Almost done with orientation I think I want to quit.

[vera5]

I am a new BSN grad and passed boards in Feb this year. I have enjoyed helping people ever since I can remember, but during nursing school I came to realize that nurses do everything but spend time with patients. The nurses during my clinicals seemed miserable, and didn't take students serious. But I stuck it through and thought it would get better once I became I nurse. Once I passed boards in Feb I jumped on the first job opportunity, and it was for a hospital I applied to just to apply, it wasn't even somewhere I considered working but it was the first place to call me. The excitement of passing boards and having a job lined up was just too great and so I began orientation, 3 other nurses were hired with me on the same floor. I enjoyed that it was a smaller hospital and most people knew one another. So long story short, my orientation literally ends this week, my last day is on Saturday and I am a hot mess. I cannot sleep, I have severe anxiety, and I am beginning to lose my appetite, I am afraid I will fall into a depression. The floor I work on is an ICU Step Down unit. Nurses have 5 patients on average; they still use written orders and cardexes. I can't read the MD's hand writing when they write orders, I'm always afraid of making an error. The patients are very heavy; they are mostly an older population with tons of meds. I have started taking the entire assignment myself a few weeks ago but I feel very flustered and I feel like my preceptor is getting very annoyed with me. She is always reminding me of things I need to do because I am so swamped with my work and she gets snappy when it is really busy. During my shift I always have 2-3 discharges with 2 or more admissions, on top starting the day with 5 patients. I sometimes have an extra patient to cover if an LPN is in the assignment. By the time I start assessing in the beginning of my shift its time for meds, then it's time for more meds. Then a doctor changes an order in the chart and I have to go either put it in the computer or acknowledge it if the Secretary already did... or the labs come back critical, or the patients are going for a procedure and I'm calling report. I am constantly walking patients to bathrooms or cleaning them up because the aides are so overwhelmed too. I don't eat lunch; I get out over an hour late. I feel like I'm in a nightmare. I don't know what to do, I want to quit but I don't want my family to look down on me. Thinking about being out of orientation and on my own next week makes me sick to my stomach. We have a charge nurse who does absolutely nothing, and the manager is always in the office. I have looked online today at non clinical RN positions and applied to a few. I am actually considering being a waitress if I quit and try to find another job. My family or friends don't understand when I tell them about work because they are not in the med field; they tell me that I should be happy that I have a job... I have always had a hard time making decisions, and this one is definitely a tough one. I know I am a new grad and it is hard in the beginning but this just does not feel right. Someone please help me guide myself in the right direction...

[chikah_dorah]

I am not a USRN yet, but i've been in your situation when i start my first nursing job in the Philippines. I worked in a public hospital where patients number are overwhelming, supervisors sitting inside the office while eating pizza, charge nurse just checking the nurse's notes, and nursing aides busy with their own job.

I understand that you feel like nursing is not for you. And your family is expecting too much from you. In my opinion, you just have to put your head and heart into it. You said that you enjoyed nursing when you were a student, that's already a plus. You can always learn to love it back if you appreciate the skills you have right now, that most people don't have. You already have knowledge, proven by you for passing the nclex. You are in the stage of improving your skills. Give it time.

With regard to the doctor's handwriting, believe me i think all nurses had hard time reading them in the first few weeks to months of carrying out written orders. You will get used to it, i assure you.

:)

[NRSKarenRN, BSN, RN]

Take a deep breathe and exhale. I've moved your thread to our First Year After Nursing Licensure forum.

Reading the posts in this section, you will see many new grads share your feelings: overwhelmed, not organized, anxious, trying to juggle SEVEN patients/shift (5+2 admits)--you have many kindred souls out there. 1 hr overtime is quite common for a new grad on a busy unit like this.

Time + experience will help you get over this time in your career. Please do not give up! One thing I learned is you need to refuel, decompress and reorganize during a meal time break. Pack foods that you can grab and eat quickly of you just can't get away: string cheese, nuts, yoghourt, protein bars, trail mix.

Check out this thread for hints:

Hang in there new Grads and New Nurses it does get better..I PROMISE

[Racer15, BSN, RN]

I just got out of orientation last week, and you are NOT alone! It is very stressful, and I feel horrible anxiety everyday that I go into work. I am blessed with an awesome charge nurse that is always there to keep an eye on me and help, and most of my coworkers are very helpful as well. Everyone works together in my ER, and I never feel really alone. It's still HARD. I feel like a fish out of water most days, but I have an experienced team and they all say the same thing, the first year is rough. And even nurses I work with that are over that one year hump feel overwhelmed a lot of days. You sound like a caring person that wants what is best for your patients, so I say stick it out. I want to quit all the time, but I'll never get confident in my skills if I throw in the towel now, and my coworkers are an amazing safety net for when I am not sure. Give it a little time before you give up!

[flugelnuss]

As I was reading this, I thought that this was me who typed this! You are not alone. I had pretty much the same experience as you described, but when I finished up 2 months on day shift and switched to 2 weeks on night orientation, my preceptor changed too. This time I hand picked her and it was the best thing I could've ever have done for my confidence and career. I told my night preceptor what I expected and told her the horror story you just told about days and she helped me get organized and supported me every step of the way my day preceptor didn't. Around the second to last day on nights orientation I asked my director if i could have one more week with my night preceptor. I told him I was getting everything that I didn't get while precepting on days and he understood and gave me the extra week. I worked a 4th day that week and chose that night to be on my own. I made it through the night and even was ready to give report by 0630! I always cringed when I saw 1800 when I was on days because I hadn't even gotten my charting started some days and the fact that I was ready to give report by 0630 prepared me for a code blue at 0645 (thankfully, not any of my patients!). I was the first who responded to our monitor techs calls for running into the room and we pushed the code button and started CPR! Luckily we got the patient back after the code team took over and I was still able to give report and leave by 0730! When I was on days, I would've been lucky if I wasn't there for another hour and a half after report was given. Moral of the story, it all changed when I switched to nights and the change in preceptors was the best thing that could've happened to me. I'm going on my second night on my own tomorrow and I have confidence that I can make it through this career. I hope you can find your way as well. Good luck.

[BrendaH84, BSN]

what u described is everyday for me. yes i LOVE taking care of people, except that's not what i do at work!

it hasn't changed, I really don't like nursing.

WHEN ONE GIRL I WORK WITH TRIES TO SAY anything ABOUT THIS, I'VE HEARD PEOPLE SAY "IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING WITH HER"{ SO I WOULDN'T DARE COMPLAIN.

in a few years I'd like to get a Doctors office job or a phone nurse for an insurance company. but you need several years of hospital experience in most cases.

when i worked at a SNF, my husband said "what's so hard about giving 30 pt's meds? how long could that take?" how can you explain about discharges, admits, cleaning up a pt, dsg changes, etc etc etc, it's hard with 7 pt's let alone 30.

I would harshly not recommend our field to anyone who asks, and that is unfortunate.

it's not just paperwork, it's someone's LIFE in my hands.

[Georgia peach RN]

Be encouraged! You can do this! Organization is everything. When I became an LPN I was placed on orentation, I was precepted by several nurses, imagine that confusion. I am a very observant soul so I watched my co-worker and discovered the ones who are confident and the ones who "Mother" new nurses then I latched on like it was My life dangling, They mothered me in my new career and taught me skills that I did not feel like I had learned in school. They reminded me to stay on task and when I left the "narcotic key" laying out they reminded me not to do that then when they found it again they hid them from me until the end of shift so that I would never do it again. You will find a kindred soul at your job. hang in there.