Full-Time CNA Not In School

I am a nursing assisstant who works at a nursing home. I work 60+ hours a week. It is very stressful,yet rewarding.i love my job,but it has its ups and downs and it's very easy to get burnt out. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

Full-Time CNA Not In School

So,i am a male nursing assisstant. I am young and started when I was eighteen years old. While I was a teenager, I was always on drugs or drinking, finding some way to escape my boring life of annoying parents. Anyway,i grew up with my mom working in healthcare,i was a stubborn,depressed,anxious guy who grew up around the wrong crowd of people.

When I turned 16, years old, my parents made me get a job so I started working where my mother worked in a family owned nursing home. I worked in the kitchen and housekeeping literally hating my job but I worked to support my unhealthy habits. Not to get too off topic but I went to juvenile jail and states custody because of underage DUIs ,underage consumption.

So I turn 18 years old, I'm on top of the world, I literally know everything. I move out of my mom's house and move into a drug dealers house who is friends with my high school friends. I get fired from my job. I'm at rock bottom so I start selling drugs for a while, then I become desperate and call the owner of the nursing home, she tells me I can come back to work after I take a drug test and take CNA classes. From there I am homeless for about a month, I finally decide my mom's house isn't so bad. I decide it's time to stop smoking pot and popping pills and I buzz my hair off. After all of this I give my life to the Lord and put my everything in being this nursing assistant which just seems like the craziest job.

As a new employee in this field, I started out on the Alzheimer's hallway which i felt more comfortable on.I started praying alot and realizing how fulfilling it is to take are of people who can't take care of themselves. It started to make me realize how good I really have it. As about two years go by I come very close friends with alot of coworkers but I still feel very different. It's not like in feel better than everybody but I feel like I can't let my body rest unless my patients are given PERFECT care. I struggle with anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder also.

By the time I turn 20, I'm becoming not a good but a great CNA. I literally am putting everything into this job. I feel guilty about everything bad I've done and I feel like this job is me giving back to God for the stupid things I have done in life.I am 21 now and I work up to 14 hours,sometimes 16 hours five days a week.i wake up at four o'clock in the morning and have almost all patients in their right mind. I have to say it has literally changed my life completely, at the moment I am not even worried about college. I am obsessed with giving my patients the best care possible. I stay up thinking about what I can do differently to make their life more enjoyable while spending their retirement home in what I like to call a retirement prison. Imagine spending your golden years being asked if you have used the bathroom on yourself. It is just so sad.What I'm trying to say is being in the healthcare field has literally changed my life and turned me into a Christian. Seeing dying people praying kind of changes the way I think about things.

Any starting CNA who reads this, just know this job is not for everyone. If you love to take care of someone more than yourself,if you will risk your own health to help others stay healthy. If you love to see someone smile just because your taking care of them or if you have a family member say they don't have to worry because you'll be taking care of their mother or father, than you are made fore the healthcare field. I hope someone reads this and gets inspired. I know I wouldn't have gotten my faith back with this job.

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guycna95

About guycna95, CNA

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Specializes in Critical Care.

I highly disagree that a requirement of the job of one in healthcare is sacrificing ones own health. My health comes first. If I am not healthy, I cannot care for my critically ill patients in the ICU. That's all, I just disagree with this sentiment and feel it's obsessive and unhealthy to feel you or anyone must give up their health.

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Specializes in Oncology (OCN).
I highly disagree that a requirement of the job of one in healthcare is sacrificing ones own health. My health comes first. If I am not healthy, I cannot care for my critically ill patients in the ICU. That's all, I just disagree with this sentiment and feel it's obsessive and unhealthy to feel you or anyone must give up their health.

I agree with you 100%!

To the OP, while I appreciate and understand your passion, it concerns me that you may be sacrificing your own physical and mental health for your career. As someone who has been there, you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. Working 14-16 hours a day 5 days a week can burn you out very quickly.

As someone who also struggles with obsessive-compulsive tendencies, some of your statements concern me:

"I feel like I can't let my body rest unless my patients are given PERFECT care."

"I feel guilty about everything bad I've done and I feel like this job is me giving back to God for the stupid things I have done in life."

"I literally am putting everything into this job."

"I stay up thinking about what I can do..." "I wake up at 4am..."

Please don't take this wrong because I'm saying this out of concern and not to be mean or discourage you, there is a fine line between passion and wanting to do your job well and having an unhealthy obsession with it. Only you can answer whether or not you have crossed that line. (And again I say this only out of concern as someone who personally did cross that line and sacrificed my physical health all in the name of my nursing career.)

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Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.

OP: It is not sustainable for you to work so many hours and then spend your time off work obsessing about your patients. A lot of warning bells are going off in my head as I read your post. Your body is going to crash and burn. For the sake of your physical and mental health, make an appointment to see your family doctor and talk to him/her about your work hours and spending time off ruminating about patients and what you could have done better.

You're setting yourself up for failure, because you will never be able to give your patients "perfect" care. Never.

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OP I appreciate your dedication to the field. However, I feel like you are using work to suppress what's really going on with you.

You have to take care of yourself. You're still young. If you keep this up you will eventually burn out.

Give good care not only to your residents but to yourself.

The mind is a tricky thing.....

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