Do nurses only "eat their young" in certain departments? - page 4

This semester we are on Med/Surg. At first I thought this "nurse eating young" thing was just something made up by overly sensitive students, until I floated to other departments. I have been is... Read More

  1. by   Cattitude
    Quote from Gennaver
    Hello,
    I agree, the phrase perpetuates the concept which is so easily misunderstood and applied inappropriately.

    If we all "say" the phrase in unison it will still not simply make it apply wherever we want.

    Edit to clarify...it will not apply to any nurse who is tired or busy or not in the mood to precept that day, nor will it apply to any nurse who...as a regular person...may have a personality that doesn't necessarily combine nicely with yours, just because someone want to throw the "eating-card" out there.
    Gen-not buying it anymore
    I heart Gen :kiss . You will be a great addition to this profession. You just make so much sense!
  2. by   GeekyRN
    I won't say ETY to go along with the consensus that it should be abandoned (remember lots of people LOVE to label us as a bunch of catty women no matter what we do, so let's not help them).

    However, I had an awful experience in nursing school and as a SNE at ICU.
    I am a second career nurse (and since my first profession is computer science I'm pretty sure I'm not a moron) but I was about the only one in my nursing class who hadn't worked in a hospital as a pharm tech, PSP, or whatever. So after my first semester in med/surg I decided to work as a SNE so I wouldn't have the overhead of having to learn everything from GO while at the same ime being responsible for all that happened as an RN.

    Being a scientific sort I really really wanted to work in critical care. I got a summer SNE job where only once a week they let me work Saturday nights. Not sure what I was supposed to learn emptying foleys once a week for six weeks, and NOBODY gave me an orienation or would teach me ANYTHING. Rather they all seemed to enjoy trashing me and this "new nurse doesn't know anything, ad nauseum) and I was somehow an idiot because I didn't perform like an ICU nurse with years of experience from the go. (imagine that). And it's true I didn't know much at the time, but that's what I was there for for Godsake. Anyway, so I ended up having to go to another uni when I graduated and of course that really turned me off of ICU at least at the hospital where I work.

    While it was a God-awful experience, as it is I really feel sorry for them now. As a second-career nurse, my kids are past an age where I have to be home or have my schedule controlled by them. My husband travels so my shcedule was entirely flexible. By now they'd have someone fully trained and oriented if they'd been willing to invest even a modicum of effort into bringing me up to speed instead of depriving themselves of the fun of thumping me on the head.

    And considering I get more cards and compliments from patients than anyone else even on my unit which is famous in the hospital for patients rating us highly, I really feel they lost a good thing and I turned out to be a pretty darned good nurse.

    but I feel angry about it still. And I'm angry that I'm not working in critical care where I wanted to be and I feel like these awful people are going to keep me from ever going back there.
  3. by   GeekyRN
    Quote from Tweety
    You're welcome I apologize if you felt made fun of.

    Seriously I wish you well. Unfortunately what was said above is true, it's not for the weak, the timid, or the sensitive. You need thick skin the same way a doctor, lawyer, or businessperson needs thick skin. Patients, families, doctors, supervisors, and yes even peers are going to challenge you every day. You need to develop the skills necessary to deal with these people. We can help.

    .
    I don't disagree and will definitely take you up on your offer but truthfully that quoted piece rubs me a little wrong too. People who ETY or in otherwords are unaccountable for the hostility and misery they cause others, whatever you want to call it is costing the profession and the country a LOT of productivity. (As I mentioned in my story earlier, for example, ICU lost what was going to be one hell of an RN)

    The answer isn't just to tell everyone to develop thicker skin and love it or leave it because a lot of talent and great potential talent is going to say fine, I'll leave it. (the thought has occured to me once or twice myself).

    There's a great new bestseller getting five star reviews out now by Robert Sutton called "The No A**Hole Rule" which is meticulously researched and basically is all about how workplace bullies destroy morale and cost astronomical amounts of dollars in talent and productivity.

    I personally think it's must reading for every clinical manager, director and preferably every physician and RN.
  4. by   NurseShelly
    Quote from GeekyRN
    IThere's a great new bestseller getting five star reviews out now by Robert Sutton called "The No A**Hole Rule" which is meticulously researched and basically is all about how workplace bullies destroy morale and cost astronomical amounts of dollars in talent and productivity.

    I personally think it's must reading for every clinical manager, director and preferably every physician and RN.

    I agree with GeekyRN. I've only just started reading this book, and I would recommend it to anyone who has ever been, or currently finds themselves in a situation where they feel they're being bullied or disrespected in some way. From what I've read so far, book does two things, 1) shares stories of others who have been mistreated helping you see you're not alone and 2) the reader will see that mean and nasty people infect every profession, not just nursing. To the OP, some people are mean for the sake of being mean, and others may just be stressed out, and might not realize how they come across. I know that doesn't make it right, but you'll find that some of these people are in every department and every hospital. I hope your experience is much better from here on. I know that clinicals can be tough enough without having to deal with rudeness, just hang in there. Good luck!
  5. by   JennieO
    One way to end the eating of the young is to casually mention that you feel "harrassed in the workplace". Hmmm.....
  6. by   SICU Queen
    Quote from HeartsOpenWide
    Thank you. My intent was not to be made fun of. If it continues feel free to erase this thread completely, if its possible. Gee-sh! This is why I am timid to ask nurses for help...perfect example here!!
    The contents of this thread are enough to make you feel like you can't ask for help?? RIDICULOUS. Yes, there have been comments by some posters regarding your use of a very over-used phrase, and yes, they were made in jest... but you've also gotten some excellent pointers and advice.

    Timidity has no place in nursing. You can't advocate for yourself, or your patients, if you don't have the gumption to speak up. My advice to you? Grow a backbone, and quickly.
  7. by   kanzi monkey
    Quote from HeartsOpenWide
    Thank you. My intent was not to be made fun of. If it continues feel free to erase this thread completely, if its possible. Gee-sh! This is why I am timid to ask nurses for help...perfect example here!!
    no kidding! You may find some useful insight into this issue if you google "nurses" and "lateral violence." You can try "horizontal violence" as well. There have been some pretty interesting studies regarding this issue.

    Good luck!

    -Kan
  8. by   TrudyRN
    Unfortunately, young are eaten anywhere and everywhere.

    Just serve your sentence, try to understand the working conditions the M/S nurses are in, then get out. Or hire on and try to make it better.

    Sorry you are having a hard time but it will end soon.
  9. by   NurseShelly
    [QUOTE=kanzi monkey;2148837]no kidding! You may find some useful insight into this issue if you google "nurses" and "lateral violence." You can try "horizontal violence" as well. There have been some pretty interesting studies regarding this issue.

    Good luck!

    I just went and read some of the articles on nurses and lateral violence. They're very informative. I would love to see some of the info on lateral violence implemented into nursing schools and into programs for employed nurses both and new.
  10. by   LeahJet
    Quote from SICU Queen
    Timidity has no place in nursing. You can't advocate for yourself, or your patients, if you don't have the gumption to speak up. My advice to you? Grow a backbone, and quickly.
    I agree.

    I hope that the student/new nurses aren't getting their feelings hurt here but are actually understanding the point we are trying to make.

    If you go into nursing wearing your feelings on your sleeve then you are setting yourself up for a burn out. You will be manipulated and taken advantage of. And I am not really talking about your co-workers.
    Maybe it's 10 years in the ER speaking here but trust me, most patients/family members adhere to the "squeaky wheel" theory. They will take all of your time away from your really sick pts that need you.

    Nursing is all about priorities. Period.
    My sick pt that cannot speak up needs me so much more than that nasty family member that may be hurting my feelings if I don't comply.
    If I am all upset over what Nurse so-and-so said to me in the med room, my pts may suffer.

    Fortunately, with experience, my skin has become thicker and my backbone stronger. My heart has stayed the same.
    That's what matters.
  11. by   Cattitude
    Quote from LeahJet
    I agree.

    I hope that the student/new nurses aren't getting their feelings hurt here but are actually understanding the point we are trying to make.

    If you go into nursing wearing your feelings on your sleeve then you are setting yourself up for a burn out. You will be manipulated and taken advantage of. And I am not really talking about your co-workers.
    Maybe it's 10 years in the ER speaking here but trust me, most patients/family members adhere to the "squeaky wheel" theory. They will take all of your time away from your really sick pts that need you.

    Nursing is all about priorities. Period.
    My sick pt that cannot speak up needs me so much more than that nasty family member that may be hurting my feelings if I don't comply.
    If I am all upset over what Nurse so-and-so said to me in the med room, my pts may suffer.

    Fortunately, with experience, my skin has become thicker and my backbone stronger. My heart has stayed the same.
    That's what matters.
    True, Leah, true!! I am an emotional person to a point but you can't let that get in the way. If nurse so and so is short with you, so what? Just keep going. half the time that nurse is not even thinking about it. The point is, the sensitive person is focusing on things and the rest of us are just going on about our day.

    This by no means makes light of the extreme cases where there is blatant harassment. I think the majority of workplace nastiness is NOT this type of behavior, just plain old people being jerks or having a bad day.
  12. by   MKZ
    Quote from SICU Queen
    Ugh, that phrase!! Hate it, hate it, hate it!

    You're going to run into jerks no matter where you go; nursing is no exception. It's a personality thing - it is NOT unit specific.


    I agree "nurses eating their young" are not prone to be in secular areas. However, I find the statement "you are going to run into jerks where ever you go" offensive. For one, I have been alot of places, worked a lot of jobs, and never have I ever been put down, scorned, or unappreciated as I have been in nursing. It's a job I proudly accept. . From the beginning my attitude was bright open and willing to learn, suck up and deal, work hard to become a very good nurse.
    Jerks don't belong in nursing. But hey, lo and behold, there they are. And if one is to put up with it, more than likely, they too, will one day think its okay to be a jerk themselves. It rots the proffesion.
  13. by   blueheaven
    I think it can be in any area of the health care spectrum.

    I was working extra on a very large Med Surg floor (when I was in nursing school) and I walked in the nurse's lounge one day and most of the nurses were in there griping and complaining about "the student nurses".
    After listening to them for about 10 minutes, I HAD to put my 2 cents in.
    REEEEER!!! PFFT! PFFFT! LOL
    What???? You don't like the nursing students? The senior students take the sickest patients and do charge nurse duties, the juniors take the more complicated ones and the freshmen get the rest! They do all their own meds, IV's and the charge nurses tape report...So what do you do? Sit in here all day and complain while someone else is doing YOUR job and not getting paid for it. They shut up after that!

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