Disgusting Behavior of Nurses

  1. I am just flabbergasted. My best friend, who is manic depressive is an excellent, organized nurse who really puts a positive foot in her work. Since her last manic episode, she has really been diligent in taking her meds. A downfall of the medication is that her hair has broken off and she gained weight. Because of that, she decided to cut her hair very short and wear it natural (she is African American). Sometimes, it is a short afro, other times, small twists.

    Well, this morning, in front of at least 10 other witnesses, a head nurse walked up to her and said that her hair is horrible, she looks disheveled and also looks homeless. She also said that 'everyone is talking about it' and it appears that she is decomposing 'before their very eyes'. My friend was horrified, to say the least. She called me on my cell phone as I was on my way to work and told me this. This is the first day of her vacation and this is how it is supposed to start??

    First off, did this woman even think...my friend was very meticulous in how she wore her hair in the past...now that it had broken off, and she has to pay cash for her medication to keep her stable, she decided that it was not worth spending money on the chemicals-it was wiser to take her medications as prescribed. Can that make her happy? But, she accepted it and make accomodations for her new hair.

    All I can say is if I were present to witness such behavior, especially after knowing what my friend went through, I would have probably been the one suspended by the time I put that witch in her place. See, this is why nursing is going down. We can't even respect or show empathy for each other. It is all about embarassment, harassment, competition and insults. What has this line of work come to where our so-called leaders can get away with this?

    My friend reported this to the Director of Nursing. Thank goodness, before she became a nurse, she was the DON's private secretary and she adores my friend. She told her that she WILL speak to that fool before the end of the day. Also, you never know who you are speaking to. This sorry head nurse doesn't even know that the DON and my friend are so close that she has been invited to spend the weekend with the DON many times over the years, with her children and the DON has also paid my friend's tuition for her daughter to attend private school. My friend, however, is not a name dropper, nor does she exploit her relationship with this woman. Oh, I am so angry...
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  2. 98 Comments

  3. by   carolinapooh
    Man, I'll tell you what - whoever said that is leaving herself wide open for a fat lawsuit.

    Me? If I were African-American, I'd wear my hair that short! As it is, I'm white, and my hair would be so thin at that length I actually would look homeless - or, at the very least, like I'd needed a cut after a rather tragic case of head lice.

    Give your friend a big hug from me!! And tell her I hope the DON nails this tool to the wall.

    PS - nursing's got nothing to do with that. That woman would be that way regardless of her occupation. Ignorance - and I don't even know that I dare to dignify that with the word 'ignorance' - is everywhere...
  4. by   nerdtonurse?
    I had a dayshift charge nurse say something like about how bad I looked -- I'd had to change into OR scrubs because I had a pt who had cdiff and managed to hurl all over me as I was trying to keep her from falling out of bed and breaking the OTHER hip, and I know I probably looked like I'd spent half the night slinging vomit. This is the same one who makes snippy comments about everyone who's not in her little circle of toadies...

    What I did was laugh like it was a joke, pat her on the shoulder, and say, "gee, you're looking particularly hag like yourself this morning" and never stopped moving....
  5. by   carolinapooh
    OMG - ROTFLMAO!!!

    You're my kind of RN!! LOVE THIS.
  6. by   BabyLady
    Quote from carolinapooh
    Man, I'll tell you what - whoever said that is leaving herself wide open for a fat lawsuit.

    Me? If I were African-American, I'd wear my hair that short! As it is, I'm white, and my hair would be so thin at that length I actually would look homeless - or, at the very least, like I'd needed a cut after a rather tragic case of head lice.

    Give your friend a big hug from me!! And tell her I hope the DON nails this tool to the wall.

    PS - nursing's got nothing to do with that. That woman would be that way regardless of her occupation. Ignorance - and I don't even know that I dare to dignify that with the word 'ignorance' - is everywhere...
    Careful...just because someone tells you that you look like a trainwreck doesn't mean that it was racially motivated.

    To me, to make that kind of assumption, is racist in and of itself.

    That is the trouble with America...if someone of the same race makes a negative remark to you...then they are just being rude...if they are not of the same race, people assume they are being racist.

    Granted, the woman's comments were completely uncalled for. Some women of color that have ethnic hair do have to spend substantial amounts of money to maintain it and because of the natural dryness of some of the hair...the wrong products, treatment or medications can cause it to snap right off.

    I have a friend, who is white, that has lost a ton of hair due to a medication that she is on, and it is devastating to her self-esteem.

    But I think we all need to be careful before we slap a racism sticker on it.
  7. by   carolinapooh
    Quote from BabyLady
    Careful...just because someone tells you that you look like a trainwreck doesn't mean that it was racially motivated.

    To me, to make that kind of assumption, is racist in and of itself.

    That is the trouble with America...if someone of the same race makes a negative remark to you...then they are just being rude...if they are not of the same race, people assume they are being racist.

    Granted, the woman's comments were completely uncalled for. Some women of color that have ethnic hair do have to spend substantial amounts of money to maintain it and because of the natural dryness of some of the hair...the wrong products, treatment or medications can cause it to snap right off.

    I have a friend, who is white, that has lost a ton of hair due to a medication that she is on, and it is devastating to her self-esteem.

    But I think we all need to be careful before we slap a racism sticker on it.
    NEVER implied it was racist or racially motivated and wasn't even thinking it. My point was that if I wore my hair that short, I'd look like a ragamuffin because I'd look as though I had none. If I could wear my hair like Halle Berry's used to be, I would.

    Racism has nothing to do with what that nurse said - and everything to do with her being a complete idiot.

    My family is literally as diverse as the UN so the last thing I generally think about anything is race.

    Why would you think racism was implied by my statement? The statement bolded above is certainly loaded and implies I'm fairly narrowminded - which I can assure you I'm not. You put "black" or "white" in a sentence and people automatically assume you're making something a race issue, when it's not the case at all.

    I'm really offended by this for some reason, but will let it go so as not to hijack the thread.
  8. by   shoegalRN
    I'm really offended by that nurse's behavior. I am an African American woman and I wear my hair natural as well. Just last night while at work, I was asked about my "big hair" more than once. My hair is natural curly and I wear it in an afro puff pulled back while at work.

    Some people really need to think before they open their mouths.
  9. by   pagandeva2000
    I am African American as well and would be offended. Just to clarify, however, ALL nurses involved were Black, not just my friend. If anything, my friend told me, she felt that she was more singled out by the comment that by wearing her hair this way, she appeared to be decompensating, because of her history of being manic depressive. She took that as a personal slight. Even if it did appear this way, to make a comment like that in front of 10 witnesses is not therapeutic, to say the least. It was embarassing and cruel.

    While I am cognizant that this sort of behavior is not limited to nursing, I made that comment because no matter what level of nurse we are, our education has taught us to not just nuture our patients, but each other. This is why nursing is going down, I feel...because it is bad enough that we have to be insulted and berated by physicians, patients and family. Does it have to come from each other as well? How well do we think that a person who is insulted daily can perform quality patient care if they are intimidated and their self esteem is shot by our peers?
  10. by   ipcarpio
    Im just a nursing student from the philippines.man your right!we are slowly l0sing the true meaning of being a nurse.we lose that convicti0n and passion to care for the sick and improve the quality of their life,and worse,we bec0me a tool for the degradation of our patients m0rale..thats n0t right..i d0nt want to be like that head nurse someday when i bec0me an RN
  11. by   rnlately
    Quote from nurse2be09
    I'm really offended by that nurse's behavior. I am an African American woman and I wear my hair natural as well. Just last night while at work, I was asked about my "big hair" more than once. My hair is natural curly and I wear it in an afro puff pulled back while at work.

    Some people really need to think before they open their mouths.
    When I read what the OP had witnessed I was just as incensed as she was and I wasn't even there. The supervisor should have gotten a full understanding of the lady's situation before she attempted to belittle her. I swear women (and not just nurses) can be so catty at times. I'm glad the DON isn't going to let this go. However short or long her hair is has nothing to do with how she delivers patient care. Some people just cannot handle authority and find every little thing to nit pick at.

    Nurse2be (slightly off topic) I too used to wear a huge puff and have been loced since 2006. Nothing wrong with natural, short, curly or big hair at all; regardless of race. It seems that we're both fortunate to work for companies that realize that.
  12. by   NickiLaughs
    I look homeless when I've worked 5 12's in a row..... But I still take good care of my patients. My goal is to have them look better than me at the end of the shift.

    In any case, that was horribly rude and I'm so sorry that happened to your friend. Totally inappropriate and I hope she is disciplined for it.
  13. by   NucieNuce
    Im so sorry for your friend. Here is a web site that I frequent that may help her with her hair (I am AA as well).
    www.longhaircareforum.com Please tell her to keep her head up!
  14. by   donsterRN
    I think what the had nurse did to your friend was not only incredibly insensitive, it was mean spirited and deliberate. I'm glad your friend said something to the DON.

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