Confessions of a 30-Something RN Grad

I am in the seat, feeling comfortable, calm (even though I have went through enough security to enter Fort Knox). I read through the instructions as to not miss anything. "You have 6 hours...." Sounds good, all is well..... Nurses Announcements Archive Article

First question, okay, 50/50.....A or C..... hmmm...A.... "next".....2nd question.....what? What are they asking? These are all right, and there are no indicators in the question showing priority. Can I ask them "is this patient stable?" "how old are they?" "should I assume they are anxious?"....Can I phone a friend?

Okay, quit assuming, take the question at face value......uh......well, if I were getting this done, this is what I would want to know.......B........

Right about question 8 I hear the girl next to me groan. Then about 10 questions later she does a big sigh, then a few later she says, "Oh gosh." Seriously? Shut-up.....I am freaking out, too. The least you can do is give me some silence, right? Maybe I should've said yes to those earplugs.

Where's the delegation? Where is the alternate question with apical pulse location? Where are the labs? Where is the question on crutches?

Why do I get the feeling they are asking me about the same thing over and over? Maybe they are thinking (I have now humanized the NCLEX monster as "they") if I give her the question 5 or 6 more times, maybe she'll get it right.....then.......

Black screen.....wait! They are thinking....we gave her every shot possible, but she blew it. 75 questions, and I knew the answer to a whopping.....TWO (with certainty).

I do the outgoing survey, looking for the question that says, do you think this test was made as an evil joke? "Strongly agree"

I again get fingerprinted (I am thinking, if you think I actually paid this pathetic looking, short-haired blonde girl in sweatpants to take the test for me, then she did a poor job.....I am demanding a refund). I courteously smile and get my stuff. Then I realize, it's time to hit the potty. My stomach is gurgling, and I can actually see my heartbeat in my abdomen. It is pounding. I get into my car, deciding who won't think I am crazy if I call in this state of mind. Okay, my hubby, of course, he always makes me feel better. "Oh, that stinks." Is his response to my description. "When can you take it again?" I'm thinking "I DON'T KNOW, I DIDN'T PLAN ON FAILING!" You're not helping, click......then, my mom. Mom's always make you feel better, right? "Oh sweetie, it's not the end of the world, you can just take it over." Again, not what I wanted to hear.

At this point I am hoping that Ashton pops out from behind the car next to me with his trendy hair and crooked smile and says, "You've been Punk'd!" so that I can slap him in the face or kick him where the sun don't shine or something equally degrading.

Where are all of my girlfriends who are RNs? Voicemail, Voicemail, Voicemail.

I am sitting in a random parking lot thinking, "Maybe I'll just tell everyone that I had to reschedule, then take the exam again before anybody finds out that I've failed." How vain is that?!

Ugh!!! My stomach is hurting again. I get a few calls/texts and I can't bear to tell the whole ugly story again.

I get home (I can't even remember driving really....it feels like I got home in 5 minutes). I sit on my couch for about 45 minutes.....no TV, no kids, no talking, maybe even no blinking. I didn't take the NCLEX serious enough. I should've done a different review. I should've done more questions. I should've taken it later or maybe earlier or maybe I should've just NOT studied.

Of course, nothing on BRN the next day, the day after that, I wake up at 0500 and check...nope...I am even looking on allnurses.com to see what the odds are of failing at 75 questions. Meanwhile, I am talking to people now. I am trying to convince myself that I am okay with whatever happens (of course, I am MORE okay with passing!). I contemplate setting my alarm for 0200 Saturday morning (I've heard the BRN updates their website at 0200 for the previous day). I decide that if it isn't there, it will ruin the rest of my night's sleep, so I pass on the alarm idea.

Saturday morning, I sleep in, 0900.......I click on my bookmark (yes, I have bookmarked it).....type my last name.......can you believe it? There is another woman in my county with the same name....well, that is annoying, even SHE passed the NCLEX....wait....oh, okay, I think I can actually hear the word relief as I exhale. Now, I can drop the weight on my chest and the pit from my stomach. Phew.

Moral of the story, sometimes the signs and symptoms (abdominal pain, bounding pulse, anxiety, feelings of impending doom) don't match the diagnosis (Effective testing output r/t using my noggin aeb name showing up on BRN site)

What's next?

You mean, now I have to find a job? My stomach hurts again.

Specializes in Med-Surg, & ED.

I want to cry so much...my jaw hurts! ELEGIBILITY NOTICE FOR NCLEX_RN EXAMINATION received today whilst on my way to the library to study! I'm at the library now reviewing my 3500 NCLEX-RN questions~I feel a knott in my throat. I feel like a lil girl wanting to be hugged and not let go right now! Agh!!!! I'm afraid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Specializes in LTC.

No, sounds like me. I took my RN boards on June 08, 2009 and got my results 48 hours later on the internet. I PASSED!!!!! I had alot of the same symptoms and worries as you though. I had set a couple of goals for myself; a LPN before 31, and a RN before 35. I will celebrate my 35th birthday on 07/28. I did all this being a single mom of four kids; three teenagers and a one year old. So it is possible and GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME.

Specializes in Med-Surg, & ED.
No, sounds like me. I took my RN boards on June 08, 2009 and got my results 48 hours later on the internet. I PASSED!!!!! I had alot of the same symptoms and worries as you though. I had set a couple of goals for myself; a LPN before 31, and a RN before 35. I will celebrate my 35th birthday on 07/28. I did all this being a single mom of four kids; three teenagers and a one year old. So it is possible and GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME.

Awesome! Congrats! I have 4 kids as well, they have helped me out sooo much just by showing patience. My youngest is 5, I started taking prerequisites when I was pregnant with him and graduated May 15, 2009. He is in complete shock I think, he asks me once in a while why am I not reading my books! :) Oh! I am soooo happy reading is over! my goal was to be a RN y the time I turned 35 as well! My birthday is July 5th! By the way, Happy Birthday to you!

Take care and God Bless!

Specializes in OR-ortho, neuro, trauma.

Great story!!!! Congrats on passing!!! I'm sure I will feel the same way this time next year when I'm getting ready to take the NCLEX.

Specializes in Med/Surg GI/GU/GYN.

I was 3-1/2 months from turning 40. I had started at Square 1 with college at the age of 34. 5-1/2 years of part- to full-time school for a 2-1/2 year degree. All while raising our 3 kids with my husband. I had put way too much time and effort into this effort not to pass.

Got to the testing site and went through the whole security process. Then the questions started. There were no good questions and there were NO RIGHT ANSWERS!!! I just kept choosing what I thought was the least wrong answer. When the screen turned gray, my heart jumped into my throat and I squealed, "Nooooo, I have to get more right!" After exiting w/ my fingerprint, I headed to the bathroom to take care of my nauseated, bubbling tummy. Grabbed my purse & cell phone from the locker & headed to the car. My entire body was buzzing, felt like I was holding a buzz saw or something. So I turned on my phone to call someone. Wait! My phone won't turn on!!! I had to drive all the way home, 45 minutes, headed straight to the Verizon store to get my phone fixed and then called my friend from school, absolutely certain I had failed. Called my hubby who said he was sure I passed. Couldn't sit still that whole day, couldn't sleep that night. Logged onto the BON next morning at 9:01am, knowing the list was updated overnight but not listed until 9:00am. Squeezed my eyes shut really tight. Opened one very slightly and there was my name. Logged off of BON & logged back in just to make sure I was seeing clearly. Then I screamed. Then I cried. Then I had to re-check the BON site about a dozen times over the next couple of days, praying they hadn't realized their mistake & removed my name. The NCLEX is definitely the most hateful experience in my entire life, bar none! There is no amount of warning or advice that can prepare you for the moment that screen goes gray, whether at 75 or 175 questions!

Hey I am 40 and just passed a few weeks ago. Mine shutoff at 75 but I felt that I got at least 70 percent right, remember you have to miss almost 50% of the questions to fail. Now comes the hard part finding a job.:cry:

You are probably a great nurse but you may have missed your true calling that being a writer, a very, very good writer!

Specializes in Obstetrics, M/S, Family medicine.

Cathylady,

I can't tell you how flattering it is for someone to say I am a good writer. I love to write articles (not so good at books...i've tried). I have had the pleasure of writing a number of articles for a nursing student association, which I loved. I have told my husband that I want to test my hand at writing as I get some experience as an RN. I am keeping a blog of my experiences. I am not very good at fiction, so I am hoping that I am better at non-fiction.

thank you again.

Specializes in Med-Surg, & ED.

Ohh..WOOOOOWWWW nclex registration @ 11 a.m. completed today; first response from nclex @ 1700 today as well, nclex info. verification~checked; another email one minute later, ATT information provided! Too much for one day!!! Called to schedule a testing date...and to make it more exciting...scheduled to test on my birthday!!!!!!!!! July 5th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! @ 8 am in Las Vegas baby!!!!

I posted this on my facebook earlier, few minutes after my last notification...I come back once a while in here during the day to help myself built strength. I know life will be ok with me, I'm hoping. I am going through a lot of stress at this time of my life...done with school, hubby lost his job, parents getting old ( I need to help them very very soon), my kids are not happy here in Utah, I have to pass the NCLEX, studying until I take the NCLEX, not many job opportunites for us new grads...and my hubby still can't find a job:*(....bills piling up...credit cards starting to build up...and we gave 30 day notice to move out of this apartment y the end of July....thinking my husband or I would have a job in California. My parents live there, my kids want to live there, and I applied for my boards there...Ohhh geez! trying to stay strong... but it's difficult at times; I cry in silence where no one can see me.

I have to go back to studying...congrats to all that have made it and good luck to all that are still looking for a job.

I always looked foward at finishing school and how "cool" and "exciting" it would be to be a RN...I'm scared of not finding a job and the fun is holding on to the last mm of my soul.

Specializes in LTC.

To emmanewgrad keep ur head up; for this to shall come to past. Every SOLDIER has a story to tell. I was hoping to start nursing school in June 2007, but upon request got pregnant with my fourth child. I already had three teenagers at home, I sucked it up and said trouble don't last always. His dad got killed Feb 2007 when I was 5 months pregnant. I thought I wouldn't make it, but I had promised my kids father as well as myself. So I had my son in June 2007; wouldn't trade him for the world.I finished my prereqs and started the nursing program (LPN/LPTN to RN Transition) in June 2008. I graduated wth honors on May 8, 2009 and passed my boards a month later. All this with a 1 year old pulling on my coat tail. I told the Lord plenty of times that I can't do this. So now that's it's over I hear melodies from heaven raining down on me. "My Father is a King. I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me." You wouldn't believe the changed person on this side of this email. One word of encouragement as u take that NCLEX that I found helped me was telling myself the answer is up here, one of these four.

Specializes in Med-Surg, & ED.
To emmanewgrad keep ur head up; for this to shall come to past. Every SOLDIER has a story to tell. I was hoping to start nursing school in June 2007, but upon request got pregnant with my fourth child. I already had three teenagers at home, I sucked it up and said trouble don't last always. His dad got killed Feb 2007 when I was 5 months pregnant. I thought I wouldn't make it, but I had promised my kids father as well as myself. So I had my son in June 2007; wouldn't trade him for the world.I finished my prereqs and started the nursing program (LPN/LPTN to RN Transition) in June 2008. I graduated wth honors on May 8, 2009 and passed my boards a month later. All this with a 1 year old pulling on my coat tail. I told the Lord plenty of times that I can't do this. So now that's it's over I hear melodies from heaven raining down on me. "My Father is a King. I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me." You wouldn't believe the changed person on this side of this email. One word of encouragement as u take that NCLEX that I found helped me was telling myself the answer is up here, one of these four.

I swear you made me almost cry as I read your story...but girl! the last sentence made me laugh!

Congrats!!! I feel your pain and I know our Heavenly father watches over all. He's helped me stay afloat. :):bowingpur

Specializes in LTC.

Oh, and Happy soon to be Birthday to you also.