Confessions of a 30-Something RN Grad

I am in the seat, feeling comfortable, calm (even though I have went through enough security to enter Fort Knox). I read through the instructions as to not miss anything. "You have 6 hours...." Sounds good, all is well..... Nurses Announcements Archive Article

First question, okay, 50/50.....A or C..... hmmm...A.... "next".....2nd question.....what? What are they asking? These are all right, and there are no indicators in the question showing priority. Can I ask them "is this patient stable?" "how old are they?" "should I assume they are anxious?"....Can I phone a friend?

Okay, quit assuming, take the question at face value......uh......well, if I were getting this done, this is what I would want to know.......B........

Right about question 8 I hear the girl next to me groan. Then about 10 questions later she does a big sigh, then a few later she says, "Oh gosh." Seriously? Shut-up.....I am freaking out, too. The least you can do is give me some silence, right? Maybe I should've said yes to those earplugs.

Where's the delegation? Where is the alternate question with apical pulse location? Where are the labs? Where is the question on crutches?

Why do I get the feeling they are asking me about the same thing over and over? Maybe they are thinking (I have now humanized the NCLEX monster as "they") if I give her the question 5 or 6 more times, maybe she'll get it right.....then.......

Black screen.....wait! They are thinking....we gave her every shot possible, but she blew it. 75 questions, and I knew the answer to a whopping.....TWO (with certainty).

I do the outgoing survey, looking for the question that says, do you think this test was made as an evil joke? "Strongly agree"

I again get fingerprinted (I am thinking, if you think I actually paid this pathetic looking, short-haired blonde girl in sweatpants to take the test for me, then she did a poor job.....I am demanding a refund). I courteously smile and get my stuff. Then I realize, it's time to hit the potty. My stomach is gurgling, and I can actually see my heartbeat in my abdomen. It is pounding. I get into my car, deciding who won't think I am crazy if I call in this state of mind. Okay, my hubby, of course, he always makes me feel better. "Oh, that stinks." Is his response to my description. "When can you take it again?" I'm thinking "I DON'T KNOW, I DIDN'T PLAN ON FAILING!" You're not helping, click......then, my mom. Mom's always make you feel better, right? "Oh sweetie, it's not the end of the world, you can just take it over." Again, not what I wanted to hear.

At this point I am hoping that Ashton pops out from behind the car next to me with his trendy hair and crooked smile and says, "You've been Punk'd!" so that I can slap him in the face or kick him where the sun don't shine or something equally degrading.

Where are all of my girlfriends who are RNs? Voicemail, Voicemail, Voicemail.

I am sitting in a random parking lot thinking, "Maybe I'll just tell everyone that I had to reschedule, then take the exam again before anybody finds out that I've failed." How vain is that?!

Ugh!!! My stomach is hurting again. I get a few calls/texts and I can't bear to tell the whole ugly story again.

I get home (I can't even remember driving really....it feels like I got home in 5 minutes). I sit on my couch for about 45 minutes.....no TV, no kids, no talking, maybe even no blinking. I didn't take the NCLEX serious enough. I should've done a different review. I should've done more questions. I should've taken it later or maybe earlier or maybe I should've just NOT studied.

Of course, nothing on BRN the next day, the day after that, I wake up at 0500 and check...nope...I am even looking on allnurses.com to see what the odds are of failing at 75 questions. Meanwhile, I am talking to people now. I am trying to convince myself that I am okay with whatever happens (of course, I am MORE okay with passing!). I contemplate setting my alarm for 0200 Saturday morning (I've heard the BRN updates their website at 0200 for the previous day). I decide that if it isn't there, it will ruin the rest of my night's sleep, so I pass on the alarm idea.

Saturday morning, I sleep in, 0900.......I click on my bookmark (yes, I have bookmarked it).....type my last name.......can you believe it? There is another woman in my county with the same name....well, that is annoying, even SHE passed the NCLEX....wait....oh, okay, I think I can actually hear the word relief as I exhale. Now, I can drop the weight on my chest and the pit from my stomach. Phew.

Moral of the story, sometimes the signs and symptoms (abdominal pain, bounding pulse, anxiety, feelings of impending doom) don't match the diagnosis (Effective testing output r/t using my noggin aeb name showing up on BRN site)

What's next?

You mean, now I have to find a job? My stomach hurts again.

This article is just what i needed. I have been out of active nursing for a number of years and even though I hold an active license from another state, this new state required a refresher course which included clinicals and retaking the NCLEX. I have spent three hours on the phone over the past two days trying to register to take the NCLEX. The testing center still had me listed under my former name from many, many years ago, but now I am registered and waiting for my ATT so I can schedule my testing date. The upset stomach has already started. LOL.

Wish me luck.

Start2

Specializes in Midwifery, surgical nursing.

So... I turned 51 yesterday, and took the NCLEX-RN today. I KNOW I failed - went all the way to 265 questions... and now you will see the first person to fail with a good pop-up. Me!

My story is a little different - foreign grad (in 1982) been here in the US a bunch of years and just recently was able to get my paperwork from all over the world organized enough to get my ATT. Long story which I won't go into. Last time I RN-ed was in 1996, just before my youngest was born...

We'll see what the official results say, but IF I actually did pass, it is nothing short of a miracle, because only God could have got me through! Time will tell...

Specializes in Midwifery, surgical nursing.

I PASSED!!!

Same feeling of failure for me after it shut off on question 75. I think I was curled up in a fetal position for the entire day after I got home lol

Wow. I can feel your anxiety and I'm still one quarter from applying for the nursing program. SCARY! I've had my own experiences and while I look forward to school, the NCLEX scares the crap out of me. I took the exam to become a licensed massage practitioner and it was similar (Fort Knox) and I thought I would fail. I was scared and when I left I swear my legs were shaking. Years later, I barely made it through the CNA exam we have in Washington where you have to demonstrate your skills without messing anything up. I was told that there was a lady who failed everyone and the pass rate was low; our instructor warned us to go out of the city for our certification. Well, I was so nervous that I was nauseous, skaky, I spilled a basin of water, didn't take enough supplies with me for the bed bath, lost the pulse several times, and I completed my skills within only 8 seconds of the 25 minutes we were allowed for our five skills. I did pass (miraculously, and I thought it was a typo) but I was so nervous that when I finished that I hugged my partner, a complete stranger, and thought I was going to cry. I am an honor roll student and despite how hard I work for my GPA I'll admit I that get comfortable at times. I am grateful that I have been told by many that your grades do not guarantee passing the NCLEX because I know now that I will have to work that much harder, and I will not let myself feel comfortable for one second. Memorizing answers and thinking critically are two different things, and I hope that I will come to really understand what I am learning in nursing school. Congratulations on your success and thank you for sharing!

Congratulations!!!

Very well written. Have a feeling that your sense of humor will carry you through.

Let us know what position you accept!