Do any fem. nurses here have Stay at Home husbands/SOs ?

[Anagray]

I know, i ask tons of questions - but i can't help it. I want to know.

Do any of you have husbands who are staying at home looking after children and u are the breadwinner?

I'm 27, my son is 3 and my husband is 45. He's been working for the same company for 25 years and is tired of working.

I, on another have, have a lot of ambition for working and studying. I've been pretty much staying home with my son for the first 2 years (working only a few hours a week, so I don;t go insane from being SAHM), now i'm ready to go out and take care of my career.

I would really love to have another child before I'm 35, I am also planning on continuing my education after nursing school.

I am hoping i can have another baby and have my husband try being SAH dad.

where we live things are relatively cheap - my dh makes about 50K a year, on that salary we live in a nice development, pretty big house ( still have mortgage payments), both have good cars, able to go on vacations once a year and i don't feel myself stranded for money, but then again, I don't need much to be happy.

anyway, my question is this - Is it realisticly possible for me to switch roles with dh after nursing school? (ps - i will also have loans to pay , about 15 K)

Thanks for any infromation!!

[mario_ragucci]

Originally posted by bobbiesal

It has taught them that anyone can cook & clean & run errands, that the world doesn't have to be one that assigns jobs based on chromosomal makeup. That personality, much more than sex, determines who should raise kids and who should be the breadwinner.

bobbie

I agree very much wit this. Brain matter knows no sex...it's the other pathways. Well, birth related hormones are in the brain I think, so I just shot myself down :-(

chromosome is comprised of meiosis and lots of cross over. Stuff like being intelligent has so much to do with what you observe and then remember how it will be positive when you try.

[E. Obrosky]

For your self, you NEED to have a job/career. Husbands can die, be disabled, leave. Get an associate degree first. You can get in the job market sooner. Then get your B.S.N. when you can. Be sure your hub keeps his contacts and job skills current, and if possible, working from home. He can increase his hours at home or out of home when the kids go to school. There may come a time later when you are burnt out & need his help w/ finances.

[mario_ragucci]

Originally posted by E. Obrosky

There may come a time later when you are burnt out & need his help w/ finances.

Lol, you know as well as I do, once a person is burnt out, they can not be re-lit. Thats why it's called burnt out.

Neil Young said it best. He said, "it's better to burn out than it is to rust"

[bungies]

Originally posted by mario_ragucci

Lol, you know as well as I do, once a person is burnt out, they can not be re-lit. Thats why it's called burnt out.

Neil Young said it best. He said, "it's better to burn out than it is to rust"

Surely better not to burn out at all, Mario!

I'm just 6 months into my Graduate year and my husband is currently working at the Immunology Dept. of a local university packing media plates into boxes (oh, but you need a Science degree to pack boxes at a uni - would you believe it?)

We've discussed several times him staying home when we have our kids and me working. I think it's a great idea in one respect, as his current job isn't exactly challenging, and his degree is a bit eclectic to lead to anything concrete, but I also feel that not working - even by choice - is frequently bad for self esteem. Even friends who are stay-at-home mothers have said the same thing.

Our solution is that while I work full time this year and next, he'll do post-grad study in teaching, then we'll both work part time (3-4 days). This will allow for some time together as a family, very little or no time in childcare, and still bring in enough to live quite comfortably on.

I don't know if that's helpful, Anagray. You know your hubby best - he might be happy at home, but perhaps even better off looking into retraining for something he really wants to do while at home. Just a thought!

Kathy

[roobeary]

Yes I work and my hubby stays home with the kids, however he is disabled and unable to work but he tries so very hard to help at home as much as possible and he still fulfills the Biblical obligations as the husband in the home just not the one of financial support and we are ok with that. He is the one who goes on field trips and goes to teacher conferences and makes phone calls and takes the kids to the various functions they are involved in and with 3 kids that is alot of functions. He is truly a Mr. Mom. He makes the cupcakes and things for school, he does most of the homework with all the kids, and takes care of them when they are home sick. He is truly a fantastic hubby. And I appreciate all he does, even with his limitations due to his disabilities he does so many things for the kids that they would not get if both parents were working. :)

[Shandy12]

I stayed home with the boys, cause DH was a dairy farmer on the family farm, and I didn't want to milk cows.

I've always said that nursing has been the most wonderful thing for me. I stayed home when I wanted to, and found work when I wanted to.

I've always been able to come back to nursing in one form or another, and now that our sons are grown, I am going full tilt again, doing things I want to in my career.

Dh was a great dad, and good provider and we've had a good life up until now. I think you have to take the path that life hands you. If Dad can stay home and Mom work, why not? It doesn't matter as long as the kidlets are loved and made to feel secure, and not a nuisance or hindrance.

Shandy

[rondafan]

I have been the bread winner in my household for 5 years now. I went to school, then nursing school with 3 kids at home ages 3 DAYS, 7, & 14. My hubbie was a truck driver that was gone for 2 weeks home for 2 days. He never could understand the struggles I had to finally graduate with honors. He came in off the road, & I started my new career. He was wonderful with the school parties, he coaches a softball team for our middle child now 13, he cooks, cleans, & shops. My job is to work. He has now completed HIS 1st year of nursing school & still manages to keep up with the house. I work 40-50 hrs a week so he doesn't have to work. My income covers it & sends us on family vacations so far to Jamaica & Cancun. I'm really gonna hate it when he graduates in May of 03 then i'll have to do some work around the house again. My 2 oldest got to be home with Mommy, & the youngest, now 6, was home with Daddy. They are very well devolped kids so I don't think it matters in my case who the keeper of the kids are. But the youngest girl does like to fish, & play with bugs. I guess she gets that from her dad. haha

[Grace Oz]

Live & let live I say!!...Whatever works best for us as individuals & /or couples is the way to go.

So long as one partner is not having " a life" at the "expense" of the other. The only thing children really need is love, consistency, someone to depend on & trust & be a good role model. Whether that be a male, female, heterosexual, homosexual, Mum, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa... is irrelevant.

Happy working & Happy parenting folks!!

Cheers

Grace.

[live4today, RN]

Found out from my youngest daughter that she wants to be the one who works while her hubby stays home with their three children. She told me that my son-in-law has the patience for the children, and so he should be the one to stay home with them full-time. Whether or not hubby agrees to do this or not is yet to be verbalized from him. :chuckle So....guess that's one child down and two to go for opinions on hubby vs. wife staying home with the rugrats among my three adult daughters. My oldest one loves working part-time, but her hubby wants her home full-time. So far, she is winning that war. My middle daughter is a divorced mom with a son about to enter kindergarten. She has a S.O. who she wishes WOULD get motivated enough to earn a decent living instead of surfing from one job to another. She's a LPN going for her RN and will more than likely dump him when he no longer serves a purpose. She's my strongwilled independent watch out for number one daughter. I find all three of my daughters KNOW what they want and KNOW how to go about getting it, so maybe I didn't do too bad a job raising them afterall. :chuckle

[mattsmom81]

They're not nurses, but my brother stays home with the kiddos while my SIL works....she is a teacher...teaches music and directs high school Band. :)

He is a professional musician and picks up some gigs on the weekend (weddings, church services, etc) when she is home.

They have made this work well for them...they have 3 boys all in diapers (say a prayer for my brother's sanity, guys...LOL!) and the cost of daycaring all 3 could not be offset by my brothers work...so it makes fiscal sense for him to stay home with 'da boys'. :)

[kippercol]

From an Australian point of veiw, being a nurse has always been an advantage when raising my four children. I had 4 children over 11 years and managed to work all but 12 months of the whole 4 pregnancies. That is 12 months maternity leave out of the allowed 48months. I have found the advantage of shift work a Godsend. My husband has managed to work fulltime while I usually managed to work around his work and doing 3-4 casual shifts a week. We have never used childcare of any sort. My youngest is now 9 and my husband and I are both working fulltime-he works in the afternoons and I work mornings. We have 1 full day off together and 2 evenings at home together. We rarely see each other but maybe that's why our marriage has lasted 23 years, because we make the most of our time when we are together. The kids say they prefer it this way as well because they receive more quality time from the parent at home because the other parent isn't taking away the attention from the children.

[Teggie]

What works for some families may not work for others. I have to beleive that whats good for the kids and family is whats best. This is 2004 lol not 1950.

I have a nursing degree and the capability to be able to work 24-36 hrs a week and still bring home a decent paycheck. My husband does not have a degree, he is a simple high school educated fella, any job he could get that would pay anything would require him to be away from home frequently forcing our 3 kids into daycare, and then a majority of what he made would be spent on childcare. He also has a bad back and neck limiting the types of work he could do. My husband takes care of the kids, takes them to and fro to school, takes care of the house, takes care of me, keeps the yard up and works in his shop woodworking or keeping the vehicles running. I help with the house on my days off, and we do the shopping and stuff together. He has time to do fun stuff and so do I since I'm not burdened with everything I can enjoy my days off. I make enough to keep us comfortable, he makes things easier for me, I don't have to pay a daycare and I don't have to worry about whether my kids are being taken care of. That in itself is worth it to me. Is he lazy? No he's not, he's often more tired than I at the end of the day.

To us it is the fact that it is more profitable for me to work than him at this time. It works for us.

Kudos! Teggie