Hi everyone! I'm a new grad (May '12) with no prior medical experience who took a full time position on a busy med surg floor 4 weeks ago. The NM keeps trying wean me off orientation but I keep saying I'm not ready yet. My preceptor, as well as other nurses continuously tell me how I'm too slow and yesterday my going too fast bit me really, really hard.
Normally my preceptor and I do all of our care together. I assess, pass meds, chart, and everything else, but she's always there to back me up, check over me, and just make sure I'm doing everything correctly. Well yesterday when I got to work, they told me there was no tech, my preceptor was going to be the tech, and I was on my own.
The day started off great. I did my assessments, checked vitals, passed meds, changed linens, got labs, brought them to the lab, hunted down my pt's missing tray, everything. I thought I was really on top of everything. But, around noon one of my pts returned from dialysis. I went and assessed her, she was doing great but I never did vitals on her! In report they told me her BP was 120/85 but with all that was going on, for some reason I didn't do VS. I ended up giving her scheduled BP meds w/o thinking about rechecking her BP, so last night/this morning when she bottomed out, it looks like I gave her catapress and clonidine (and maybe some others) with a BP of 94/50. To make it worse, I didn't chart how the pt was when she came back from dialysis.
My preceptor just called me at home to tell me what happened and I feel absolutely horrible! I've been crying for about 2 hours now, because I could've caused someone's death. Not to mention the nurse from night shift and my preceptor had to be chewed out by the dr for my mistake. Yesterday the charge nurse pulled me aside and said I needed to pick it up because I go too slow, but this is exactly what I was trying to prevent. I feel like I was given the short end of the stick yesterday, but I COMPLETELY take responsibility for my mistake and the fact that I didn't catch it! I was trying to go a bit faster, and messed up something that is so basic. I know had I not been so busy, or my preceptor was there, it wouldn't have happened. I just told my preceptor I was overwhelmed and she said she didn't even realize (she was running around all day too).
So, I really don't even know how to go to work on Monday. I'm so embarrassed! On top of that, yesterday I had a pt pull out his IV (blood was everywhere!!), almost pull out his foley, etc. 2 weeks ago, my preceptor and I returned an open dilaudid instead of wasting it (hello drug test for the whole unit). It's just one thing after another. I feel like the staff will think I'm incompetent now. I just feel so horrible I don't know what to do!
Oh, and did I mention JCHAO is there today.