blended families

majrn · Jan 19, 2003

Renerian, there is hope, I am 37, came from a blended family. My parents divorced when I was 7. Lived with my bio brother and at least 3 of my step fathers 4 children at one time or another while still in elem/middle/high school. It is not easy. Too bad there arent some written directions. There were jealousy issues on my stepfathers part as his children were not well behaved, hadnt had adequate parenting, and were not as academically talented as my brother and I were. We bore the brunt of that jealousy and were often denied priviledges because of it.(This I came to realize only after I was out of the house). Hang in there, when kids are all out of the house, you'll see that most of them are no worse for the wear so to speak and that everyone has turned out pretty well considering. Good Luck

ageless · Jan 19, 2003

We are a blended family that works. 2 his and 2 mine all in the same house, but we decided along time ago to forget which ones are which. Its only as complicated as one makes it. No different then if one has a biological child and then an adopted one..would that mother love one more than the other?

renerian, BSN, RN · Jan 19, 2003

Thanks everyone for replying. We are hanging in there. Three are gone from home, next year another one then in three years the last will go away to college. Not looking for answers just wondered how many others were dealing with the dynamics.

Again thanks,

renerian

KaroSnowQueen, RN · Jan 20, 2003

When I met DH, he had two kids, 6 and 4. I had three kids, 6, 5, and 3. Five kids six and under. We married less than 2 years later. Now the kids are 22, 22, 21, 20 and 19. 21 and 19 still at home. Kids meshed together, some probs with one being hyper and a real PITA (HIS KID) but as they got older things mellowed out and they are all very close. 21 had a stillborn baby last month and the two stepsiblings were here at the hospital and cried and worried just as much as teh others. They do not refer to their siblings as steps, just brothers and sisters. It took a lot of work, but feel great about it. My kids call him Dad and his kids call me Mommee. By their choice, we never insisted in any way. Thought a few years about having one together but never worked out that way.

His youngest had learning disabilities, and his oldest was undiagnosed ADHD for years!!!!!!!!! My boy had congenital blindness in one eye, and the three youngest ones had a lot of illnesses. His oldest was always in the ER, fell out of a tree and stuck a branch though his back at 6 and that was just the beginning!!!!!!!

It will all work through, the troubles will ease, and they will (I HOPE) all leave home eventually!!!!!

renerian, BSN, RN · Jan 20, 2003

Snowqueen wow you have had a passel of kids! I hope ours turn out as close as yours are.

Somehow I doubt that.

renerian

jschut, BSN, RN · Jan 20, 2003

You may be very pleasantly surprised...

My son (my hubby's son actually) calls me Mom. I am his Mom and he is my son. I love him just as if I gave birth to him. Wouldn't trade that boy for anything....

He had a rough start in life with his bio-mom...he tells me about it sometimes. But he knows he can come to me or ask me anything. And just like a Mom, I can tell him that he's nuts...and he still loves me.

He's the best! :)

renerian, BSN, RN · Jan 20, 2003

Julie you are so lucky.

renerian

RRMLPN · Jan 20, 2003

I brought 3 of my own into our marriage and bryan had 2 girls that lived with his ex-wife, all in the same town, the kids did great together, his girls call me mom and mine (except for my son) call him dad, they are very close in age 19, 17, 16, 15, 14 with the bot being the oldest. I think it helped that they all were very young when we blended. there have been problems, but we all learned together and i think the strongest force in all of that was the fact my hubby and i presented a united front, no manipulation allowed from any of the kids. And none from the ex'es either lol. I found myself frustrated at times and yes once or twice i heard the "your not my mom" but i always tried to be there for all of them and as they have gotten older it's been better. never an easy situation and different for each family.

renerian, BSN, RN · Jan 20, 2003

RRMLPN Thanks for your input........

renerian

Love4Me, RN · Jan 20, 2003

Blended fam here also. I have 2 boys (8 & 9) from a prior relationship, my husband has 1 boy (8) from a prior marriage, and we have 1 son together (15 mos).

It is extremely difficult at times. Sometimes I find myself being unfair. I just try to step back and check myself.

Other times it is great.

renerian, BSN, RN · Jan 20, 2003

Thanks for reply nursechellebell..........I know what you mean.......

renerian

camkib · Jan 21, 2003

Blended here too. I have 2 girls 13 and 7 and hubby has 2 girls 10 and 7 with a son together 2yrs. old