Strange things people present to the ER with....

[klcrn1987]

What are some of the strangest things you have heard people say are wrong with them....and what was the MD's diagnosis..

I had a guy come in saying he had "what looked like adult Chickenpox on his d**k".....can we say "HELLO---HERPES"

Had a guy come in today with "brain pain for 2 years"......for lack of anything better--all test were negative....? migraines

I know there are some more good ones out there...let's hear 'em...........

[grace90, LPN, LVN]

1.When I worked in an ER. We had a guy come in with a test tube,w/cork up stuck up his butt.He said it happened in his sleep.

Sleepin' totally buck on a lab table?

[AmyBRN]

Lime up the behind. He explanation was that he slipped in the shower.

Guess he'll have to stop drinking margarita's while showering.

[Altra, BSN, RN]

Lime up the behind. He explanation was that he slipped in the shower.

You put the lime in the coconut ....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThMw0IsuQf8&feature=related

" ... Now let me get this straight

Put the lime in the coconut, you drank 'em both up (3x)

Put the lime in the coconut, you called your doctor, woke him up, and said

Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take, I said

Doctor, to relieve this bellyache, I said

Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take, I said

Doctor, to relieve this bellyache

You put the lime in the coconut, you drink 'em both together

Put the lime in the coconut, then you feel better

Put the lime in the coconut, drink 'em both up

Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the morning ..."

[NewRN12109]

1. Oh there are so many to choose from. When I was a medic we were based in an ER. We had a girl come in with serious abdominal pain after the Dr did a pelvic we found a rotten tampon in her. She was so embarrased she left the ER without her purse.

2. I've seen carrots, cucumbers, vibrators and multiple items in multiple places.

3. Young girl once came in with a easter egg up her lady parts. When asked what happened she said she got out of the shower and sat on the bed and the egg "slipped" up hehehhe Likely story.

[klcrn1987]

OMG Altra.....now I'm going to go around with that crazy song in my head all day...Thanks alot!! :chuckle :chuckle

..Goes to ER complaining of "coconut song stuck in head"......

[mshultz]

1. Oh there are so many to choose from. When I was a medic we were based in an ER. We had a girl come in with serious abdominal pain after the Dr did a pelvic we found a rotten tampon in her. She was so embarrased she left the ER without her purse.

2. I've seen carrots, cucumbers, vibrators and multiple items in multiple places.

3. Young girl once came in with a easter egg up her lady parts. When asked what happened she said she got out of the shower and sat on the bed and the egg "slipped" up hehehhe Likely story.

How was the issue with the purse resolved? In my non-nursing job, I have mailed items back to their owners. I mailed a pair of mittens and an ice cream card to one person (the owner was due for free ice cream with his next purchase). A Thank You note from the owner would have been nice, but I still believe that returning other people's property is the right thing to do.

I am surprised that the lady with the Easter egg did not implicate the Easter Bunny.

[kefst1]

Ok this comes from a call i had on the ambulance I work for. 911 center dispatched it as a Charlie Response traumatic injury (Charlie response is the 3rd highest response so sounded semi-serious). We get to this 40 something year olds house and he says I stubbed my toe earlier and it is still sore. (Not a single laceration, swelling, bruising, nothing can be seen with the naked eye). The guy insisted that we take him to the hospital and wanted to get there as quickly as possible because he was going out to dinner that night and wanted to get home in time so he kept asking to turn on the lights and the sirens to go faster so we could get there already. Needless to say RN's and Dr.'s were not pleased about this one coming in.

(I believe we should all get 3 freebie cards every month, if i use my freebie card i don't have to treat this patient i can just leave. This would make life sooo much simpler) :)

[rph3664]

Ok this comes from a call i had on the ambulance I work for. 911 center dispatched it as a Charlie Response traumatic injury (Charlie response is the 3rd highest response so sounded semi-serious). We get to this 40 something year olds house and he says I stubbed my toe earlier and it is still sore. (Not a single laceration, swelling, bruising, nothing can be seen with the naked eye). The guy insisted that we take him to the hospital and wanted to get there as quickly as possible because he was going out to dinner that night and wanted to get home in time so he kept asking to turn on the lights and the sirens to go faster so we could get there already. Needless to say RN's and Dr.'s were not pleased about this one coming in.

(I believe we should all get 3 freebie cards every month, if i use my freebie card i don't have to treat this patient i can just leave. This would make life sooo much simpler) :)

People like that should have to pay cash, up front.

[klcrn1987]

"People like that should have to pay cash, up front."

.....at triple the going rate...and pay for the poor guy they might have caused further injury to because they were tying up a rig on something stupid......

[StealthyQ]

Complaint: "I'm passing blood clogs"

Diagnosis: Your period

I once had a thirty-something year old lady complaining of cramping and lady partsl bleeding for one day. Her LMP? Exactly thirty days ago.

I love a good medical mystery.

[veronicajr]

I once had a patient that came by EMS and due to the non-acuity of her complaint, my charge nurse sent her out to go through triage. Her complaint: "my contact lens is irritating my eye." Yep, worth of EMS transport for sure.

[The_Squid]

Guy thought he had a tick on his butt, turned out it was a worther's original stuck to his ass crack hairs.