Do any fem. nurses here have Stay at Home husbands/SOs ? - page 4

I know, i ask tons of questions - but i can't help it. I want to know. Do any of you have husbands who are staying at home looking after children and u are the breadwinner? I'm 27, my son is... Read More

  1. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    P.S. Rusty, your wife is a very lucky woman

    Heather
  2. by   LasVegasRN
    I'm glad Rusty shared on this subject. I could see being supportive in a situation where the Dad:
    - Can be depended on to provide well for the kids
    - Can be trusted to make sound financial decisions
    - Is active in children's activities and education
    - Is willing to participate in social functions with and for the children
    - Remains supportive, loving, and appreciative of the wife
    - Remains sexually active and faithful
    - Is still able to generate some "bread and egg" money

    I don't know of any men today that could meet these standards (except Rusty) and, granted, I made an extremely poor choice in a husband the first time out (WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN!). I certainly don't knock those who can do it successfully.
  3. by   semstr
    My husband would have loved to stay at home, since he is the "houseman" anyway. Does the cooking, shopping etc. (cleaning we always do or did (got a cleaning-lady now) together)
    I liked being at home too though, was at home for almost two years after our daughter was born, but I simply had to go back to work, because I was absolutely going insane at home.

    Simple fact husband didn't stay at home: he gets 3x the money I get!
    But I know a few men (5 to be exact, two of them MD's) who stay at home for a year or so and then start working again. Well it is possible here to take a sabbatical for childrearing, so more and more men do that now. (This was made a federal law about 3 or 4 years ago)

    Take care, Renee
  4. by   mario_ragucci
    Something has to be said for extrenal environment, as well as the nuclear family. In a commune, for example, this kind of stuff isn't such an issue, because there is the "group" that works together. In a nuclear family, a strain to raise child/ren can be intense, and a fission reaction can sometimes occur.

    If you live in a community where the grammer school is walking distance, that can help. Commuting to and from places in the boonies is dangerous, and boring, for teens.

    My dad was not a stay at home dad. My mom was a partial stay home mom because she did work as a nurses aid. Bro - and sis more or less corrupted me, as they had to "take care of me" during times when mom had to work, plus dad.

    Having money is paramount, with anything. Just remember money can't do you any ATP. Take that to the cell.

    Mario (the silly nuclear stonehenge druid)
  5. by   nursegoodguy
    Okay lets look at the traditions of yesteryear... It use to be dad at work and mom at home with the kids... then we jumped to dad at work and mom at work (part time)... now I look at the people I work with and it's mom at work full time and no dad anywhere around to concern anyone with whether it is right or wrong for dad to be a stay at home dad! (I do however know a few dads with the kids but this is not typical.) What will we see in the future... I have a few ideas of my own how about the rest of you...
  6. by   micro
    the traditions of yesteryear............

    aaarrrgggh!!!!!!!!!! am quaking in fear in my nightmare that never ends.............

    me in a quaker hat............

    sorry all, this is another thread and probably another forum.........

    but not so sorry that i will not edit it out.......

    why, cause i is micro
  7. by   live4today
    Originally posted by nursegoodguy
    Okay lets look at the traditions of yesteryear... It use to be dad at work and mom at home with the kids... then we jumped to dad at work and mom at work (part time)... now I look at the people I work with and it's mom at work full time and no dad anywhere around to concern anyone with whether it is right or wrong for dad to be a stay at home dad! (I do however know a few dads with the kids but this is not typical.) What will we see in the future... I have a few ideas of my own how about the rest of you...
    For the parents who can afford it, the future children of society may be reared by Nanny-Robo-cops while both parents retire to an island after being sick of working and supporting their family. They will pay the younguns a visit on holidays and in the summer...with the Nanny-Robo-cop in tow at all times that is! :chuckle

    Or perhaps the eldest child will be a homeschooled child who also in turn homeschools his/her youngest siblings full time while mom and dad are either working or retired to the backyard...tired of working, they both quit and play house. :chuckle
  8. by   nursegoodguy
    Sounds like a plan to me!!! :roll
  9. by   Rustyhammer
    Originally posted by huganurse:

    The kids I see who have Mom working and Dad at home get mixed messages. Yeah, we've come along way baby, but traditional thought is still prevelant in our society, those kids wonder why Daddy doesn't work, they have problems with Dad being a "man" in a womans traditional role. Can you imagine being a 3rd grader at a school bake sale and everyone has Mom there except you? At that age, being different opens you up to ridicule from your peers. Kids are cruel to each other and go out of thier way to point out things like this.
    I have been there (see my previous post) and I can assure you that Dads can be effective in the nurturing role and the kids are just glad that A PARENT came to the bake sale at all. They could give a sh** which one is there. Believe me there are many kids whose parents cant make it because of other committments or work.
    Get out of the '50s huganurse and realize that it doesn't matter who is staying home. Really doesn't matter if both parties work.
    The important thing is that your kids KNOW they are loved and and they can talk to you and you are there to enforce the limits you have laid down.
    I guess what I am saying is... There are many roles played in todays society. We all have to pick the ones that work best for us, our spouses and our kids. I will never regret the time I spent at home with my kids but I'm glad to be back at the workplace now. Thats what works for us at the moment.
    Florida... Isn't that the state that would rather keep children in the foster homes rather than let same sex couples adopt them?
    This is a new generation with new challenges and we should keep our options open to raise our kids to be well rounded, intelligent and loving.
    -Russell
  10. by   nursegoodguy
    I helped my same sex lover raise a daughter and I'm here to tell ya we had one of the most "normal" families around! And not only was I a stay at home dad but I was a stay at home Gay stepdad and a hell of a good one at that!
  11. by   Rustyhammer
    Right on!
  12. by   Anagray
    I absolutely must agree with Rusty and nursegood - what really matters is that the children feel loved and have a home. U both are winderful for taking on the job of being the homemakers.
    Huganurse, As far as being rediculed by peers - for a child to be teased for one thing or another is almost unavoidable, so i decided a long time ago before i ever had a child, that I will raise him in a way that he understands that this is just the way it is. U can moap about it, or u can learn to ignore the negative comments and move on with your life.
    I'd say that a child with no father is more likely to get teased, than a kid with a SAHD.

    OT: Also, i may be wrong, but as far as i know, it is only Vermont that allows gay marriages, but Florida is the only one to allow same sex adoption. Sorry, but this really looks quite silly~
    I am wondering, does anyone have any idea what reasons are used in either state behind passing one law, but holding back on the other?
    It's pretty obvious that most people choose to be married with children, no matter what their sexual orientation is.
  13. by   mario_ragucci
    Since I listen to FM radio alot, I am familiar with the advertsements.

    The neatest one is a "prize" to send your kids to the "better" daycare centers for a year, free. This is interesting, because, here, it's accepted that not being with your own kid is a valued service.

    I saw the daycare center at the hospital. It was attached to, but seperate from the facility.

    You must constantly interact with kids, or they will grow up to be dim-witted and socially withdrawn. I'm sorry :-(

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