bpomeroy59

Jrod, I really find your situation disturbing!!! I totally agree with the others that you need to get out of this situation. If you still love critical care, try a different hospital . Not all ICU' s are like what you are experiencing . Your present situation is taking a enormous toll on your physiological AND psychological health !!!! You are in imminent danger of a major health problem ( CVA, MI, etc.) if you do not leave this situation. Please protect yourself, your license, and your patients and get out of there!!! If you have an Android device, download the app "Nursing Jobs". It literally has hundreds of open jobs within 25, 50, or 100 miles of your home --- the choice is up to you. It has jobs for infusion nurses in free standing infusion centers, home health, office nurse positions, office positions @ health insurance companies counseling patients in wellness centers, hospice nurse, nursing home, and hospital positions. It also has positions for research assistants in university settings --- esp cardiology research positions !!!!! Take some time off and explore your options !!! I promise you will not regret it !!!! I found a position as a nurse in an outpatient eye surgery center using this app. This app even has job listings for the VA, such as positions in hemodialysis, anti- coat clinic, ICU, ER, clinics, and OR . PLEASE listen to your body ---- it is trying to tell you that you need a change !!! Also ever consider teaching or agency or even legal nurse consulting ????? Send out some resumes to law offices and see what happens !!!! Lastly even try combining several part time jobs so you have something different everyday !!! God Bless and best wishes !!! Bruce M. Pomeroy, MSN, RN

I am really sorry this is happening to you !!! Not all ICU's are like this !! I started out in an ICU much like the one you are in with nurses just like the ones you work with. I lasted 3 months. I then moved on to the hospital " across town " and found their ICU totally different. They had an outstanding preceptor program and nurses who really cared about each other. I lasted 15 YEARS !!!!! Your preceptor should be giving you WEEKLY evaluations that include strengths/ weaknesses, areas for improvement, and goals for the upcoming week. Your preceptor should be with you ( like your shadow) whenever you are doing patient care from the first day of orientation to the last minute of orientation and not " precept from the desk". You should have the SAME preceptor every single day so your progress can be evaluated properly. Your preceptor should possess nurturing abilities, NEVER be sarcastic, and be well grounded in principles of adult learning. Your success should be the priority !!!! You should NEVER EVER be left alone during your orientation!!!!! You should also be in a critical care nursing class at the same time as your orientation. Your preceptor should also be supportive of you and ALWAYS lend " a shoulder to cry on ". Keeping a "stiff upper lip" and "taking the high road" only goes so far. If your ICU cannot provide the above items in your orientation, then you may need to move on to a different ICU. This kind of experience is not worth it. You may also need to discuss you feelings with the nurse manager so a new plan for your orientation can be formulated !!!! We need to stop devouring and digesting our young !!!!! God Bless and wishing you great success !!!!! Sincerely, Bruce M. Pomeroy, MSN, RN

I would like to begin my reply by stating that I have been an RN for 33 years ( next month), have an MSN in cardiopulmonary nursing ( teaching option ) from SLU , and have 16+ years working in critical care, 16+ years in hospital supervision, and 8+ years teaching nursing clinicals ( incl. critical care nursing clinicals ). That being said, I am extremely sorry something like this happened to you. I am very deeply disturbed about your experience, both from critical care nursing and from educational points of view ( even though incidents like this occur more and more frequently ). Nearly each sentence you wrote contains management and education " red flags". I am a firm believer that nurses should not " eat their young" and you were not only eaten, but devoured and digested. I only hope the horrible scars of this incident do not permanently damage you !!!! First I want you to remember that not all nurses should be preceptors/educators. It takes a special person to be an educator. You must possess nurturing abilities as well as abilities to UNDERSTAND and abide by principles of adult learning. Too many times preceptors are chosen simply because they " have worked there a long time ". Unfortunately they do not understand or have been exposed to adult learning theory. The responses given you by your preceptor ( while trying to stimulate critical thinking) were inappropriate given the fact you are new to critical care. You were not an experienced critical care nurse ------ if you would have known the answer, you would not have asked the question !!! No question is stupid, esp when it comes to orientation!!!!! Another problem I have is with what happened your final day of orientation. I would sum it up as unforgivable ! I want you to always remember that a cardinal rule of management is that items brought up on an evaluation should NEVER be a surprise to the employee!!!! Clearly feedback to you about your performance was clearly lacking. You should have received WEEKLY evaluations from your preceptor that should have included strengths/ weaknesses, areas for improvement, and goals for the upcoming week. If you were not making satisfactory progress, your preceptor should have been communicating such information to both you and the nurse manager and appropriate interventions should have been developed by both the nurse manager and your preceptor. If you were not going to satisfactorily complete your orientation, you should have known about it LONG before the last day of an 11 week orientation !!!!!! In addition , your preceptor should have been present when you were given the bad news in order to provide feedback !!!!! I hope this helps you in some small way deal with the horrible psychological trauma you experienced with this situation and can move on and become the really good ICU nurse you can !!!! I would gladly be willing to talk to you more about this situation on the phone if you would like. . Sincerely , Bruce M. Pomeroy, MSN, RN. God Bless and wishing you continued success !!!!!