My family and I moved after graduation to a new state. I accepted an offer in NICU with a two-year committment. I really, really wanted to work in PP, but was nervous about moving without a job. Well, of course it has now bitten me in the butt. The committment comes with a $5,000 payback if I leave before two years of work in the unit. I have since found out that they just instituted this after they had hired 12 new nurses and 10 of them left right after orientation. I think I would be the first one to test the "penalty" for not staying. I have been honest with my director and she knows my situation. I was put with a preceptor that had already told the director she was burned out on precepting, but they made her do it again and I became the "victim". Not that she went out of her way to be mean, she wasn't. She didn't go out of her way to do anything. I was pretty much left on my own. She would answer questions a few times a shift, wouldn't stop personal conversations with other people so I could ask questions, and only gave me negative feedback about things (even when I was doing exactly what she told me to do). Well, this really burned me out for the unit. I hated going to work and had no idea how I could possibly learn what I needed to. Well, they immediately put me on nights with a new preceptor. It went much better, but I still can't shake the feelings of dislike for the unit. I have now had 6 different preceptors (that's the way they scheduled it) and they put me on two more weeks of orientation. Now I found out next week they scheduled me wrong and I may run the risk of working with yet another person for one day.
So, here's where my dillema is. I like the hospital, although in their attempts to "help" me change to a new unit, are telling me there really isn't much available. I have even decided I would do med/surg, which is where I really didn't want to go. But, they have no med/surg avail. Only telemetry and clinical support unit (which is MORE orientation than I can stand). They are the biggest employer of the region, but there are many other places to work. I just don't see how they can force me to pay $5000 for training/education when that was the issue to begin with. I am very willing to pay some of that. They did give classroom education and I know that costs them money. But, as a contract, I don't see MY benefit. It seems that they can give me whatever they want to, but I'm the one who would have to pay the price if their program wasn't working.
I just worry about leaving so soon (4 months), but can't stand to be there another day. It was my 4th choice of units that I wanted my app sent to, I just didn't realize that it would be like this.
Also, when doing my resume again, what do you put when you've only worked somewhere through orientation? It's actually embarrassing to "quit", but I didn't go through the struggles of nursing school to do a job that I really dislike. Plus, life is sooo short. I'm only here once and I want to enjoy the time I have left on this earth.
Heck, I don't even know what I'm asking you guys. My hubby just mentioned today "have you asked allnurses what you should do?". So, I'm throwing my situation out there for you all. So, in a nutshell, I don't like my unit, totally burned out to the idea of working NICU, irked that I have to pay them for this misery (but I will), embarrassed that I'm even in this position, don't know how to put this on my resume, oh, and I will NEVER sign another committment to a hospital unless I've worked there for years, have no plans on leaving and can shadow a few days first.
Any advice would be helpful.