Friend tells me she is diverting

Nurses General Nursing

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I have a friend who was married to a physically/mentally abusive man for 9 years. She needed to get out of the relationship, so when her H.S sweetheart came back into her life and told her he would take her from this life of hell that she was living, she thought she was finally saved. She ended divorcing the lunatic and married her H.S love.

She was excited to start her new life and put the past in the past. She had enrolled in a LPN program and couldn't wait to start her new career.One evening her present husband started to drop subtle hints about"how easy is to get access to oxycontin/oxycodone?" She told him that it was very difficult. He kept persisting. One night he was going thru withdrawals and confessed to her he was a addict begged her to get some pills . He was very sly on also mentioning to her " remember what I did for you, and who was there for you when you needed it the most". She gave in. Then he asked again and again. Until he was asking her to get 20-25 pills per week. She reached her breaking point and told him he needed to go to rehab. He refused to do what she had asked and she felt what she had been doing was so wrong. She felt ashamed to be a nurse, depressed, no self worth, no self esteem.

She left him 3 times and each time went back to him. I did not understand why?? Until she told me this story I'm describing now. He came to visit her the first time she left and showed her several medication slips he had saved with pts names on them and said to her " you have 24 hrs to gather your things and come back home or I'll destroy you!

Presently she lives in her own apt, but he continues to control every aspect of her life. He has also extended the court date for their divorce and will eventually comply as long as she comes thru with pills.( I don't think he will ever sign) He needs to know everything that she is doing at all times and the main reason is for the pills. She recently was told at work she will be filling in for a new position, where she will off the med cart and his answer to her about this " that's not gonna work, you need to find a way to come thru, figure it out or you know what is going to happen to you!"

What would you do if you were in this situation?? What options if any??

To me, he is a predator, who preyed on a severely damaged woman coming from a abusive first marriage and knew he could manipulate her

Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.
Stating the obvious, your friend has a long history of making poor decisions, and poor life-planning skills. When you stated the only reason she left her prior husband was because someone came along to "rescue" her, my alarm bells pealed madly.

My best to her, but she has made repeated bad decisions that to a person with even a modicum of "adult skill" would have rejected. The first time new hubby asked her to pilfer meds, should have been when she walked out the door for good.

If I were in her position, I would in short order be inclined to:

1.) see a lawyer

2.) visit the police, report extortion and blackmail, and get a restraining order.

3.) begin therapy

At this point she's either got to cut her losses herself, or someone will eventually do it for her. And, that person (or entity) might pursue heavy legal action including prison/jail time for distributing controlled substances. Families of patients could also pursue civil cases against her for withholding pain medications from loved ones.

It's better if she goes for a preemptive strike of sorts, and takes the bull by the horns herself. She'll have much more credibility and "sympathy" from those that would otherwise seek to make an example out of her.

She needs to take the power away from him by coming clean and confessing.She will have to face the consequences of what she is doing but at least she will get away from him.

She also needs to learn that a woman can survive just fine without a man.

And certainly without that one.

^THIS...each statement 1,000 times over!!! :yes:

You have a duty to report as well, whether you work with her or not.

As a DV survivor, I understand how toxic and paralyzing it can be to leave someone; however, this may end badly either way unfortunately.

The best thing your friend can do is turn him in and cooperate, and take control of the situation for the sake of herself, as well as the patients. He has to see the damage she is doing MORE to her patients.

So not only was she keeping narcotics from people who needed them, falsifying records, stealing narcotics, and sharing narcotics, she was violating HIPAA laws by keeping "medication slips" (whatever that means) and sharing them with her husband?

Presuming that this is all true (it smacks of fiction to me), she's finished as a nurse... and rightfully so.

Specializes in Public Health, L&D, NICU.

If you are a nurse, you very well could have a duty to report her to the board of nursing because you know what's going on. She'd probably be at least marginally better off to bite the bullet and self-report. I can't imagine she'll get away with stealing that many pills for much longer. Someone's going to notice sooner or later, if they haven't already.

Specializes in LTC Rehab Med/Surg.

I'm a firm believer that each of us has a right to screw up our own lives, whenever and however we wish. Free will.

There was not one single step she took, over the course of weeks and months, that she didn't know was wrong. She took those steps anyway, as is her right.

What makes me really mad, is when people like the above, screw up dozens of other lives in the process. She stole from her place of employment. Somebody there is going to lose their job because they weren't paying attention to the fox in the hen house. Maybe more than one somebody. She was trusted. That's how you can steal than much stuff from somebody else.

She deprived old people, in pain, their pain relief. Oxycontin is a might more powerful than tylenol. We're talking some serious pain.

There will be anguish in her own family. Mom, dad, children, if kids are involved. Then there are her friend/friends, who she chose to make complicit in her crimes. I have a feeling she doesn't possess the stength to turn herself in, so you've been elected to be the one to tell.

Friend or not, I'd turn her in in a heartbeat. Although, I'm sure I'd never count such a person as my friend.

Specializes in Acute Mental Health.

Although I feel for her as one human being to another, I can't help but think "What an idiot". She's been diverting all of this time and pts that need pain control are getting what? Tylenol? Great nurse that one. Now, you have knowledge as well!? What a mess. What do you think you should do now that you have this knowledge? You are legally obligated to report as hard as that may be, your friend is a mess and perhaps should rethink her career choice.

We have an obligation to our patients to do no harm and yet here she is stealing their prescribed medications. This post kind of reeks because what facility doesn't keep up with narc counts and missing narcs? We count with 2 licensed staff each shift, no exceptions, and sign the books. I've never worked in a place that doesn't have some sort of accountability system in place. I can't help but think fake post. Just my two cents of course.

Specializes in Telemetry, ER.

Nursing attorney and self-report ASAP

Can someone explain the stealing from other patients part?? (Not a nurse, here...) Is she writing prescriptions that are actually supposed to go to people and then giving them to this man? Can she be writing the prescriptions to anybody?? Or is it charted that she's giving these to certain patients for a certain cause?

Specializes in Going to Peds!.
Can someone explain the stealing from other patients part?? (Not a nurse here...) Is she writing prescriptions that are actually supposed to go to people and then giving them to this man? Can she be writing the prescriptions to anybody?? Or is it charted that she's giving these to certain patients for a certain cause?[/quote']

She's a nurse. She can't write prescriptions. She's taking pain medication from the facility that she works for & giving it to her husband. She has to account for the removal of that pain medication, so she's charting that it's been dispensed to Patient Doe. But she's not giving it to the patient. She's pocketing it.

*LPNs & RNs can't write prescriptions. Nurse practitioners can.

Sent from my HTC One X using allnurses.com

She's a nurse. She can't write prescriptions. She's taking pain medication from the facility that she works for & giving it to her husband. She has to account for the removal of that pain medication, so she's charting that it's been dispensed to Patient Doe. But she's not giving it to the patient. She's pocketing it.

*LPNs & RNs can't write prescriptions. Nurse practitioners can.

Sent from my HTC One X using allnurses.com

Sorry, I feel like an idiot!! I'm stuck in NP application mode myself, didn't think twice. But, snap!! That's crazy! How does one get away with taking 20-25 pills a week?!

Specializes in Going to Peds!.

Sorry, I feel like an idiot!! I'm stuck in NP application mode myself, didn't think twice. But, snap!! That's crazy! How does one get away with taking 20-25 pills a week?!

No prob!

I have NO respect or sympathy for this nurse. She's stealing from her patients & leaving them in pain to support her husband's drug habit. He can hit the street corner & buy them himself.

Sent from my HTC One X using allnurses.com

Specializes in Psych ICU, addictions.

If it were me, I'd self-report, call the police, get two lawyers (one for dealing with the BON, one for the divorce), get out of that marriage ASAP and sever all ties with him.

As long as she lets him blackmail her, he will. She's got to put her foot down and end it...and better she self-reports than is reported to the BON by him, her facility or anyone else.

I'm confused about the slips with patient info on them. What are they and how did he come to have them?

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