Crying when stressed/overwhelmed

[SillyLilly]

Since I was a child, I have been a cryer. I cry when I am stressed, or overwhelemd with thoughts. It has brought me alot negative remarks over the years, but eventually I realized that this is a way that I releive my stress.

I am a new nurse. I have been off orientation since January. Occaisionally I will be so overwhelmed at work that I just need to cry for a while. The hard part is I look like I did cry for the rest of the shift.

The other day, my patient needed a RR. It was a big ordeal for me, especially since I felt guilty that I could have intervened earlier. She is doing ok, but not sure what her prognosis is. I cried though, and in front of many many people. I tried to hold it back, but so many people were asking me questions and the doctor was yelling at me (my great manager talked to her later in the hall about it). And I had to transfer the patient to ICU with teary eyes. It was humiliating. I came back to the unit and cried some more. Luckily (I am really thankful), the rest of my patients were ok, another nurse peaked in on them for me, and we had students who were taking care of the meds for some of the patients as well. Everyone saw me with red tearry eyes, and I was puffy for the rest of the shift (10 more hours). After having some time for myself and some deep breaths, I was slowly able to get back out on the floor.

I know what happened last shift was a learning experience. I will know better (hopefully) next time and it will process in my brain much better. I am a perfectionist in a sense, and I am hard on myself, which adds to the emotions, and adds to how much I will cry.

I do eat healthy, at least try to... I excercise (almost daily) and I do yoga (2-3 times a month).

Is anyone else the type of person who cries in stressfull situations? Does anyone have panic issues with new stressful situations? I wish at times I could be a stronger person. A good cry is good for me at times, but other people look down at you-thinking you are weak. At work, it is hard to cry without anyone noticing.

Thanks for reading.

[attyrn]

Hi Silly Lilly

hi everyone. Just want to let you know that for me and for many, it is ok to cry. i hate to admit it but though i am a bit older than you, i still cry. i cry for a lot of reasons too. i cry when i am happy as well when i am sad. i cry when i reach a goal as well as when i fail in some ways. i cry when i'm alone as i also cry in a crowd.

i haven't really pondered upon this until your letter and maybe the reason why we cry is because we still can feel. we can feel joy, sadness, anger and so many more. maybe we too are more expressive of our feelings. perhaps, what is important is that we cry for a reason and what we should worry about perhaps is when we cry without it.

take care.

[GeminiTwinRN, BSN]

RR = Rapid Response.

OP, :hugs: for you!

[Soup Turtle]

I cry when I'm stressed and frustrated, but there isn't usually one thing that causes it, it builds up.

What I've learned to do is MAKE myself cry at an appropriate time to get it out of my system and avoid breaking apart at an inappropriate time. Of course, sometimes things don't work out like I'd like them to. In those cases, I just own it, talk about it and don't try to hide it. I even joke around about it so that the people around me don't feel awkward and we can all move on. Hiding it makes me feel more ashamed and want to cry more.

[SillyLilly]

Thank you all for your posts!

My unit manager did want to talk to me and review what could have been done differently (regardless of me crying). She seemed very supportive. We did talk for a minute here and there but we both were so busy we didnt have time to talk about it in length.

And the rubber band thing, yeah, I used something similar to that in the past, and it did work. I will wear a regular rubber band around my wrist. I dont wear much makeup, but I think I will bring some just in case! I remember I was looking at the IVPBs in the refrigerator and how great they would be over my eyes. Maybe I will just take some juices next time... heh.

I do not mind crying on my way home from work. Sometimes it feels good, and by time I am home, I feel less tense that I do on a 'regular' day. Crying is a big way I release my emotions. I used to be ashamed of it, but it is better than bottling it up and taking it out in other ways......

Also I realized if I cry and/or have a panicky episode at work, the next time I have a situation similar to that, I handle it much more calmly. So I do have hope.

Again, thanks for the responses and understanding!

[mistydave]

wow it is wonderful to hear from all the adult criers! I am one myself. almost 33 and still cry like a little girl when my feelings are hurt. And I feel so childish and wonder why I am not more mature....it is wonderful to know I am practically normal!!!!!!!! I cry definetly when I have made a mistake or done something wrong. I was wondering how this would affect my nursing school and career. I guess I can hope I won't be the only one in my class. :)

[lllliv]

i also cry at weird moments. i don't usually cry at work--but since we got a manager that is unfair about things--i did a few times. i think it's a way to let out my anger without getting fired.

for some reason, when i go to the doctor, to discuss issues i just lose it. i try to prepare myself ahead of time because these issues really do not upset me that much in my "normal life". i still cry every time. it is so embarrassing-and then the doc thinks i am depressed.

i also can make myself cry just thinking about an abused animal and don't even mention watching animal cops. i even cry on "homeward bound"--when the old dog makes it home. that should be a happy part.

different weird things trigger me. anyway--you are not alone.

[harley007]

I cry when I am happy, sad, overwhelmed, frustrated .... dang it I cry when they play the Star Spangled Banner! I am over 50 and it still embarrasses me. At my new job they were a few people that really enjoyed pushing me to the to the point of loosing it. I had just started in a Cardiac Cath. Lab. and the job was the most difficult I have ever had to learn, even ICU. A few hard core nasty people made it so difficult I cried at work occasionally and I cried all the way home from work everyday for 5 months! Well, I hung in there and next week I'll be there a year. I am doing well. I can stand on my own with almost any case. Now, I just ignore the nasties - they are just unhappy people trying to drag everyone down with them.

Would it have been easier if I didn't cry and thus not make myself an easy victim? Would it have also been easier if I treated them in the cruel ways they treated me? Sure, but I maintained my integrity. Today I feel great about myself, patients seem to really like me, I love my job and so who cares about a few tears .... forget the nasties and the embarrassing moments tears just show how much you care and your wonderful sensitivity.

[sofaraway04]

I have quite often cried on my way to work because I am dreading going in. If I am at work and I feel overwhelmed and that I need to cry i will go and stand in the toilet for 5 minutes and compose myself. sometimes I have a little cry and then go back out sometimes i just needed a few minutes to prepare to go back out there.

now I am tryign to be more laid back and there is a sayign that my other half always tells me and i repeat to myself when it feels a bit much, and it's "I can only do what i can do"

[DTC]

I graduated March 06 and just got my FIRST job 2 weeks ago! After taking boards in April 06, I had the opportunity to go overseas fora a month,,came home,,messed around had fun(this was the first time in my 52 years that I was financially able to take a year without having to work). Got a job as an LPN in a VERY posh retirement village, in hte assisted living part on 3p-11p. Being a perfectionist,,I got upset with myself for not being able to pull meds fast enough and started to boohoo. Not great big sobs,,just tears rolling down my face and silent shoulder heaves,,lol. My much yonger co-workers told me speed will come in time,,that i'm doing fine,,but I feel so clumsy and slow and inadequate,,it just overwhelms me at times. I had one full week of orientation and towards teh end of week 2,,I got a URI and had to miss 2 days!!!!!!! Talk about crying,,I went to the doctor, got meds,,got an excuse,,called the supercisor,,but am scared to death they're going to fire me when I return to work Monday. SOOO,,,,I've cried all day today as well. I've got 58 residents and we pull all teh meds for teh shift at one time. The more experienced workers can do it in 2 hours,,,it's taking me an hour and 15 mins to do less than half,,and I'm freaking out!!!!! WHEW,,,,,,,,,,I needed to vent this,,so,,dont feel alone in getting overwhelmed and crying. I dont think it's the most professional way to deal with stress and I try not to get overwhelmed,,mabye just being new at the nursing thing is all it is,,,I hope once I get teh hang of it,,I'll be able to not take everything so personal,,to not be so hard on myself.

Good luck and keep posting!!!!!!!!!!

[Kim O'Therapy, BSN, RN]

I get weepy when I get over tired. If I don't get a good night's sleep, I'll boo hoo at the drop of a hat. Recently, we had a lab at school regarding restraints. My mother passed away this last November and there were a few days, when whe was very confused, that the ICU staff had to put a posey on her. I was practicing tying a posey vest and had to leave the lab with tears flowing down my face. I went in the bathroom, had a good sob, took a few deep breaths, got a hug from another lady in the restroom, splashed my face and went back to lab. I was fine the rest of the semester. Sometimes, I think we need to blow off steam. My worst habit is crying when I'm really pzzd off and feel as though I can't defend myself. Good luck and hang in there....you are not alone.

[DarciaMoonz, LPN]

I cry when I am overwhelmed or moved by something emotionally. Heck just a few months ago I was watching LOTR return of the king, and cried once again when it got to the part when Marion got to fight with his friends even though others told him that he couldn't. Even cried when I took my son to see the Iron Giant. He looked at me like I was crazy lol, but it was moving to say the least. Crying makes me feel better. I tried to change and be "tough", but ended up having panic attacks from holding everything inside. It is a part of who you are, and you should embrace it. I would rather see someone cry to relieve stress than to go off in a fit of rage and hurt themself or someone else.

[Becca608]

There are worse things to do than crying when upset and stressed. I wish I was a crier so I could get it over with rather than torturing myself endlessly...now that's unhealthy. One of my instructors actually told me that I was my own worst enemy...