Pt's C/O in the ER (funny)

Specialties Emergency

Published

What are some funny C/O people have had coming into your triage area? Misspelled words too...

We had a lady come in the other night because she ate raw chicken -Claimed she didn't know it was raw.

Lots of people come in with soar throats.

We also had a mom who tried to spell diarrhea several times on the check in -Finally crossed it out and wrote S**Ts a lot.

Or the mother who brings her child in at 2am with a temp of 102.8. Asked her when she took her temp last and her reply was "I don't have a thermometer, I just knew it was that high by touching. God I wish I was that good!

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We've heard some good ones...

my Virginia smells...(lady parts)

I'm bleeding heavy and there were blood clogs (clots)

I have wheat legs (weak)

spiny metal jesus (spinal meningitis)

ackdominal pain

fell out

vomicking...we're convinced this is the phenomenon when it comes out both your mouth and nose...

Are you having diarrhea? Yes. How many episodes? Just one yesterday...

...here's your sign... :)

or my favorite, "Fireballs of the Eucharist" (fibroids of the uterus)

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Specializes in Emergency room, med/surg, UR/CSR.
isn't it comforting to know that...

coast to coast...

nation to nation...

we are joined together by one undenieable(sp) truth...

stupid people live everywhere!

and they procreate!!!

ahhhhh...it sure does make a busy shift go by a lot funnier though!!!

Aaaahhhhh ain't it the truth? Ain't it the truth!!!!!!! :rotfl:

Pam

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Oh, and one of my favorites from 7 or 8 years ago was the guy who drank the Vicks for the vaporizer, instead of the Vicks cough syrup. That was a fun lavage. Everyone's nose was running, and that room smelled of menthol for a week.

:rolleyes:

Wish I had beent here, might have given me some relief! LOL

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Drank roach poison after wife put it in a coke bottle...on discharge instructions the PA wrote,"label all containers". The pt said,"it was labeled...it said Coke"

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OMG- anthrax. I could have distributed some of the same to the freaking media over that one...people who live in little tiny towns in northern Illinois and NEVER GO ANYWHERE probably haven't been exposed to anthrax especialy since they actually haven't left their house...

can't wait til bird flu comes around...

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I have seen this twice: First, make a mental picture of any roughly phallic shaped and sized object (PSSO), which you would never see in a shower. Got it? OK. The story always begins:

"I was in the shower with (your PSSO here), when I slipped! I landed sitting down, and guess where the PSSO went?"

And now you need a trip to the OR to get it out, have a nice night.

KM

I have seen similar too in the UK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A/E (UK accident & emergency)

Same senaro!! guys quote same as yours both times - different guys.

One item was a shaving brush and the other - Iv'e always wondered about - was non other than a large ripe orange???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Female....................A gooey greeney sluggy coated pill bottle???!!!!!! Phew...phew...Gag...Gag.....Go to lab.....No growth!!!!

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That is fabulous I so want to work in the ER:rotfl:

a guy came in the middle of the night to the ED, told me he awoke & a cockroach had crawled into his member. He said "I killed it w/this Q-tip though-- I know I did 'cuz I peed it out!" (he proceeded to pull the dirty ragged Q-tip out of his shirt pocket!) His member was red, swollen about 3 times its size & oozing pus.....some cock roach............ :rotfl:

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Oh I love this one!!!! Esp. your dx!! I'm lol here!!

Sorry,Nursebedlam, got you beat,abd pain "for 6 years now."

She came in during the Super Bowl "coz I knew you people wouldn't be busy now,and I don't care anything about football."

Our ER doc says"Guess what? I don't care anything about abd pain."

dx: PID

my dx: PID w/ mets to the brain

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When you ask mom, "did you give any Tylenol?" & she says "didn't have any...." okay, easier to drive to the ER at 2 a.m. than the convenience store....and apparently no bath-tub at home??? :uhoh3: puleeze!

Or the mother who brings her child in at 2am with a temp of 102.8. Asked her when she took her temp last and her reply was "I don't have a thermometer, I just knew it was that high by touching. God I wish I was that good!
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This little old lady comes into the ER late at night, some vague complaint, and as I'm talking to her in the exam room she pulls out a cigarette, sticks it in her mouth-- I said, "you can't smoke in here" she says "Oh honey, I don't smokes 'em!-- I eats 'em!!" and she sat there and chewed & swallowed the whole cigarette!! :p

That is fabulous I so want to work in the ER:rotfl:
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guy came in w/an erection that he'd had for nearly 36 hrs- came in 'cuz he couldn't pee-- we're like "why'd you wait so long?!" He said "I couldn't get my girlfriend off of me!!" :crying2: (this was before the days of Viagra.....)

Some of my favorites The guy who had a roach crawl in his ear so he sprayed Raid in his ear or the 18 y/o guy who "poured Peroxide on his hand and it turned white" or the couple that got "stuck together" EMS brought them in on top of one another on the stretcher.
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