Funniest injury you have ever seen..... - page 6

I took care of a guy once who had an injury to the third toe and complete amputation of the fourth toe. When asked how this injury occurred......"I was using my twelve gauge shot gun to kill moles in... Read More

  1. by   Mary Austin
    Ah yes, the joys of nursing....this may be more sad than funny. Admitted a guy who ran out of veins for heroin so he injected into the scrotum. His scrotum was the size of a football and rather painful. The surgeon doing the I & D was just beside himself knowing he had to do surgery on this. It takes all kinds to make the world spin!
  2. by   shinerchia
    Sharpee pen cap in a pt's bladder. We called UA/CS results to follow a pt and she stated she knew that she had a foreign object in her bladder and that might account for the MRSA in her urine. She shoved large objects in her urethra it seems.


    And here i've been using it for elimination all of these years!
  3. by   ameriarmybrattLPN
    Quote from shinerchia
    Sharpee pen cap in a pt's bladder. We called UA/CS results to follow a pt and she stated she knew that she had a foreign object in her bladder and that might account for the MRSA in her urine. She shoved large objects in her urethra it seems.


    And here i've been using it for elimination all of these years!
    :uhoh21: This one doesn't make me laugh it makes me HURT. Yee-ouch!
  4. by   hipab4hands
    Quote from Stitchie
    Once again, stupidity/ETOH = job security!
    How about our frequent flier-a known alcoholic--ran out of beer. He and a friend decide to find a free source of alcohol. Light bulb goes on in our frequent fliers head, who decides to make a run to the local morturary, because they know they have alcohol there in the form of embalming fluid.
    Frequent Flier and friend break into the morturary, steal embalming fluid, and have themselves a drinking party.
    Frequent Flier ends up in the ER. with poisoning and makes a complete recovery.

    (Although I always wanted to know what kind of shape his liver was in.)
  5. by   sandypinktruck
    We had a young man who arrived in the wee hours of the morning with his Senior class ring stuck on his penis. Even funnier was the fact that he passed by two larger EDs in his home town to drive thirty miles to our rural one!

    Another one I remember well was a gentleman who inserted a wire coathanger in himself through his rectum. Once inside it had more room to open up and less to come out. When I went into his room he told me he knew he would need surgery because he had done this before! The xray was amazing
    Gee, and i thought coat hangers were for opening car doors!!
  6. by   KIMRNNYC
    Quote from michaelssss
    about 10 years ago my wife and i were getting a bit frisky in the kitchen and we were both naked. she grabbed for my special purpose and by pure reflexes i jumped away and caught my scrotum - that's right - scrotum, on a kitchen cabinet and tore a small hole in it. well, thinking i would never have any more children, i called the er and told the nurse what had happened. i could tell she was trying no to laugh and told me there was nothing she could do unless i came in. so i did. after a few pokes and prods i was sent home with nothing more than a bandage. a small bandage at that. needless to say once my wife reported my er trip to the relatives i got all kinds of testicular jokes! but, everything's fine now. the boys healed well.
    i was working as a unit secretary in a hospital while in nursing school. i received a call from the ed saying they had an admit for our floor and they would be faxing up the admission report.

    dx: penile trauma.

    after arriving to the floor, we received the details. he became a bit frisky in the kitchen as well. w/o going into great detail, he was facing the kitchen cabinets when his penile piercing caught on the cabinet knob, turned around and yepper, you guessed it, ripped the piercing right out. after surgery to repair the damage, he came to our floor. he and his partner were very funny about it and he was a great patient.

    p.s. hiv +, hopefully had teaching before discharge about the dangers of piercings and transmission possibilities associated with them.
  7. by   bpowers
    Nomination for the funniest story. LOL

    Quote from Ruby Vee
    A friend of mine was doing his first night of internship on an ER rotation in Kansas. There was a thunderstorm that night -- thunder and lightning lighting up the sky! He was at the reception desk of the ER, staring at the rain through the sliding glass doors. A lightning bolt lit up the parking lot, and he saw an incredibly macbre sight! A man came walking through the rain, carrying a limp, unconscious woman. But the truly bizarre thing was he appeared to have a hatchet protruding from his skull.

    Yup! The guy got all likkered up and decided to try his hatchet-throwing skills by throwing at a target affixed to a cement wall in his basement. The hatchet hit the wall, bounced back, and embedded the sharp edge in the guy's skull. Frightened, he went upstairs to get his wife to drive him to the ER. She took one look at him and passed out. So he picked her up and put her in his pick-up truck to drive her to the ER.

    Seems that the hatchet went right between the two lobes. It was successful removed and the guy was discharged without any discernable brain damage. (And ADDITIONAL brain damage!)
  8. by   CashewLPN
    Quote from sandypinktruck
    Gee, and i thought coat hangers were for opening car doors!!
    I always thought you hung your coat on them.... wow, I never knew I was that naive.
  9. by   LilgirlRN
    Took care of one young woman who was going to have sex, didn't want to get pregnant so used a contraceptive suppository... only she put it in the wrong hole! She inserted it into the urinary meatus. I had to cath her for a urine and there was wax floating on the top of the urine when it cooled! Very painful indeed.

    Had a man come in as a transfer from an outlying hospital to see one of our urologists. His GF caught him messing with another woman, grabbed his penis and almost pulled the thing off. When he got to us he had it wrapped in a two inch ace bandage, looked so funny... dunno if he regained full use of it or not. The GF was arrested for assault. (yes ETOH was involved, both parties)

    I live in Alabama, we have a lot of tornadoes here. Had a really huge one a few years ago, was an F5, did lots of damage and some people were killed. Got a man in with a broom handle through both of his calves. Not a funny injury by any means but unusual. His wife was one of the victims that died.

    I work in triage now and had a man come in , I asked what was wrong and he told me he had the craps, then says, ma'am I lied to you just now. I really don't have the craps, I have something up my butt that shouldn't be there. I asked what it was, he says I'll show ya. Pulls out a little zip up bag and out of it gets an 8 in tall, 6 in around egg shaped paper weight. As I am taking his surgical history he tells me he has a colostomy... I knew why he had to have a colostomy but I just wanted to hear him say it. So I said, did you have colon cancer, he said no, I put too many things up in there and I couldn't make my ******* stay shut no more. EEEEEEEEK!
  10. by   herminasgirl
    Quote from LilgirlRN
    Took care of one young woman who was going to have sex, didn't want to get pregnant so used a contraceptive suppository... only she put it in the wrong hole! She inserted it into the urinary meatus. I had to cath her for a urine and there was wax floating on the top of the urine when it cooled! Very painful indeed.

    Had a man come in as a transfer from an outlying hospital to see one of our urologists. His GF caught him messing with another woman, grabbed his penis and almost pulled the thing off. When he got to us he had it wrapped in a two inch ace bandage, looked so funny... dunno if he regained full use of it or not. The GF was arrested for assault. (yes ETOH was involved, both parties)

    I live in Alabama, we have a lot of tornadoes here. Had a really huge one a few years ago, was an F5, did lots of damage and some people were killed. Got a man in with a broom handle through both of his calves. Not a funny injury by any means but unusual. His wife was one of the victims that died.

    I work in triage now and had a man come in , I asked what was wrong and he told me he had the craps, then says, ma'am I lied to you just now. I really don't have the craps, I have something up my butt that shouldn't be there. I asked what it was, he says I'll show ya. Pulls out a little zip up bag and out of it gets an 8 in tall, 6 in around egg shaped paper weight. As I am taking his surgical history he tells me he has a colostomy... I knew why he had to have a colostomy but I just wanted to hear him say it. So I said, did you have colon cancer, he said no, I put too many things up in there and I couldn't make my ******* stay shut no more. EEEEEEEEK!
    You Know before I became a nurse I had no idea how sheltered my life had really been!!!!!!
  11. by   RN92
    I was in triage. A old man wearing overalls had paint all over his body. (thats not why he came) He said he had an accident at work. He was sawing some wood and accidentally cut his finger off. He's telling me this with a dumb grin on his face..he wasnt the least bit upset.!! He had wrapped a rag around the site and sure enough, there was no finger there - just a lot of bleeding. He was very apologetic for getting blood on my floor. (super sweet guy). The funny thing is he was using a HANDSAW!! Then he tells me this is the second time he's lost a finger with his handsaw. He asked if we could sew it back on? I asked if he brought it. He starts digging through all of the pockets on his overalls with his one good hand ( as if you'd forget where you put your lost body parts!!)He pulled his whole index (ex-index) finger out of the pocket and handed it to me - the guys still grinning. It amazes me how long some people make it in life. I suggested he find another line of work.
  12. by   RNin92
    Quote from Farkinott
    from experience.................

    You only ever chuck petrol on the fire once! :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire :imbar
    So sorry!!!
  13. by   danu3
    Quote from ZAHMAN
    Sexual experiences in the ICU.
    I had a young lady with a cervical injury who was also hypersexual. Well, she rang her call light when her nurse was busy so I went into her room. I asked her what she needed, to my surprise she replied " I want you to F*$# me". With a straight face I replied, "Thats not appropriate". Being quick witted as she was she replied, "Your right, will you make love to me". I had no reply after that, just a good laugh.

    ZAHMAN
    Probably the following answer will help "I am sorry Ms, that is outside the bounds of my professional responsibility. The service you requested was not part of the nursing school's training."

    -Dan

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