Dislike towards the patient whom I know outside work

  1. I soon will be starting a job in dialysis. Yay!
    In the same facility my former dentist goes to. I feel really bad about this person. He really messed up my teeth and was very unprofessional and neglectful towards me. He has no ethics or conscience. I don't wanna go in too many details here. And I don't even know how I will interact with that person again and as their nurse especially. I will be as professional as I should just like with all the other patients. but being friendly or having a small talk with this person seems like will be way too hard for me to do.
    What do you do in a situation when you have such a strong dislike for a patient whom you know outside work and have personal reasons to dislike?
    Last edit by ClumsyOne on Jan 1 : Reason: added to clarify
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  2. 28 Comments

  3. by   SmilingBluEyes
    I would remove myself from his care in any way possible. If this means trading assignments, or to the extreme, a patient you will see on the regular (like in dialysis 3 days a week, moving to another clinic)-----whatever it takes. DO NOT be in the position to care for this person.
  4. by   ClumsyOne
    Why?
    I'm afraid I won't be in a position to switch clinics for a while. Can the nurse though ask tochange the assignment and refuse to treat the patient?
  5. by   Scottishtape
    Tell your supervisor that you and that patient have an outside personal relationship and it's a conflict of interest to be his nurse.

    That should be enough for them to put him with a different nurse.

    I would not take care of that patient either.
  6. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Ok in dialysis, you see them on the REGULAR, 3 days a week minimum. You CAN work the other side, and have your co-nurse care for that person. That would be best. HOWEVER chair assignments/times change and nurses cover each other for breaks. If you cannot be objective in rendering care to said patient, you should NOT be in the position to care for him. I know of what I speak; I have worked in dialysis. You see them ALL the time. Either change your attitude and see beyond your intense dislike, or move on. It's not possible to refuse to render care for the patient, once you accept your assignment. You WILL have to "cross over" to the other side from time to time to care for him, unless he's in ISO or in a buffer zone---and you don't touch any patients where he sits. Otherwise, I would advise you get over it and be professional.
  7. by   Wuzzie
    Quote from SmilingBluEyes
    Ok in dialysis, you see them on the REGULAR, 3 days a week minimum. You CAN work the other side, and have your co-nurse care for that person. That would be best. HOWEVER chair assignments/times change and nurses cover each other for breaks. If you cannot be objective in rendering care to said patient, you should NOT be in the position to care for him. I know of what I speak; I have worked in dialysis. You see them ALL the time. Either change your attitude and see beyond your intense dislike, or move on. It's not possible to refuse to render care for the patient, once you accept your assignment. You WILL have to "cross over" to the other side from time to time to care for him, unless he's in ISO or in a buffer zone---and you don't touch any patients where he sits. Otherwise, I would advise you get over it and be professional.
    While I completely agree with this the problem is if the dentist has a mutual dislike for the OP then he could very easily turn that into complaints about her care which would put her at risk professionally and potentially could get very, very ugly. OP I think you need to have a conversation with your supervisor and explain the situation ASAP. I would let her know that you will be the consummate professional and would never refuse to care for him but you are concerned that he could make trouble for you. That way you fulfill your duties and she has a heads up in case things go south.
  8. by   ClumsyOne
    That is another concern of mine. I'm gonna have 90 day training in another clinic before I start working in this one.
  9. by   SmilingBluEyes
    It's true complaints and grievances are frequent in dialysis. If he feels your dislike, notices you avoiding him, he may make an issue out of it. That is why I recommended working in another clinic. Or you could start fresh with a patient/nurse relationship and hope the past does not negatively influence that.

    It sounds like you have real issues with this guy. It will translate to real issues for you as a nurse, too. Trust me. The patient nearly is always right, in dialysis, more than anywhere else I have worked.
  10. by   ClumsyOne
    Would you be able to put that aside and start anew with a patient? He is very experienced and expensive dentist, and that is why I went to his office, but the way he treated me made me think that he is rather a sociopath than just incompetent. I had to get back my money through carecredit, and now will have to spend so much more on fixing what he has done.

    Thank you for your opinion! I am trying to think it through and see how to not let my emotions get in the way of my work (meaning how to actually let it go and act like nothing happened, although I will probably have to talk to my supervisor at some poin and ask not to assign me to work with that patient)
  11. by   KatieMI
    If you can step over your feelings and just see a poor human being living quite a miserable life now, please go ahead and do it. Even if he screwed up uour teeth once. Such moments are what make nursing precious, IMHO.

    I once cared for a patient who was one of most malignant, NETY-loving high profile managers I knew. She did not personally harrassed me, but I knew that it was, for a large, her influence which made possible all the hell I went through in my first year. I had no choice as I was only one in the unit available for that specific (technical and very painful) task. Hearing her barely whispering "thank you" in the short minutes she could breathe on her own was something I will remember till I am alive.

    Otherwise, just go to your manager and honestly let her know that the guy and you are too well familiar to each other outside of setting and, as an acquaintance, you do not want run into HIPAA/ethic/blah issues. It is a common occurence in community setting and shouldn't be an issue.
    Last edit by KatieMI on Jan 2
  12. by   Been there,done that
    I've been on the receiving end of a sociopathic dentist. Watch Marathon Man. I had a root canal with no lidocaine.. the jerk enjoyed it.
    I myself, would make it work for me. Paybacks are a beyotch.
    Last edit by Been there,done that on Jan 2
  13. by   ClumsyOne
    Quote from KatieMI
    If you can step over your feelings and just see a poor human being living quite a miserable life now, please go ahead and do it. Even if he screwed up uour teeth once. Such moments are what make nursing precious, IMHO.



    Even if I put it behind (not quite sure yet how , there is no guarantee that a person like him will be acting normal and not constantly complain about me, as someone else mentioned.

    I see your point. I did communicate a lot with difficult people, although not in a clinical setting yet. I am very empathic myself. I always try to find good in people. But this one is the whole different level. ugh
    Last edit by ClumsyOne on Jan 2
  14. by   ClumsyOne
    Quote from Been there,done that
    I've been on the receiving end of a sociopathic dentist. Watch Marathon Man. I had a root canal with no lidocaine.. the jerk enjoyed it.
    I myself, would make it work for me. Paybacks are a beyotch.

    Ouch! I am sorry you've gone through that.
    Last edit by ClumsyOne on Jan 2

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