Help- Is Nursing Where I Belong???

susanmary · Nov 17, 2003

Oops -- sorry for the multiple posts:eek:

susanmary · Nov 17, 2003

If you leave crying work every shift ... and often are so upset before working that you vomit ... then it's time for you to step back & reflect on WHY you want to continue working as a nurse. The pressure you are under is making you physically and emotionally unwell.

Please be kind to yourself, get some counseling -- does your employer have an employee assistance program? You sound like you are "cracking/burning out" under the pressure -- you need to put yourself first. You are obviously a bright and caring person ... but you can only do your best. Often bedside nursing requires "super human nurses" -- but truly, you can only do your best. To go home and obsess for hours about your day -- you are not allowing yourself a mental/physical break.

Step back ... get some help/support. Have you thought about other less "stressful" nursing positions? I'm sorry you are going through this ... hang in there & take care of yourself & be YOUR BEST ADVOCATE.

(Sorry for all the multiple posts ... have had way too much coffee and entered the tab button too many times. Mea culpa!)

susanmary · Nov 17, 2003

Oops -- sorry for the multiple posts:eek:

susanmary · Nov 17, 2003

oops -- sorry for the multiple posts:eek:

CCU NRS · Nov 17, 2003

I agree with what susan said all four times LOL

I would just remind you that there are many types of nursing. You didn't mention your current field ie Tele, ER/ED, CCU, OB, PEDS etc. I would suggest that maybe you need a slower paced area if that is possible. I know all areas of hospitals are busy but some offer a little less stress. You may look into being a surgical rotator or scrub nurse this is very exacting work but when your case is done it is out of your control and out to recovery and then the floor. It sounds like to me you are a little OCD (sorry not trying to dx) but most really good nurses are. Time management is the key to nursing this I truly beleive. If you are still "new" and you need to revise some of your priorities to make a better time management plan you may do this. Nursing is a continual process, you don't have to do it all right now but you have to get it all done.

Best of luck I think you sound like you care maybe too personally some distance is required.

workingstiff · Nov 17, 2003

When you say you feel stressed I read it as you feel scared. I think you were of the belief that like a magic wand becoming an RN would remove doubt. Why do you think it is called practicing medicine? You need time to mature in your field. You obviously have skills or you wouldn't get "excellent" reviews.

I don't know anyone who doesn't worry they may have made a mistake. It kind of goes with any job where it comes down to a decision that needs to be made. Some decisions, like in the medical field, involve other peoples lives. But equally stressful may be the decision a judge has to make about putting a child back with a "reformed" parent.

You can't run from your worries or you will run from your life. On the sea when the waves start to really kick up the Captain will turn his ship into the waves because a wave that hits from the side could capsize the ship.

Being a nice girl is fine but know your limitations. try saying the following some time instead of carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders; "I would like to help you with that but I have to do this or that" or "I have not been trained for that". It is ok to not have the time or the skill necessary to complete every task.

To like nursing or anything else you need to lighten your load. I am talking your expectations of yourself. I sincerely doubt that anyone else's expectation are anywhere near as high as yours. If you doubt this ask your boss.

If you want to be secure in your job follow the above advice. Don't worry about your job, they will tell you if you need to improve. My bet is your performance is fine and the sick calls will subside. That will be good for you and your employer. Don't forget to enjoy something outside of work. I would suggest some martial arts training as it will give you confidence and a great workout followed by 15 minutes of stretching while listening to some soothing music. Lastly, cut back on the cafeine if you are a heavy drinker of it so you can calm down some.

Good luck, let me know how you make out.

Bailarina · Nov 17, 2003

Nurse1975, what area do you work in? Have you considered maybe working in a clinic, or an area of less acuity? Or working in an area that doesn't require patient care i.e. nurse recruitment, administration etc.

Best of luck to you.

SmilingBluEyes · Nov 17, 2003

Sounds as if you have anxiety issues and there is help for this. It's normal to have some apprehension in nursing...to 2nd guess what we do from time to time but your case is extreme. It may NOT be that you do not belong in nursing, just that you need some professional guidance and intervention. Do not delay; get help and start ont he road to feeling better! Best wishes now.:kiss

purplemania, BSN, RN · Nov 17, 2003

I agree with the above postings. Don't try to be too nice, at the risk of sacrificing your own well being. Customer service is a nice additive, but it is NOT the reason you are there. Maybe an interview with a counselor would help. You do not say how long you have been a nurse. If under 2 years I have to say your confidence level is not built up yet. If greater than 2 years sounds like general anxiety. Get professional opinion. Maybe change area of work. Consider non-direct patient care, such as Education. Good luck and keep us posted.

Agnus · Nov 17, 2003

Originally posted by nurse1975_25
Dear wonderful people,

I think that this forum is an excellent place for people to share their stories, concerns, heartaches and humour. We are all human and I really do appreciate this site. Here is my problem. I THINK I HATE NURSING:sniff: I didn't have the easiest time in school due to my own personal illnesses so finally becoming a registerd nurse was and is a great feeling of pride for me. However, I now wonder if I am meant to be a nurse at all. It isn't that I don't care for my patients, I always get good reports given to my nurse manager about my "excellent" care, but I feel so stressed. I worry when I am there, constantly wondering if I have forgotten something or if I did something wrong. I feel so sick to my stomach before work, a lot of times I actually vomit because I feel so scared. I shake, I go home and check and recheck my daily worksheet over and over to try and put my heart at ease. This might sound odd because in my heart I know I am doing a good job but I am so afraid that I will miss something or do something that will hurt, disappoint or anger my co workers, patients and management. I am often described as the girl who is "so nice" and I do try to be but I feel like I have taken too much on. I know that you can't be expected to be perfect and know everything all at once but I seriously leave every one of my shifts in tears.( I make it to the car before I cry) So then this leads to another problem, I have more sick calls than most people because I know that sometimes I am more of a danger going in when I am so upset and nervous. Basically I want to like being a nurse, I want to be thought of as a good nurse and I would like to enjoy or at least be able to function as a normal RN. I am typing too much but I really do need some feedback especially if you have been in my situation or are currently experiencing it now. I WANT T0 feel secure with my job , like I have things in order and under control instead of always feeling like I am behind the eight ball. I am sorry for the large post. I hope you are all well and I wish you all the luck in your nursing careers.

Nursing is a scary responsibility. You are not the first one to experience this.

You need to get some thing into perspective. You give 100% every day. You do your very best. Know that. You cannot do more than that. Know that.

I don't not know if you have a religious base. It would help here. If you did I would say trust your God to handle the rest.

In any case trust that the nurse who relieve you will handle anything left undone. They know and undrstand sometime everything is not perfect. They have been there.

99.44% of the time when I forget something or screw up it has been taken care of by another nurse. Some things are not as critical as we like to think.

You are a very concientious nurse and it shows to your collegues, patients and management. That is all you need to be.

You absolutely must relenquish responsibility when your shift if over. You must learn to ask for help. And you must not carry it home.

When you leave the hospital find a bush or something and hang everything on it and absolutely do not pick it up again until you return.

Talk with your manager. Perhaps your employer offers an employee assistance program where you can discuss this with a counselor. Talk with a chaplin or your minister. Talk with your manager. But do not keep this to yourself. It wil destroy you.

Part of the responsibility you are assuming is a responsibility to yourself. Nurse thy self.

Agnus · Nov 17, 2003

Wow I posted without reading the other answers. If one person says something that is one person's opinion. You have serveral nuses saying the same thing. ((((((((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))))))))

It is not the stress that kills; it is how we handle it.