I apologize.. - page 2
I apologize... To the DON: For giving me a chance to work on your unit. I apologize for the opportunity that was given to me as a new grad. I apologize for giving my notice effective... Read More
Jan 18, '13Most of my family is in Nursing and my mom's best friend is a RN, also. I have been a patient and if I was going to let a woman hug me or touch me, it would be a Nurse. The only exception to that is my allergy physician, she has been in my life for 30 years. Thank you for doing your best. As a former police officer, the world is filled with jerks, I know, I have dealt with many of them. The difference is that I could take them off to jail. I never let anyone in my presence abuse any of the Nursing staff. I had a bad fever and I went to the hospital ER, my mom said I needed to be there. This couple was louding abusing the Nurse, until I showed them my badge and I told them, "If you keep on, keeping on, you will go to jail for disorderly conduct." This lady is trying to help you and all you are doing is yelling. By the way, most of my family, is in Nursing."
Jan 18, '13You made the right decision. I am a DON, and it is so difficult sometimes. we are stuck between maintaining a feather weight budget balance and floor staff. Sometimes we cannot do what we should, and sometimes we screw up and make wrong decisions. In the end, as a DON, I would give you MAD PROPS for making the decision to protect your license. I hope that the facility you worked for misses you and sees you as a loss, perhaps the DON can lobby for some changes. You are the advocate for the patient, I am the advocate for my nurses as the DON. I hope they remember that. Thank you for sharing!!!
Jan 18, '13Quote from letsbefriendsDang!!! I believe we work in the same place! I've been nursing over 20 years....27 this year to be exact. It didn't use to be like this. Back in the day, it was offensive to disturb or interrupt a medication nurse; that came with repercussions. Now, we carry cell phones or radios so that EVERYONE can call and talk to us! In a world where humans take care of humans, our livelyhoods are on the line if we make a mistake. I only have one thing to say to you: take me with you. I don't eat much and I'm potty-trained.I apologize...
To the DON:
For giving me a chance to work on your unit. I apologize for the opportunity that was given to me as a new grad. I apologize for giving my notice effective immediately when I know you would be put in a rut with one nurse down on the days I was scheduled. I had tried and tried, I work the best I could. You have to understand, given the circumstances, I am scared of losing my license when every week, an experienced nurse would threaten safe harbor due to high patient loads and no CNA. I tried and really tried hard to withstand it, knowing as a new grad it would take some time to adjust to. I can not admit, discharge and also be the transporter for patients when it is time for discharge. This takes 15 minutes of my time to take them four buildings away and have no one to watch my other patients. First week off orientation, you had given me unstable patients whom I can not handle.
I had suffered panic attacks, anxiety, and sleepless nights. I had asked to switch to nights so I can adjust, you denied my request. During our meeting, I wanted it to end in good terms but you gave me the cold shoulder, and had said no one would hire me and it's because of you, I found another job. That is not the case, I had multiple job offers, offers in a speciality that was my dream job and had turned them down because I believe that my loyalty was to the hospital.
I can no longer work in a toxic environment that does not take care of their own so in the end I had to take another job offer. No teamwork because all the nurses are overwhelm with their own workload. You would send a nurse home because we have a low census, adding more patients to all of us overwhelmed RNs. Most us nurses work 15 hours, when our shift should only be 12 hours has caused us all to burn out so quickly. Please I beg of you, please take it into consideration of putting more nurses on the schedule so your nurses can have a break, sit down and recuperate. You were once a nurse, please have some empathy. Every week, a nurse and interns quits, this is one of the reasons why.
To the patients:
I apologize for not being able to sit there and try to calm you down when you are scared and crying. I apologize for not providing you the best of care like you should have. I apologize when lunch arrives and I am unable to feed you in a timely manner due to a condition where you are unable to feed yourself without assistance. I am sorry, I am so sorry.. I apologize when you ask me to stay and talk to you for a little while when you're feeling lonely and seem abrupt and just give you a couple of words and run out of the room. You see I other patients who needs their meds, doctor's calling me, Lab calling me, chart checks, documentation. I would love to talk to you and try to comfort you,but with the workload, I can not.
To the Nurses:
Thank you for giving me the encouragement to leave stating if I stay here longer, I would lose my license. Thank you for being so understanding when I put in my notice. I had no intention of giving you a larger work load due to my absence. I am humbly appreciative of all you, especially my preceptor who has taught me so much.
To the New Grads with no job offers as of yet:
I apologize for making such a bad name for the new grads who have been trying for so long in finding a job. I am sorry.
I know most of you that works with me and the DON visit this forum, my intent is to apologize, to try to release this feeling of guilt.
Please excuse my , I am crying at the moment, and it is hard to try and correct my grammatical mistakes.
I've made this reference to others so many times. As Pierce Brosnan once said in the movie 'Dantes Peak', "You can place a frog in boiling water and he will hop right out. But if you place it cold water and heat it up slowly, he will sit there and slowly boil to death." You hopped out; I'm still simmering. God bless you, New Grad! Life, times, and therefore nursing, is only becoming more complex as the latest technology is already practically obsolete.
I't not going to get any better but as you perfect your skills, it will become easier. Buy yourself that nursing t-shirt that says, "when life just blows, take 1000mg of *******" (rhymes with pluckitol).
Jan 18, '13You are not alone. I remember the torture of being a new grad in a sea of stressed out staff. The demands placed on the floor nurse are astronomical. I remember when I had just come off orientation, I was working night shift. I had three admissions back to back with a total of 9 patients and no med nurse. It was a night mare. I wanted to quit too. It takes courage to walk. I hand it to you! It does not have to be this way. I have since worked in other deptments of the hospital and believe me, it is nothing like the med/surg floor. ER, PACU, and ICU nurses I have worked with understand the value of colaboration and teamwork. Noone can know it all or see it all. It always amazes me when I see the most experienced and knowledgeable nurse ask a question that I would ask. It just confirms that we are all just human.
I hope your next position is less compromising. Just remember that there is always that learning curb in any new job no matter where you go.
Jan 19, '13You survived...What doesn't kill you makes you stronger..You can only be a better Nurse after such experience.
Jan 19, '13I am so sorry you have to be exposed to that. Big hug to you. Sometimes you have to leave for your own sanity.
God Bless you.
Jan 19, '13Don't ever apologize for wanting to work in an environment where you can actually be an effective nurse. Don't cry that you have failed, don't worry that you have let people down.
Your alternatives were to either stay there and sink, and not help anyone at all, or move on to something better where you can be a good nurse and provide your patients with a fighting chance of surviving the experience of being caught up in the healthcare system.
The way healthcare works these days we need nurses who are willing to take a stand, and you have done that. Hopefully in the future you can give yourself a thumbs up instead of feeling like so bad about yourself.
In the meantime
Jan 19, '13Amazing post, and thank you for sharing. We as nurses and future nurses are not alone, and this post only proves that we have to stick together. Take it one day at a time and know that you did what was necessary in your situation.
Jan 20, '13That was an eye-opening post, and very heartfelt. I am sorry you had such a horrible experience, and hope you find the job you deserve. Giving you a standing ovation from Louisiana.