Date my Doctor/Employer?

  1. Hi guys. I have a rather complicated story, but i'll make it short and sweet. I recently graduated with my BSN (just applied for the masters program ) and just started seeing a neurologist for migraine/tension type headaches. However, when I first saw my doctor, I was blown away by him, but I would remain professional due to HIPAA and medical ethics codes. In a span of a month, I had seen him for routine appointments 5 times (I thought that was a little much). At my last appointment, he had asked if I would want a CRNP job working for him. But the way he asked made me get to thinking. First he called me from the exam room to his office, very professional. But once I got there, he pulled out "the doctors" chair for me to sit in, and he sat on the corner of his desk facing me to ask. So in my opinion, he was trying to "hit" on me, because he also knows that I just graduated and don't have my CRNP yet, not even close. I decline the offer, stating that I am happy where I am, but am very flattered. To end the story, my medication was doing fine, and he wanted to see me again in 3 weeks, and only wrote a month script for it. Got me thinking again. Last week, I was working out and saw him at my gym, and we exchanged looks, but kept it professional. He called to check in on me to make sure I wasn't having any worsening headaches, and I mentioned seeing him, and he wanted to work out next time we saw each other at the gym. So, from other nurse's insight, is he keeping just a professional relationship or wants more than that? I don't want to switch MD's if I don't have to. Any ideas on how to see if he wants to go out? :heartbeat
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    About newlilrn

    Joined: Apr '09; Posts: 5; Likes: 3


  3. by   Jolie
    Why not just be upfront and ask him?

    If you decide to date, ask him for a referral to a new doctor.
  4. by   AlabamaBelle
    :yeahthat: What Jolie said
  5. by   Pixie.RN
    His behavior sounds a little ... stalker-ish, I suppose. I guess it could be coincidence that you go to the same gym, but the numerous appointments and writing short-term scrips sounds a little manipulative. I could be wrong -- it happens! He could just be very interested. If the interest is mutual, I'd do as Jolie suggested -- ask him. Then change docs.
  6. by   Prettyladie
    ask him!! lol. dont be scared of his aggressiveness. obviously he is very interested. he keeps giving you these appointments because he wants to seeee you =) next time, ask him, and if he says no, which i dont see why he would, but if he does dont be hurt, just let it go. its just like you turning down that job. no biggie.
  7. by   newlilrn
    But is it against hipaa still to ask? That's my problem! I feel like the angel and devil are sitting on my shoulders
  8. by   Pixie.RN
    How would this be a HIPAA violation?
  9. by   azhiker96
    In this case you are the patient and he is the caregiver. He is at great risk here. Imagine if one of your patients wanted to start dating you. It could jeopardize your license. I attended a BON hearing in school as an observer. One of the cases revolved around a nursing student who started dating one if his patients. The BON didn't like it to put it midly. I don't think it hinges on HIPPA as much as it does professional ethics. You don't mention so I'll ask. Is he married? If you don't know, find out.
    If you do talk with him and decide to go on a date, I'd suggest getting a referral from him to another doctor to manage your headaches. That will help protect him from claims of impropriety. Good luck with whatever you decide.
  10. by   newlilrn
    No, not married. Haven't asked, assuming- no ring. Young and just finished his fellowships.
  11. by   SoCaliGirl
    McDreamy didn't wear a ring either.

    And on a serious note, I would wait for him to make an official move. But that's just me. I was just thinking about how if I were in the situation, and he wasn't looking for a date, I wouldn't want to risk the potential gossip that he could pass along about me.

    If he likes you, he will definitely find a way to ask you out.
  12. by   Overland1
    Looks to be a really fun sort of gentleman to me...

  13. by   feralnostalgia
    Quote from azhiker96
    One of the cases revolved around a nursing student who started dating one if his patients. The BON didn't like it to put it midly.
    not that this is how I'm planning to get dates in the future, but once the person is better, what's the problem? is it just an issue if the person is still a patient? I could see how it would be unprofessional (and profoundly unethical) for someone like a psychotherapist to date their patients, current or former, but why for a nurse? is it ok for nurses to date someone they met as a patient who is no longer in their care?

    what about someone who was your loved one (friend/family/spouse) before they needed nursing care, and they came to you first? my friends have encouraged me to become a midwife so I could deliver their babies. I've thought about being the on-site healthcare provider for a rural co-op or something once I have the training and experience to do so. I've always thought half the reason I was becoming a nurse was so I could be valuable to friends and family in that way. am I not supposed to treat my loved ones at all?

    hitting on someone who's under your care - I can see why this is a no-no, and would never do it even if it were socially acceptable
    hitting on a former patient who you no longer care for - is this taboo too? again, not how I'm planning to do things, but I'm curious.
    caring for someone you had a relationship with beforehand - is this a problem? should I not be planning on delivering friends' babies?
  14. by   UdonNomi
    I'd be more worried about what his wife would do than HIPPA.