I was in than like the 'JCAHO' Comprehensive Accreditation Manual describes as ideal.

  10. by   mustangsheba
    Sirens: Sounds like you made some impact. Good for you! Management must know something is up with the ****. It may be just a matter of time before her swan song comes up. I thought I could work with anybody too, but as I mentioned before, I have met my waterlucys. Three to be exact in 19 years. One whose behavior changed after my team and I confronted her and two who were incorrigibles even after confrontation. If you do approach her per Charles suggestion, do it off the hospital grounds. The only thing that would deter me is my size because I do believe that you have to get some people's attention with a 2X4. Isn't there anyplace else you can seek employment? Even at it's best, it sounds like you're understaffed. I love reading your posts. I have my very own stake - engraved. Good luck, chickadee.
  11. by   Louie18
    Sounds to me like the same situation you would have between parent and child. ONE of you has to be the adult.
    It sounds like in your situation ONE of you needs to be a NURSE.
    Find out who she is.
    Her behavior sounds to me like a defense mechanism to keep others from really knowing what causes this behavior within her.
    There is a book called "The Pain of Obesity," I strongly recommend every person in the health care field find it and read it front to the very last page.
    She is hurting somehow somewhere and all you see is her reaction to the pain.
    For pain can be both physical AND psychological.
    In 30 years of nursing and 43 different jobs, including two pools which sent me to probably another fifty, I have never met a person I did not like nor get along with. (If it were to happen I would find out why, because I too:
    "GET ALONG WITH EVERYBODY! (which encompasses her.)

    Good Nursing.

    Louie
  12. by   Doc
    Godzilla! LOL!

    It's funny that most of the ******* are obese. I worked with one a few years back, we called her Jabba the Hut. Sometimes we used to call her The Blimp! I've found a lot of obese people have a real chip on their shoulder. To be fair, though, it must be pretty rough growing up as the fat kid, or even ending up obese. How come there's no self-help group for coping with the issues that come from being obese? Sounds to me like Godzilla badly needs one.

    Doc


    [This message has been edited by bshort (edited February 21, 2001).]
  13. by   soundsLikesirens
    Update: well I ended up working last night, anyway. Here's what happened...after I called in, I got to worrying about was discussed in our last unit meeting: self-staffing. I thought: oh, Lord: will I have to work with these people AGAIN and what about my usual "group", we all work as a team and I don't want to lose that...I called the asst. unit manager at the hospital and asked her about it...she said no, it was just an idea right now. (I'd thought it was to start on the next schedule; that's why I was concerned). She then asked why I called in...and I told her. She practically begged me to come in, because for some reason, the nurse who works the 3p-3a shift had also called in! I took ten minutes to think about it, called back and told her no...she kept on asked if I would please come in at 11 and do third shift. I told her okay, that it was against my better judgment but I would...she promised to speak to the unit manager, etc. I got there at 11pm and the House Supervisor comes on the floor as soon as I do. I got a fair patient assignment and an apology from the RN who was charging the previous night. She said she "didn't know" I had 12 patients. (?) Whatever; I don't really have a problem with her - I like her - it's Godzilla that gives me the creeps! Also, I got an LPN that is part of my group, and we work together as a team, so that was a big shot in the arm. Also we had 3 on the floor whereas, they usually split the floor. Come morning, the asst. unit manager comes in and is very appreciative. I do believe I made some serious points with all of this. To head off any further problems, I am simply going to tell her that I cannot work with Godzilla and to not schedule us together. Any makeup weekends - hopefully there won't be anymore because I would probably drag myself to work no matter how sick I was, rather than risk having to work with that ***** again!

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