I have 2 sons with Aspergers Syndrome. This is a developmental disability-high functioning autism. In Calif, too many people want their children to be included. (That means they are in regular ed classes with assistance. They have IEP's (Individualized Education Plans) which addresses their specific problems, needs and how the school is going to solve it. Unfortunately, the schools
usually end up lying to the parents, not telling them all the options available, and trying to do the least they can get away with, While, everytime he has a problem, it's bad parenting, or he needs more drugs to control him. Worst is what happens to these kids when the other kids decide they're "wierd, stupid or a bother" and the parents don't want them around their kids, because they get into trouble. Then, our son's emotions go into the toilet.
You didn't say why you chose to put the boys into public school and I DO understand the expense of private school, but if the boys didn't have these problems in a smaller, Christian school, get them out of public school before they destroy your sons.
We have done the military, Catholic, boys only, private, and public school thing with both of our sons, and the public school did destroy our older son, who's now 19. With the 8 year old, no way will the public school get their hands on him for any longer than they did. We've had behavior plans, specialists, medication, tests, EEG's special diets, I don't think there wasn't much these 2 didn't try, but in an environment where they aaren't happy,(and if they're acting out, they're not happy) they won't do well/ Good luck and let us know what happens