Evil People

ClaireMacl · Jan 3, 2006

I guess we are lucky in my ED because anyone under 18 who comes in intoxicated, having self harmed, overdosed or anything of that sort automatically gets referred to paediatrics and admitted. Granted, that wouldn't have stopped the rediculous behaviour of this mother, but at least that child would have had a psychiatric and social evaluation before discharge.

Sounds like complete hell what you went through!

LeahJet, ASN, RN · Jan 3, 2006

It's about time for someone to pipe in with the inevitable "other side of the coin" and tell of their most horrid experience in the ER (as a patient)... :rolleyes:

DapperRN · Jan 3, 2006

WOW! I tell ya, I love ER but after I've worked a few shifts I can't wait to get back to ICU where my patient is on a vent (I know it sounds brutal but its true). My tolerance for that kind of garbage lasts about three seconds. I love it when some family member attempts to educate you on IV starts. I usually say "believe it or not I have started these before, but thanks" it typically shuts them up. Or if they are really irritating I say "really, ok good I've never started one before" (and if you sound really serious it shuts them up for a few seconds) I know that's not what nurse educators would like to call therapeautic but hey, so far its diffused some pretty tense situations. Ya after that shift I might have picked up an application at McDonalds on the way home.

hollykate · Jan 3, 2006

Yeah. A lot of bad behavior seems to focus on IV's. This thread has made me feel better about recent behavior in the ED. I agree with Gompers. Lots of behavior has to do with needing to control situations. I usually do a lot of listening and then spend a lot of time looking for an IV site.

Recenlty I had a women I had to stick twice. The first time I really missed like a champ. I'm still sure the vein was there, why I couldn;t get into it I don't know. I then went to the other arm and found a decent vein that I could lodge a 22g in (only...) The son told me that I should call the IV team...I had to explain we are the IV team. Luckily I got it because after I finished her treatment, I was told he is one of the smarmiest personal injury lawyers in the area. Glad I didn't know that ahead of time!

Sometimes I wonder what it is like to have a job where it is not regualr practice to get shouted at by people....

teeituptom, BSN, RN · Jan 6, 2006

When it comes to people like that, you need to remember not to let it get personal for you. For me I just smile sweetly and talk slowly and softly, while inside Im imagining inserting 24 fr foleys and rectal tubes into them at the same time. Yes its a control issue whether on the patients behalf or that of some family member who is trying to exert control over their impotency at the time.

If there are any patients I truly dislike they would be Republicans, Lawyers, sport figures, and most of all journalists, particularly journalists.

oneillk1 · Jan 6, 2006

I think from the get-go patients and their families need to be informed of what is appropriate behavior towards staff. If a family member becomes abusive, they should be removed by security.
I also think there needs to be mass education that the purpose of a nurse is not to be a doormat or someone to abuse.

I fully agree with this - if people (not the patients) are impeding a nurse's ability to do their job (be it physically or mentally) they should be removed from the nurse's workplace. End of discussion.

I think there should also be mass education for the public that there will be people more sick than them in hospital. They should be prepared to wait a long time. If they get seen quickly with a small injury (for example) that is their good luck!

rntraveler · Jan 6, 2006

We had a loud and demanding pt on dialysis years ago. Drawing on my psych background, I correctly guessed that he was afraid of dying (not an unreasonable fear as he had lost both legs to diabetic complications and was on dialysis and unstable). Once this was passed on to other staff,he suddenly became very pleasant and reasonable. I think the staff became more reassuring and less defensive. That might have been a factor with the loud Mom-perhaps she was very afraid of what trouble her daughter might get into and realized that she was no longer able to control her daughter.Oh,there is psych in every department of the hospital!!

carlarn, BSN, RN · Jan 6, 2006

"Other side of the coin" stories... Hmmm.

Well it had to have been when I suffered a broken nose--work related--and I was working in the ED as a nurse at that time. I was hit in the nose by an errant suction cannister (long story) and when I tried to get my colleagues to cover for me so I could go home, it was a slow day, not a one of them would help me. I eventually went home an hour early (why bother?). I returned to the ED for follow up and to write an incident report at my supervisor's insistance. I had to see the ED doc and have an X-Ray. I triaged myself, took myself to radiology and wrote my own discharge instructions. My supervisor felt the need to discuss my ED behavior with me. I told her that my colleagues didn't feel the need to care for me when I asked for it so why should I bother to let them care for me at all? Wrong answer.

sayitgirl · Jan 6, 2006

I left medical nursing and went into psych...and left the grief behind....

bgh68 · Jan 6, 2006

First, congratulations on controling your temper under such nasty circumstances. Way to go. Tag teaming another nurse when dealing with this kind of nutty situation sometimes works but you did great to maintain the patients safety and walk away. What would be great would be to talk briefly to the family calmly, in control and empathetic (this takes some experience in acting!) and firmly let them know that there is a minimum level of behavior of family here, that of course this is a difficult and stressful time for them. "you came here for us to help and we certainly will help and we need your cooperation." You may need to advance to "we will not tolerate..." If you can't at that moment do it, get someone who will. Above all, do not loose your enthusiam for nursing because of someone who acts like that. Remember you see people at their worst and some of them don't even have a decent "best" behavior. Calling security escalates the situation, save it for extreme, extreme times. Remember those people in the past who made your day! We have to be careful not to sink to the rude persons level, really, and use words like "you better...", or anything threatening in the least. There are emtala, cobra issues !!!!!, rude patient or not. Let it roll off your back and be thankful they're not your family or friends!!!!!

justlisa3928 · Jan 6, 2006

Wow,

The only advice that I can give to you (and it is always easier to give advice when you weren't the one that was emotionally impacted by the situation), would to be to try to put it behind you, because there are people in the world who are truly not happy and would do anything to bring you to their level. You are only hurting yourself to keep emotions bottled up inside over someone who probably would like nothing better then for you to react in this way. She is probably the reason her 16 year old daughter drinks alcohol, and gets drunk, to try to drown her emotions that her mother makes her feel.

You can not control how people act or treat other people, but you can attempt to control your own emotions, just being in the nursing profession requires a lot of positive emotional stability, please don't let a few individuals who are ignorant and negative to so much in life, keep you from staying positive and compassionate. Hang in there and forget about her, I'm sure there are quite a few who have already done so, including her family.

This is why she is probably so unhappy herself. Misery loves company. :lol_hitti

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bgh68 · Jan 6, 2006

One quick note- after 35 years of workingas a RN, the standard is 2 attempts for veni[uncture or IV start, then have someone else perform the skill.