Ever have family members of a pt who was a doc?

Super_RN, BSN, RN · Nov 2, 2009

Oh yeah, more than once. And most of the time it drives me bonkers. Families are worse than when the actual patient is a doctor, in my opinion.

mamamerlee, LPN · Nov 2, 2009

1. As nicely as possible, for EVERY pt, ask the family which person will be the ONE to represent the patient. You put yourself in a bad place if you inadvertently use a different word in an explanation. " we sometimes see such-and-such happen" "we sometimes see so-and-so happen". Then both will jump all over you.

2. Cr clearances? defer to the pt's doctor - the person who can make changes if necessary.

3. You did very well, did not allow yourself to get flustered or intimidated.

4. Although I am a nurse, when I am the PATIENT I want everything explained to me as though I know nothing. Because when it's happening to me, my mind will be a blank. When I am the family member, I want the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. So help THEM, G-d! I do not want sugar-coated junk information. And, yes, I tell people that I am a nurse. My family has deferred to me in the past to digest the info and assist in decision-making.

I am both honored and humbled in that role. Therefore, I need all the correct info I can get. Even the Cr. clearance, if need be.

rockenmomRN · Nov 2, 2009

I've had family members who were physicians, nurses, aids, and staff members of the hospital i work in. I treat them the same as any other family member. I answer to the best of my ability and if they don't like what i'm saying i simply say "would you like to speak with the Dr?"

As far as her getting ***** about the a-fib. next time you could simply say: "as you know A-Fib is a known side effect of the treatment, the MD is aware and we're giving the appropriate medication/interventions to manage this side effect" you could even ask if they have any suggestions they would like to discuss with the MD. (And then blow up the doctors pager until he gets up there and joins in the 'fun'.)

Make sure your charge nurse is aware of the situation maybe even your dept. supervisor. I find that if famare going to complain about you to them its best if they've already heard it from YOU first. Where I work our Department Supervisor makes rounds on the patient daily. they appreciate a 'heads-up' before going into the room and are ambushed by a very angry patient or family member.

Vito Andolini · Nov 2, 2009

maybe others have had a positive experience.
i had a pt whose son was a pharmacist and daughter was a psychiatrist. this pt was on a natrecor gtt. pharmacist son, probably a nice guy, hovering over his dad (i'm a night shifter), wanting to know things like... what is his cr clearance, how often was he getting antibx and at what dose, etc. i have to say, i had the pt of a saint, and i kept telling myself "loss of control over situation....sense of powerlessness.... what if that was my dad...." i went online to find the formula of the creat clearance. showed him, included him, telling him from the get go "our pharmacist does this, the nurses never do this, so this is new."
then, daughter comes in. asks a multitude of questions (how do his lungs sound, etc). i had my poop in a group, let me tell you, i jogged through all the meds and drips to be "prepared" before hand. i did not let the daughter know i knew she was a physician. she finally came right out and said, "i don't know if they told you or not, but i am a physician." i replied, "ooooh! okay!" i had been talking to her like any other family member of a pt. so i just cut to the chase. i was puzzled by some of her questions, because after all, she was a physician. i printed out a 16 page information sheet of natrecor and handed it to her. i did my best to give service with a smile.
soon after, my pt goes into a-fib. this is a side effect of natrecor. call doc, get orders for amioderone and stop natrecor, told on call doc of situation. he was ready to deal. pt daughter is disgusted with him going into a-fib and states she read that it is a side effect of the natrecor gtt, and acts like his care at my hospital sucks. i'm standing there, feeling i've done everything with smile on my face and had full confidence in what i was doing. i have done everything, short of pulling my pants down and bending over, and probably was ready to do that next hadn't it been for my pt going into a-fib.
i was recently put in the position of being the "family member" of a pt who was dying and on hospice. i was curious as to what was going on, did ask some questions, but never eluded alluded that i was "a nurse" (and requested the rest of the family to not mention it).
anyone else have experience with dealing with doc family members, or even moreso, see your hospitalist deal with them?

being a nurse when a family member is sick stinks. we know how it's supposed to be done, it so often is done wrong, we can't say much or else everybody hates us. but we can't let them make mistakes with our loved ones, either. family are jealous or fearful that we might offend, yet they tell everybody, "my brother is an rn and he works in icu". so everybody gets all up in arms all the time.

girl, keep your pants on! i think you handled things just fine. so what if they're doctors or pharmacists? how else can you treat them except the way you treated them? you did great. how's the pt now?

rockenmomRN · Nov 2, 2009

btw, you did do great!!!! every interaction is a learning experience :)

Orca, ADN, ASN, RN · Nov 2, 2009

We had the mother of one of our staff physicians when I worked in a rehab hospital. Mom herself was no problem at all, very cheerful, patient with the call light. When son was in the room, different story. Whenever he believed she needed anything, from pain medication to getting her water pitcher filled, he was at the desk basically standing over our poor charge nurse who tried to patiently explain to him that she was one of 8-9 patients that the nurse was taking care of that day. She got a small skin tear (very fragile skin) reaching for a glass on her bedside table. Son acted like we were incompetent for letting this happen in the first place, and wanted to call in a microsurgeon to repair it. Her primary physician finally told son that if he did not stop harassing the nursing staff and trying to manage his mother's case that it would be signed over to him. That seemed to get his attention. Mom was apologetic for everything, but we explained to her that we knew it wasn't her doing.

What got to me is when we had a family member of a doctor, celebrity (we got a few of those) or other "important" person and we were told to give the patient "VIP treatment". When asked to do this, I always responded that all my patients get my best regardless of who they are, what they make or who they are connected with.

Virgo_RN, BSN, RN · Nov 2, 2009

What got to me is when we had a family member of a doctor, celebrity (we got a few of those) or other "important" person and we were told to give the patient "VIP treatment". When asked to do this, I always responded that all my patients get my best regardless of who they are, what they make or who they are connected with.

Ooooh, I hate that! I treat ALL of my patients as I would want to be treated, and I don't need to know if someone is a "VIP". I'm not going to do anything differently, so why do I need to know that?

Anisettes, BSN, RN · Nov 2, 2009

What got to me is when we had a family member of a doctor, celebrity (we got a few of those) or other "important" person and we were told to give the patient "VIP treatment". When asked to do this, I always responded that all my patients get my best regardless of who they are, what they make or who they are connected with.

Oooohhhh! I hate that, too. Here they don't call it VIP, they call the patient a 'command interest' (read: Colonel So and So).

SORRY, but to me Private Snuffy is just as important Colonel Whoever-the-hell and ESPECIALLY if he's coming from downrange with a body part blown off - to me HE's a 'command interest'. Aaargh! :angryfire

jnrsmommy · Nov 2, 2009

Have a co-worker who received a call from the Dentist spouse of a pt. Seems the pt called her husband c/o her sugar bottoming out and let him know that she had gotten Lantus that night. The spouse yelled at my co-worker, called her incompetent for giving the Lantus (which she did not, that was 2nd shift, it was around 11pm by this time) at night ("I am a doctor. I know that you don't give Lantus at night."), and told her that if his spouse died, he was coming up to the facility to take care of her (co-worker) personally. I have to give her credit, she was very calm, spoke to him calmly, and when it became too much, told him that she was not going to take the way he was talking to her and hung up the phone. She wrote a note to let mgmt know what happened. He complained as well. My co-worker got written up for being rude to the family member.

gentle · Nov 2, 2009

[quote=rockenmomRN;3951032As far as her getting ***** about the a-fib. next time you could simply say: "as you know A-Fib is a known side effect of the treatment, the MD is aware and we're giving the appropriate medication/interventions to manage this side effect" you could even ask if they have any suggestions they would like to discuss with the MD. (And then blow up the doctors pager until he gets up there and joins in the 'fun'.)

ROFL that is the honest truth.

Make sure your charge nurse is aware of the situation maybe even your dept. supervisor. I find that if famare going to complain about you to them its best if they've already heard it from YOU first. Where I work our Department Supervisor makes rounds on the patient daily. they appreciate a 'heads-up' before going into the room and are ambushed by a very angry patient or family member.

Please, please, please always keep the administration up to date on what is going on. This will help everyone and may result in service recovery before problems are blown out of proportion. And don't wait too long for the doc to call you back before you get help. The docs of these patients are busy. They can't always call back right away.

You did great!!!!

Above all, Never bend over for anyone!!!! Unless of course you have agreed to do this in the privacy of your own home with someone you truly love (period).

Stay safe out there. Always come to the board with questions and when you need to vent. We are all here.

Much love,

Gentle

MAISY, RN-ER, BSN, RN · Nov 2, 2009

Have a co-worker who received a call from the Dentist spouse of a pt. Seems the pt called her husband c/o her sugar bottoming out and let him know that she had gotten Lantus that night. The spouse yelled at my co-worker, called her incompetent for giving the Lantus (which she did not, that was 2nd shift, it was around 11pm by this time) at night ("I am a doctor. I know that you don't give Lantus at night."), and told her that if his spouse died, he was coming up to the facility to take care of her (co-worker) personally. I have to give her credit, she was very calm, spoke to him calmly, and when it became too much, told him that she was not going to take the way he was talking to her and hung up the phone. She wrote a note to let mgmt know what happened. He complained as well. My co-worker got written up for being rude to the family member.

I hope she wrote on that discipline that he threatened her with personal harm. That is unacceptable and that manager is a POS! We have dentists, podiatrists, psychiatrists, you name it calling....I hate VIPs, their families, and anyone who does the "do you know who I am or I am a friend of..or I just spoke to ...." UGH!

There is nothing wrong with professional courtesy, however if their questions are so pervasive that is a phone call to the physician and management. That ball is out of your court. If you are threatened, I would be threatening managment with a call to the police if they don't handle the situation. There is no way a nut regardless of their profession has the right to do that!

Actually, most are very nice and some need to be reminded but the ER is different....I get to send that problem elsewhere!

Sorry.....

Maisy