Angry mom treated rotten in ER today

[Purple Princess]

I just am not sure what to do. I'm sure if i call the hospital tomorrow to complain i'll get transferred here and there and finally to an answering machine or get hung up on or no one will return my call. My mom is going through the change and her hormones are messed up causing dramatic lady partsl bleeding. she often wears 3-4 pads at a time, underwear ruined, our chairs have towels on them, it's bad. she had a d/c and removal of polyps, cancer ruled out. no health coverage and medicaid won't help. she's weak, looks pale, gets horrible leg cramps etc. today was no exception and our bathroom looked like an operating room. she's had the problem for almost 2 years and apparently little can be done. she's falling asleep and uncomfortable in the waiting room like she might pass out. after 3 hours of waiting i finally told them she had better get examined right quick. got in there the nurse drew blood, and then helped her clean up and changed her bed. so far good, that nurse was an angel. the doctor comes though and basically says they can't do anything for her today, she has to make an appointment with her gynecologist which of course is ALWAYS SO BUSY, might not see her for a couple months. meanwhile she was told if she had problems to go to the ER. then they draw more blood. her count was ok so no transfusion or anything. another guy comes in to start an iv and mom asked for what and he didn't know! so she wouldn't let him so he takes his cart and leaves. another nurse comes in says here's your paper you can leave. she had to go to the bathroom and told them that but they wouldn't even give her anything to cover with to go out in the hall. i won't say what my loving mother did next but well a mess was made. her pants were soaked from blood so she had to leave in a hospital gown, no scrub pants were offered to walk out in the cold. and they didn't even really offer a wheelchair since she is weak and gets light headed. i pulled my car up had the heater going and luckily had a blanket in the car. i realize it's christmas but god last christmas i worked 3 days later i was terminated from my job because they wouldn't hold my position for recovery and 2 days after that i was in the operating room having surgery. medicaide won't help me either. i'm soon to be a nurse, helping people, and no one cares when you or a loved one is sick. what is this world coming to?

[Purple Princess]

thank you to all that have replied. Yes my mom's problem is chronic with daily bleeding but on a few occasions especially that day the amount was massive. she was weak, pale, ashen looking, and woozy upon standing. even when all this was explained she was still told she'd have to wait until march to see the gyno. they won't do a hysterectomy cause they say she's too young( 49). and if they do ablation they can't tell later if she has cancer or not. she does have abnormal cells in there and a history of polyps which were removed almost a year ago by a d and c. she has calcium deposits in her breasts. i didn't know what to do. she did see a specialist recently who ran some tests. i don't know what they'll decide. but she is on medicine, told to eat a healthy diet with protein, increase fluids and iron. i don't have insurance either right now. I'm finishing school and looking for a nursing job. I have a pcp who i make payments to. But i also make payments to anesthesia from a previous surgery, glasses, and hospital. I get county funding for mental health treatment, but meds are a worry, I work part time and don't get many hours I probably make 100 to 150 a month. but due to my assets i can't get medicaid even temporarily. I'm going to school, I work hard, care about people, but constantly worry if something happens again how i will get help to pay for it. I see a psychiatrist, pcp for check ups or illness, a counselor and then just my eyes and teeth. I know health care workers need paid too heck i will have rent, bills etc when i'm a nurse. but why is a check up 75-100 and my medication would easily cost me 200 or more a month. I just want to get better and be a productive citizen and my mom wants healthy too. it really sucks.

[Liddle Noodnik]

Unfortunately, for the uninsured, poor and even middle class, the ER is often their only source of medical treatment. And in many communities, physicians will not accept new patients without insurance or the money to pay their fees at the time of the visit... Hate to tell you this but you are there for the convenience of the patient. The patient is not their for your convenience.

Grannynurseretired:balloons:

Good points, Grannynurseretired!

I guess they need to have more nurses, and more time to decompress. And we all (nurses) need more ed on compassion for those less fortunate, sophisticated, educated, American, or whatever. It is hard working in the ER -

Patients need more education too on appropriate use of the ER - and I know that any of the insurance co's, whether private, HMO, Medicare, Medicaid, etc., do try to educate people on how to get care, who to call, what the ER and urgent care are for...

I think it's good that this site is here to help nurses to blow off steam.

I am really glad that you spoke up. And your ER sounds like it was a really interesting place!

[Liddle Noodnik]

thank you to all that have replied. Yes my mom's problem is chronic with daily bleeding but on a few occasions especially that day the amount was massive. she was weak, pale, ashen looking, and woozy upon standing.

That's what I figured, that her condition worsened enough for you to feel she needed emergency treatment.

Are you any more satisfied about how things went in the ER, now that you know it was just for the emergency, and you found out that yes, she was stable enough to go home?

I do hope that they soon find out what to do with her. I know of women who have hysterectomies much earlier than 40 something - meanwhile, it seems that they gave her some good advice about diet and etc. She needs to get herself strong enough for IF she has to have surgery, or whatever.

Now my advice to you is to do all you can to keep yourself strong and healthy, physically and emotionally. Then what mom is going thru won't seem as overwhelming. You DO have a lot on your plate!!!

[DoubleblessedRN, ADN, RN, EMT-B, EMT-P]

they won't do a hysterectomy cause they say she's too young( 49).

What?! I don't think 49 is too young to have a hysterectomy. I'm only 31 and my gyn stated he may consider one for me in several years because of pelvic pain related to endometriosis. While the pain can be unbearable at times, I'm not having the problems your mother seems to be having. It sounds like she would be a good candidate for one. Is it possible to see another Dr? I am sorry that she is going through this and I hope it all works out.

[charebec65]

I can't really say anymore than what's already been said. I feel badly for your mother and hope she can get the help she needs.

I really don't think a doctor's tx. of a pt. hinges on insurance. Non-essential tests and procedures may not be done on an uninsured pt. but basic tx would be the same. I've been uninsured and am a cardiac patient. At the time I was a single mom of two. I simply had to scrimp to come up with the money for my cardiology appointments and my medication (which was $75 a month back in 1989 when I was uninsured, a single parent and pretty much broke. It wasn't easy but I was never treated in a negative way.

During this period I also became pregnant (not a good thing with my cardiac hx but I took that pill every morning without fail, the pill failed). I didn't qualify for state medicaid (she suggested quitting my job and living on welfare). It so happened that my daughter needed surgery (for which my ex husband carried insurance). We were in the hospital for the surgery and I was talking to her nurse. When her nurse learned I was uninsured, pregnant and a cardiac patient (and no prenatal care as of then) she became a great source of information. I was treated with the utmost respect and she put me onto a state program for the working poor that didn't have access to insurance (that the medicaid worker should have told me about). I don't remember her name but this was at St. Agnes Hospital in Baltimore and I'll never forget how wonderful she was to us.

[nuangel1, BSN, RN]

That's what I figured, that her condition worsened enough for you to feel she needed emergency treatment.

Are you any more satisfied about how things went in the ER, now that you know it was just for the emergency, and you found out that yes, she was stable enough to go home?

I do hope that they soon find out what to do with her. I know of women who have hysterectomies much earlier than 40 something - meanwhile, it seems that they gave her some good advice about diet and etc. She needs to get herself strong enough for IF she has to have surgery, or whatever.

Now my advice to you is to do all you can to keep yourself strong and healthy, physically and emotionally. Then what mom is going thru won't seem as overwhelming. You DO have a lot on your plate!!!

very welll said .i agree with you .purple princess take care.

[nuangel1, BSN, RN]

I feel bad for your mothers problems. I think the thing to rember is that if your mother is "stabel", then her problem is not concidered an emergency. Unfortunatley, many people are without adequate heath care coverage and resort to using the er as their Dr. That is why the er dc instructions say , if the problem continues fallow up with primary care etc.. I have to agree , I do not discriminate between medicade and insurance pt's . If the pt is an inapropriate admission the insurance co. will not pay the hospital either. If the pt doesn't meet admission criteria they can not be admitted. I also agree that if I gave every pt free meds, free gowns and blankets and taxi cab rides home ,the hospital would be in further financial problems. Pt's need to have a different view of the ER. If you know your mom is bleeding, take clothes with her to wear home or leave and bring some back. Don't expect free stuff, hospitals can't afford it. It's not that medical staff don't care they are just overwhelmed with pt's who are having the same problems. Granted the man doing the IV should have explained things, but stand up for yourself. If he didn't insist that someone explain. Don't just sit by. As an er nurse I find that there are many times I explain things to pt. they don't understand , don't bother to attempt to clarifie and are angry when we go ahead with procedures, when we are under the assumption they understand because they didn't ask further questions. I remember the good old days that we could do all kinds of things for pts. But those days are gone. I also remember when people only went to the er , dr etc.. when they really need to. (Your mother really needs a Dr.) It's amazing how many people go to the ER with colds, cough and fever with children that have not gotten tylenol or motrin.

from a fellow er nurse well said.

[hispanicpanic]

I recently had to have a hysterectomy(uterus only) because of adenomyosis which caused me to go into hypovolemic shock. Though it can be a process if you contact your local county hospital they can direct you to their OBGYN clinic/ER for care. If your mother is truly saturating a pad or more an hour then her H/H should definitely be low enough to warrant an emergency hysterectomy or at least ablation. Good luck.

[Altra, BSN, RN]

Hate to tell you this but you are there for the convenience of the patient. The patient is not their for your convenience.

Grannynurseretired:balloons:

Ah, but the ER is not about "convenience" at all ... or at least it should be. The ER is there to stabilize pts. experiencing a medical emergency.

[grannynurseretired]

Good points, Grannynurseretired!

I guess they need to have more nurses, and more time to decompress. And we all (nurses) need more ed on compassion for those less fortunate, sophisticated, educated, American, or whatever. It is hard working in the ER -

Patients need more education too on appropriate use of the ER - and I know that any of the insurance co's, whether private, HMO, Medicare, Medicaid, etc., do try to educate people on how to get care, who to call, what the ER and urgent care are for...

I think it's good that this site is here to help nurses to blow off steam.

I am really glad that you spoke up. And your ER sounds like it was a really interesting place!

Kings County was a fun and exciting place to work. And we got plenty of different types of patients, including frequent flyers. I agree that people need more education as to the appropriate use of an ER. But until this country recognizes the need for universal health care, people will continue to use the ER as a personal physician because they have no other choice. Most people do not go to a ER by choice but because their health problem has become to unmanageable for them. And some return sicker because no one asked if they could really afford the prescriptions they received or if they had drug coverage. This is a good place to blow off steam but I get rather sick of the proprietary nature of some nurses concerning THEIR ERS. I worked for more then twenty five years as a nurse and have had unhappy, sometimes potentially unmanageable patients but unless physically threaten, I put up with a great deal. And tried hard to remember one thing "I was there for the patients, they were entitled to my respect and care, even if their complaint was for an in grown toenail.

Grannynurse

[nuangel1, BSN, RN]

Kings County was a fun and exciting place to work. And we got plenty of different types of patients, including frequent flyers. I agree that people need more education as to the appropriate use of an ER. But until this country recognizes the need for universal health care, people will continue to use the ER as a personal physician because they have no other choice. Most people do not go to a ER by choice but because their health problem has become to unmanageable for them. And some return sicker because no one asked if they could really afford the prescriptions they received or if they had drug coverage. This is a good place to blow off steam but I get rather sick of the proprietary nature of some nurses concerning THEIR ERS. I worked for more then twenty five years as a nurse and have had unhappy, sometimes potentially unmanageable patients but unless physically threaten, I put up with a great deal. And tried hard to remember one thing "I was there for the patients, they were entitled to my respect and care, even if their complaint was for an in grown toenail.

Grannynurse

while yes it is a general sx of our healthcare system.alot of times it is the pcp that sends them .i also agree we wouldn't have a job without pts.however i am there to take care of pt stabilize and either admit or d/c pt not for the pts convenience.also while the pts should be treated with respect so should the staff.as ed nurse i have been verbally physically and psychologically abused .it is part of the job sometimes.i have been a nurse 20 yrs in icu pacu er etc i have always taken good care of my pts .while a pt has a right ,as long as competent,to refuse a staff member or a treatment ,no one not even you have the right to be abusive to staff.you don't like the care leave it is your right .and until you walk in my shoes you can't and shouldn't judge my practice.ps if pt comes in for a non lifethreatening problem ,regardless of reason they cane to ed,that person needs to understand they will have a longer wait .the lifethreatening situations will and should come first.

[CseMgr1, ASN, RN]

Unfortunately, for the uninsured, poor and even middle class, the ER is often their only source of medical treatment. And in many communities, physicians will not accept new patients without insurance or the money to pay their fees at the time of the visit. So, the comments regarding the purpose of ERs is moot. I worked in one of this countries largest ERs---Kings County, Brooklyn. We saw a large number of chronic problems as well as Level One traumas. And we treated everyone, making no distinction between chronic or acute, unless you were actively bleeding, in acute respiratory distress, suffering from chest pain. I am so tired of hearing nurses complain about people cluttering up THEIR ER, with their non-emergency problems. The 'purple princess' felt the extent of her mother's bleeding was an emergency, even when some do not believe it was. Hate to tell you this but you are there for the convenience of the patient. The patient is not their for your convenience.

Grannynurseretired:balloons:

THANK you! My sister, who is uninsured, was basically treated like crap in the ER of a local hospital back in July of 2005. She had been experiencing lower abdominal pain and hematuria for weeks, and had no other place to go for treatment. They ran tests and told her and my BIL that "they both had STD and for them to go home and take precautions". Huh??? She found out from her PCP 24 hours later that she had a malignant tumor on her bladder instead and was immediately scheduled for surgery....at another hospital.

How in the world can you be diagnosed with STD one day and bladder cancer the next?? You CAN'T. :angryfire