Please Help: New Oncology Nurse and I can't stand going to work

wannabmidwife · Oct 16, 2013

I'm a new grad and started in July just like you. I'm on a very busy med/surg floor and to be honest, it's super hard because I don't know what the heck I'm doing, but I kinda like it. It's the last thing I thought I'd be doing bc all throughout school I dreaded my med/surg clinicals but now that I'm in control, I'm ok with it. My dream was to be in OB, mother/baby, or something like that. I'm now working with a mainly geriatric population and I'm ok. Can't say happy but don't get nauseous going to work. Your situation seems really tough and if you're that depressed, I'd say, look else where. This is my second career and I refuse to be depressed and upset about the work that I do. If you feel like this isn't a good fit for you but be confident that you'll find it. This just may not be it. You're not a failure. I tried for 10 years to make my first career work for me and I couldn't so I moved on. Try another unit. Nursing has many avenues, explore others and you'll find your niche. You're very young, don't give up yet. You worked too hard to get to this point.

SoldierNurse22, BSN, RN · Oct 17, 2013

Ashbe,

You are not alone.

Please re-read that first sentence as much as you need to before continuing.

You are a new nurse. It is normal to feel overwhelmed as a new nurse on a general med-surg floor. Specialties are a whole different can of worms! I was a new grad in oncology once, too, and I kid you not, I felt like I knew nothing for about the first year. The difference is--I expected that. I accepted it. I decided, OK, I know very little. So I made good friends with the experienced nurses on my ward. I talked to the docs, to my patients, and to anyone who would give me the time of day.

Your knowledge of nursing in general grows exponentially your first year working on your own. You have the unique challenge of trying to hone your basic nursing skills as well as your specialized oncology skills. The best advice I can give you is to hone your basic nursing skills first. Listen to your gut. If you're worried, ask an experienced nurse. Ask your charge nurse. The nice thing about floor nursing is you're never alone! If you feel that you are, you're probably working in a toxic environment that isn't safe for your license. That's an issue all its own!

Oncology can be, by its very nature, a depressing field. My unit also struggled with depression, especially when patient deaths were frequent and the winter months dragged on. Do you have hobbies? Do you have friends or family that you hang out with after work? Do not lose your social life and that integral part of "you" to "nurse you". Learn early that your professional life and your personal life need to be separate. That doesn't mean that you can't have friends on your ward if you so choose, but you need to go home and think about something other than work after hours/on days off.

Please visit this section of AN: Oncology Nursing This is where the oncology nurses hang out. There are a lot of great people who have had conversations very much like the one you've started here.

Specifically, this thread strongly resembles your post: https://allnurses.com/oncology-nursing/new-onco-rn-819346.html Again, there is great advice in this thread. Please read it over and if you feel you are truly that depressed, take up your unit on the therapy! There is no shame in admitting that you need a helping hand to pull you out of the blues.

In summation:

1. Accept the fact that you're new and you don't know everything. Anticipate that this will be the case for about a year.

2. Plan out how you will handle situations where you don't know something. Have coworkers and colleagues that you can go to for support. Practice saying "I don't know, but I'll find out and tell you in ____ minutes/hours/etc". That phrase works on docs, patients, and other nurses, too.

3. Analyze your personal life. Are you getting enough sleep? Are you eating well? Are you exercising? Are you maintaining social relationships and friendships? Any one of these areas can contribute to the strain inherent in working oncology. If you need help, talk to a therapist or your PCM if you're not sure you can fix them on your own.

Chin up, OP! Please feel free to PM me if you'd like.

HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD · Oct 17, 2013

I completely empathize. Over the years, I came to realize that there are just some types of clinical diagnoses that were on my "no fly zone". Oncology is on that list. My practice area is critical care, so I didn't really have to deal with walkie-talkie oncology patients but I just couldn't deal with the dismal prognoses and frequently radical surgery that these poor patients & their families had to deal with. And so many of them were so young . . . just too sad for me. I just don't have what it takes to work in oncology.

The psychological impact of caring for patients who suffer from "disturbing" health needs (violence, terminal disease, sudden death, etc) is an emerging phenomenon. Here is a very nice overview of PTSD in Nurses (PTSD in Nurses on ADVANCE for Nurses). Many employers have recognized this and are now beginning to provide support for clinical staff and others who deal with these patients. Please check with your manager or HR to find out whether there are any resources available.

PA_RN87, BSN, MSN, RN, APRN · Oct 17, 2013

I'm also a new nurse (started in April) working on an oncology unit. It's hard on two levels... first, because we're new and there's so much to learn on a general basis, but also on a specialized level as well. As long as you have a supportive team of coworkers, it's doable and an excellent source of experience and knowledge. Second, it can be depressing. I've seen people pass away with no support systems, and some with an overwhelming number of supportive loved ones by their side. It's hard to not be drug down emotionally by the sad stories. But if you're being told you're a good nurse by patients, you must be doing something right! And I like to think of it this way: they're going to be sick, and they've been through a lot, and there isn't much you can do that will change that. But think about how much you're impacting their day by being pleasant and a wonderful nurse. When everything seems the darkest, even the smallest ray of sunshine can brighten everything up! It's corny, but true. Some of these people are overwhelmed by pain, so imagine how special any good moment becomes to them. And that's what I focus on - trying to be that little ray of sunshine. If they want to tell me stories about their pet, their grandchildren, the "golden years," or whatever is important to them... I take time to stay and LISTEN. Sometimes that's meant more to them than anything else. It's necessary to be a competent nurse, but it's just as important to be caring, and this is especially true on an oncology unit.

tcvnurse, BSN, RN · Oct 23, 2013

Switching areas might do you a world of good. I also got very depressed while working oncology. My sister, in comparison, worked oncology/palliative for 7 years and LOVED it. People are different.

Personally, you might want to try straight up surgical floors--Cut to cure, and the patients get better and go home because we FIXED them . So hang in there. You will find your niche.

Swellz · Oct 28, 2013

I'm in the same position. On one hand, I love the oncology patients, but on the other, their pain and suffering and the constant death is just too much for me. I'm not sure if it is so hard because I am so new (started in August) or because it is just way too much for me to handle. I can't transfer within my hospital until I have worked for a year, so I figure that will give me enough time to figure that out. Maybe you just need time too? At least there is job security in the meantime.