Help I am loosing my mind

nsmith_rn · Nov 3, 2001

I second that one

life is to short......

CareerRN · Nov 3, 2001

N Smith_RN,

I do not work on your floor, but I have worked in many areas of nursing like it.

It does not matter how good of a nurse you are as long as someone has it out for you. Many times you do not have a clue as to who it is. If someone does not like the way you say something or the way you conduct yourself or in some cases who you socialize with then you become a target. Such is the way it is working with some women. Some will smile and joke with you and the next thing you know, you are called in to be counseled/reprimanded about some ridiculous thing or another.

It is a no win situation. There is no way in many cases to even defend your self. I can tell you one thing for sure. Your present nurse manager is playing the game as well. She should have put a stop to this a long time ago. She promoting this kind of behavior and in turn rewarding those who are taking part in it.

I once had another nurse who was after me like this and ended up in the nurse manager's office on several occasions. At first, I did not have a clue who it could be, but I soon found out. I went to see the NM and just happened to walk up to the door as my name was being discussed.

Well I got to confront my accuser face to face. The nurse manager told me that this nurse was highly respected by her. She told me that she had years of experience and that I was out of line in saying that she had a personal vendetta against me. This nurse just smiled and then they both started in on me. I was actually shocked to see who it was. To this day, I still do not know how I got on her hit list. I am sure you know the type. Two faced and sneaky.

Two days latter, this nurse came up to me while there were 3 other nurses around and told me how miserable she was going to make things for me. She even said my a** was hers. I did not say a word. She was so impressed with her self she went on for 5 minutes. I sat down that night and wrote down everything she wrote and also named who else heard her say it. Then I wrote down what had transpired in the nurse manager's office 2 days before.

The next day I made a special trip to see my nurse manager. I had the biggest smile on my face. I gave a copy of what that nurse had said and was immediately called a liar and accused of making it up. I told her I had a copy to send to HR, the nursing supervisor, and also the head of the hospital if she did not look into the matter and stop it.

She did talk with the other people present and they all stood by what I said. She called me in to tell me this and to tell me she had talked with the nurse in question, but then began to imply that I had some how caused it to happen. That is when I presented her with the other letter I had written about what had happened in her office between the 3 of us. She shut right up. I told her not to call me in about anything that was trivial again. I was never called into her office after that for anything. I stayed for about a year more and I was never bothered again. In fact, after the rest of the nurses found out what had happened, the whole atmosphere changed and for some strange reason all the BS complaints stopped.

I was very lucky that this nurse chose to hang herself along with the manager. Come to find out later from another nurse who worked with this NM when she was a staff nurse, she did the same thing to many people. Maybe this is your situation as well.

Get out of there as quick as possible. This profession is not worth it in the long run. Some of us are too old to start new careers or have too much debt to allow us the luxury of actually allowing us to cut back on hours to pursue something else. Some of us are still paying back the student loans that went toward our nursing education. Best of luck to you.

Before you leave from where you are. Take the opportunity to ask the person that you think has it in for you. You never know, you could be way off base.

micro, RN · Nov 4, 2001

:(

Can't even begin to reply!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, like it is your fault that ..........????????????????

Like I said, can't even begin to reply!!!!!!!

Career RN and any others like us, hang in there!!!!!!!!! There is hope for our profession yet!!!!!!!!!

:confused: micro

nsmith_rn · Nov 7, 2001

Well I got a new job actully in a new hospital and I am happy about it. I do not know if this is going to be any better but I am not sure that it could get any worse. Literally that was the worst job I have ever had. Being verbally assualted, no support from the manager over that issuse and then they even sad they wanted me to confront this psycho in a meeting..... NOT.

I am about taking care of disputes but I really think that this person would go over the edge....

I am not putting my ersonal safety in danger.

Thanks for all the support

p.s.

the new job is something that I have wanted to do for a long time.......

Mkue · Nov 7, 2001

nursern

Congrats on the NEW job, I hope this works out for you.

I had an awful job once too, not in nursing though, and I know how that makes one feel.

Good Luck and keep your head up

:)

cargal · Nov 8, 2001

nsmith_rn

I am so happy for you. Life IS too short and there are too many opportunities for a nurse (or an engineer!) out there. Great Luck and let us know how you are doing. One of the upsides is all the support you got from the nurses on allnurses.com! You will find that your old job will soon become a distant memory.

Carrie

CATHYW · Nov 8, 2001

Congrats, NSmith! I know this has been an agonizing time for you. So, what is your new job? Whatcha doin?

Best of luck!

nsmith_rn · Nov 8, 2001

OK the new job is one an IMC ( ICU stepdown)

that is something that I have wanted to do for a bit.

I think that I might enjoy it.

It ia hard for places like where I was at to take all the joy out of nursing.

Love and passion for what you do can only go. When it is a constant assault on you

that takes it toll

Mkue · Nov 8, 2001

:cool:

I'm just curious.. If a nurse leaves a place of employment in nursing on not so good terms and seeks other employment.. do the prospective employers call your last place of employment and ask personnel if there has been a problem, or is there any checking with previous employers?

I'm just curious I guess, some of the horror stories I've seen on these boards makes me wonder if someone could try to undercut your chances of getting another job.

As you can see I'm not a nurse yet, I hope my question doesn't sound ignorant. I just like to analyze things.

nnurse smith, I'm happy for you !

JennieBSN · Nov 8, 2001

CATHYW · Nov 8, 2001

Mkue, I've had it happen to me-when I was an LPN on an ICU step-down unit, I wanted to transfer to OB because they had a part-time position, and the schedule would work well when I returned to school for RN. Had the interview (a Loooonnng one), was told the paperwork for transfer would be sent to HR the next morning, went home floating on a cloud. Next morning, phone rings, it is the OB manager-something has come up, and she can't use me, but thanks. Took me a while, but found out that my Manager didn't want me to leave her unit, and somehow put the kibosh on my transfer. So, I kept working the same unit for a few more months, finally quit, and worked in a Dr's. office while I finished school. Went back, reapplied to the ER (same hospital)after I graduated, and was accepted, no problem. It seems you are at their whims.

I have no way of proving it, but I think the lovely ER manager that I wrote about on another thread ruined my chance to be a nurse manager for the Red Cross blood bank. Same thing-interview went well, job hours discussed, etc., liked my ER exp. and the fact that I was a firefighter/first responder, and multiple certifications. Let me check your references-I have had absolutely NOTHING negative in my personal or professional life that could be reported and/or uncovered. Only thing I can think is that this woman knew someone at the RC, and down the tubes that one went. That's okay-this job was created for me by the HR manager here-I worked one day a week as plant nurse from the same hospital where I had worked in the ER. They hired me away from them, called my manager there, said, "we have good news and bad news. The good news is that we have hired Cathy. The bad news is that she won't be working for you anymore. But, if you continue to have a good working relationship with Cathy, we will continue to use you for our Occ. Health needs." It will be 2 years Nov. 11, and so far, so good! :)

nsmith- Good for you! I believe you will like this type of work. I really liked it-it is like a mix of ER, ICU, and med/surg nursing. You use your skills and knowledge to varied, great, extent (no slams intended to any othre dept.!). The only thing I didn't care for was the revolving-door, chronically ill patients. Not them, personally, but the fact that I saw them so often that I became attached to many of them, and it was painful to watch them and their families suffer as they declined and passed away, but that is another thread. Anyway, all of the best to you-stick to your guns, and stick up for yourself, with this new staff. Just don't be too defensive or over-assertive-that will start a whole new thing! :eek: :rolleyes:

betts · Nov 9, 2001

Too All,

I've been in nursing since 1969 and managment for the last 9 years. I DO NOT allow any form of harassment, I support my nurses and have recently been dismissed because I wouldn't back down from Corporate.

I would have an impromptu meeting with ALL nursing staff; on their shifts, outlining my expectations and guidelines. I've always had an open-door policy, I believe in and back my charge nurses but always listen to both sides before any decision is made. I also inform them that NO-ONE including myself, knows it all and that I'll never ask them too do anything that I wouldn't do.

I also realize that their are those that try to imtimidate others and have shown several the door regardless of position, seniority or whom they know.

My first priority is and always has been the care of the client/patient/resident. I've had the unfornunate opportunity on several occasions of having to deal with administrators on up whom if you put their brain in a birds head, it would fly backwards.

We are the front lines of healthcare; we need a unified voice, lobbyist, the 'sticks in the asses of our elected officials'; if you will; and start beating them! I've said it for years, everyone needs to email them! Be consistent and unwavering in this. I have my message typed up in Word Format and send it daily, even too the White House. Someone has too be reading it too reply.