Hi everyone. My name is Paula. I've been registered to this forum for a long time, but could never get it activated for some reason until today. I was wondering if any one is experiencing or has experienced some of the same feelings I am having, and if so, how did you deal with it and can you offer some advice? I am a brand new grad and today was my 3rd day on a medical/hematology oncology unit. Even though my preceptor and I only had 2 patients, I felt a little overwhelmed, mostly over the little things. For instance, in nursing school
, I have never had a patient with anymore than one primary and one secondary line running at once. The patients I have now can have up to 5 infusions. I was a little frustrated with the infusion pumps and what lines to use for which drugs. Then the worst was yet to come. We were administering blood products (RBC) which is a competency I need to be checked off on. So when I spiked the bag, it punctured right out the side of the bag and punctured into my wrist. I felt so awful! My aplastic anemia patient had to wait another hour before new blood could be transfused. I have really been beating myself up over these mistakes, so much that I was supposed to work a 12 hours shfit, but they sent me home at 3pm. Can someone over me advice on how to handle stressful situations. When will I really feel like I'm a "registered nurse" and not a student anymore? Also, I still feel so shy and timid around patients. Can someone offer advice on how to break that? Thanks for listening to me. Every now and then I think I made a mistake by going into nursing because I feel as if I am not organized enough, or have the critical thinking skills. I hope as time goes by, I'll gain these skills as well.
Aug 24, '06
On my last day of orientation to the PICU I used to work in, I made a huge mistake that almost killed my 13 month old patient... I cut the ties on her trach without making sure the new ties were snug. The trach was dislodged, she desated to the 40s, had a bradycardic arrest and got two doses of epi, compressions and the whole nine yards. I was devastated that I had done something so awful. But I cowboyed up and filled out all the incident forms then spent an hour talking to the head nurse and the educator. Then I decided that I would learn from it and make darned sure I didn't do anything like that again. I didn't let it scare me out of the environment I KNEW I was meant to work in, and although I've done some pretty dumb things since then, none of them have been of that magnitude. No one held it against me either. Just as no one will hold it against you that the spike went into the blood bag sideways. These things happen. Your aplastic anemia patient most probably wasn't unduly compromised by waiting for the blood, but you were exposed to blood meant for someone else so I'm more concerned about YOU! Take a deep breath and cut yourself some slack. Humans are not perfect beings, but they are special!
Last edit by NotReady4PrimeTime on Aug 25, '06
Aug 25, '06
It sounds like you've been activated at just the right moment. I'm so sorry that things have been a tough for you. But this is the stuff that makes your skin thicker (and we're not talking about scar tissue..). How much can anybody appreciate their accomplishments if they didn't have their share of struggles? If they didn't have to work at something and grow and thrive? I'm sure you've heard this tons of times, from people here on the posts, and on your unit... but that should make it all the more true. I've been repeatedly encouraged to look towards the more experienced nurses for help when I need it, but also for their experiences... because everybody starts somewhere and every day we grow a little more. Time helps us accept events like this, and maybe even laugh at them a little later on down the road (this can be your "the one thing during orientation I wish I hadn't done" story to contribute to the group). Keep your head up. Hope this makes you smile and reminds you that you're where you are because of your hard work and because you deserve to be there. Keep in touch and let us know how orientation continues to go.
Last edit by Dempather on Aug 25, '06