I have been an ICU nurse (male nurse) for near 17 years. I was an ICU nurse during my time I served in the Navy and served in Iraqi Freedom and Enduring Freedom. I'm really good at I do I and I always find myself carry the load, including when I was in the military, when it comes to assignements and collateral duties. I work in a CV SICU and we always have to float to the Neuro ICUs, PCUs, and Med/Surg ICUs and it's generally constant choas where I work and there I a lot of bad medicine being practiced too. I never get help because (I'll give myself this alias) because the general response is - "J-Rod is tough and can deal with it." Essentially I feel like I'm going to work in a bomb factory. I dread going to work, it has affected my physical and mental health. I have missed a lot of work because of this dread or feeling like my teeth are going to explode. I'm now on BuSpar (for anxiety) and antidepressants and they don't seem to work. I find myself short tempered, insomnia, either not eating at all or binging, and my hair is falling out. The worst part is, i beat myself up for feeling this way. I know I'm burned out, I am a whimp, what should I do? Once I have my skills under my belt, it's hard to get out of Critical Care.