I dont know where else to turn. - page 2

in advanced I dont want nothing negative Ive got enough negativity in my life right now I dont want to hear oh this has nothing to do with nursing because you aint an aide no more... no it has everyhing to do with that because I... Read More

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    ******Okay, so you have actually had someone say, to your face, "I am going to do everything possible to get you fired"? Is that what you're telling me? If so, I understand where your hostility is coming from. But I have never heard someone actually SAY that to another person. I have seen it happen, ONE time, but the person doing the complaining never actually told the person they were complaining on. Oh, and btw, it backfired and got the complainer fired.

    As far as employers not talking to you about your problems before firing you, again, I find this kind of hard to believe. I mean, I know there are "90 day probationary periods" in which the employers try to see if you are the right fit for the position, and I have known many people that have been terminated during such a period, but I have never known an employer to fire someone with no warning. That seems uncouth to me.

    You say you "need somone to show [you] how to fix it so it [doesn't] happen again." This is not their job. Yes, you can ask where you went wrong, what you did that lead them to terminating you, but about 98% of the time you're not going to receive an answer. I have been in a managerial position before, and I know first hand that explaining, in depth, a termination can lead to such things as lawsuits, therefore most employers will leave you with a "no comment" answer rather than trying to explain their reasoning************

    YES I have had it said to my face, and in fact it was by an aide that thought he was all high and mighty only because he was fired then rehired but he was always late to work and never ever did his job to I am being completly honest with you. In fact after my first three months in to my job I rarely gossipped and I honestly never said to things about this person except I was mad that so and so got fired for doing there job yet he was still around and a lot of the other nurses and aides agreed with me and I wasnt the only one who said it either, so I see where that could have landed me in hot water. That person was mad because I had called off becuase I sick and had to go to the hospital. and they made him stay over an extra four hours. Plus my aide job was my first job what so ever and your right I probably should have just let it go but I went and told the DON and ADON. they told me I had nothing to worry about then the DON got fired and we got a new DON witch I had worked with on the floor she was the nurse I always worked under, but it wasnt her that wanted me out it was the owner. She always told me to never quit because I was good at what I did and she like how I worked, even the ADON said the same thing. I understood that the DON had her job to do and friendship or what ever was last I will admit I was mad at her at first but I later got over it when I relized this and I told her this and she told me she wasnt mad at me and that she hoped the best for me and what not. and another thing I have had people that I thought were friends in my childhood/high school years that ended up screwing me over and it just ended out friendship and it was over stupid things but its whatever that was then this is now.

    as for the warning thing at my last job I never got it it was just oh well sorry I have to let you go because I got one or two complaints from the same two staff members and well I hear all these rumors about you good bye. When they should have said this is your only warning but you need to change this this and this before you come back or atleast work on it. at my aide job there was one time like 4 or 5 months in to it I was told this as a rumor I went and asked about it only becuase I wanted to know why when I thought i did my job and I was just a little worried. They said yeah it was true but we are giving you another chance. It was all because the nurse I was working under (a different one from the one I sated that became DON) didnt like that I was down the other hall answering call lights after I was caught up there were no call lights on on my hall my residents were in bed and had there needs met. she was just mad because there was a few times a call light would come on, it was for a resident who needed a bed pan every hour that was it, and she couldnt find me to answer it she knew where I was and in fact why couldnt she get up from chatting with the other nurses and go do it? there was only 2 aides that night and it was somthing simple. plus she was one of those nurses that felt it was above her to help her aides or do aide work her self. I explained that to the ADON she understood and I told her they know what Im doing they know they can find me they know that they can make a list and I will get to it. but if someone needs a bed pan I mean its not like you are in the middle of doing a med pass or saving a life no your sitting there chatting with the other nurses about how your husbands a cheating alcaholic. I belive in team work so if I have nothing else to do and I see one of my other coworkers struggling I try my best to help them. because it all comes down to the residents/patients. then like a few days before my 8months with my aide job they terminated me, I dont want to go in to details. as for my aide job Im just going to say I left because I felt it wasnt a right fit.

    as for them showing me how to fix it your right but I atleast want to be told and atleast givin some kind insight so I can do it. not for them to nesicarily show me how to fix it. Ill just come here and ask you you are giving me what I need and I like that! at times I like it when some people are actually mean and firm with me (no offense). with my cashier job I did ask well what and why it was said I didnt ask for name of who said it I had the idea alot of people told me who to stay away from and who to be careful of and that was one of my good friends that I consider to be like a sister, I only have two good friends that I spend my time with. I mean they could of fired me because they didnt like me and thats the reason they gave when I actually did my job. And dont say Im playing the victim thats just my way of thinking positive and to be able to "cope" if you will. Honestly being a cahier was so easy it was boring and hard for me to take an interest in to.

    and Ill tell you this to Im 19 and gay so I kind of get a thrill listening to the gossip, dont mean I like to spread it though. cause I always have a miserable feeling when I do and a oh my what have I done. because I dont like it done to me so there I need to fix that too. there is a very select few men I am trusting of, so I tend to trust women more and befriends and what not with them first even at work. but women are drama filled I think we all are. just like I feel that when we all get screwed we all tend to play victim whether we are right or wrong because we want someone to be on our side or to just listen. I come here to vent because my mom dont understand and she tends to take the other persons side I dont get that but I dont care I can take care of my self my mom doesnt work with me or closly to me anyway. she goes off by what Im like at home and thats two totally differen things...

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    Okay, that guy that said to your face that he was going to do everything he could to get you fired should have been the one to get fired. Maybe that's just my position, but that's how I feel about it. However, if he regained his job after being fired and retained his job while being late a lot, chances are he was a pretty good aide. Management does pay attention to things like tardiness, but they pay more attention to the level of care being given to the pts.

    You say that after your first three months at your aide job you rarely gossipped. That's good, but next time you need to not gossip from the very beginning. I know it's hard to refrain from the gossip, especially given your circumstances (young, getting along better with women than men), but it's going to have to happen.

    For your aide job being your first job, you can suck that one up. Almost everyone loses their first job. I work with a girl that her first job was working as an LPN. She is a good LPN (I knew her at that time) that rarely made a mistake. Still, the first time she made a mistake, she was terminated. Not three days later, she had her second job, the one she has now.

    As fas as the DON and ADON telling you had nothing to worry about, NEVER BELIEVE MANAGEMENT. They will say whatever they can to keep you feeling secure just to turn around and bend you over the barrel the next day. (Sorry to any DONs or ADONs reading this) I've only been an aide for two months now and I already know not to trust a single thing my DON, ADON, UM, PM, etc say. They're great women. They are always nice to me. But I don't take my complaints to them. Actually, I don't take my complaints to anyone. I usck it up, do the extra work it takes to get the job done right, and move on.

    If you didn't receive any warning on your cashier job, honestly, that doesn't surprise me too much. Typically managers (be the male or female) don't like "alternative lifestyle" employees if they themselves are straight. I don't know what the stigma against GLBT employees is in this country. I, personally, have employeed two people that were same-sex oriented. One, a guy, was damn decent at his job. He worked hard, he didn't call in sick, and I had no drama from him. The other, a female weldor, was probably one of the best weldors I have ever met. Six months into her employment, I sent her to take a welding test for a different company, and she was hired as lead weldor on an off-shore rig.

    Now going and helping out another aide when there's only two of you in the facility is understandable. Personally, I don't leave my hall unless sought out, but there are several times during the week that I am sought out for this or that. I go, I do what's needed (usually transferring a non-mechanical lift pt), and I go back to my hall. If you went to another hall to catch a light, I applaud you. Personally, I am of the mindset that a nurse should be required to do "aide work" when they aren't busy with med pass, and let's face it, they're not ALWAYS busy with med pass. I have ONE nurse at my facility that will help me with "aide work." She has helped me give a bed bath, helped me change a bed, helped me feed pts, helped me change diapers, etc. She's my favorite nurse, and if I could work with her more often, I would.

    Here's the thing (restated in a different way to emphasize importance). You need to not gossip. I know, it's a thrill, it's juicy, and it's fun to listen to. But if you listen to it, whether you repeat it or not, you are just as guilty as the person that is telling you. If someone starts to gossip to you, turn tail and run. No one likes a gossip. Don't be the stereotypical gay person that gets all involved in the gossip of the workplace. Be better than that. I know, it's hard to not listen, and this is going to take serious effort on your part. But still, don't listen, and under NO circumstances do you repeat it if you do hear something. You have a right to privacy, yes? Well, guess what. So does everyone else. The girls I work with started gossiping about me the day I started. "Oh, he must be gay." "He can't commit to a woman." "He barely passe his CNA class." Just to name a few. Well, guess what? Now, several of the girls I work with obviously know I'm not gay, because they're trying to bed me. These same girls all want a long-term relationship with me. And now they all know that I was the only student in my CNA class to receive above a 95% final grade (98.8%). Gossip is a vicious cycle. Once you start, you can't stop. Let them gossip. Be the better person.
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    Quote from rivershark2005
    For your aide job being your first job, you can suck that one up. Almost everyone loses their first job. I work with a girl that her first job was working as an LPN. She is a good LPN (I knew her at that time) that rarely made a mistake. Still, the first time she made a mistake, she was terminated. Not three days later, she had her second job, the one she has now.
    A little off-topic, but she was fired over ONE mistake in spite of being a good LPN?? That seems excessive, unless it was a very serious mistake that did or easily could have endangered a patient. I mean, although of course you want to be as accurate as possible working in the healthcare field, we're still only human and make mistakes. But then again, I don't know the full circumstances so I don't know. Just stories like this kind of scare me, I worry about getting a job as a CNA and then being fired over the tiniest mishap or nitpick.
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    Quote from TurtleCat

    A little off-topic, but she was fired over ONE mistake in spite of being a good LPN?? That seems excessive, unless it was a very serious mistake that did or easily could have endangered a patient. I mean, although of course you want to be as accurate as possible working in the healthcare field, we're still only human and make mistakes. But then again, I don't know the full circumstances so I don't know. Just stories like this kind of scare me, I worry about getting a job as a CNA and then being fired over the tiniest mishap or nitpick.
    Yeah, one mistake. Problem was, she forgot to give a pain med to a very vocal pt, who was the administrator's grandmother. Things like that tend to go downhill rather quickly.
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    most people dont know Im gay unless they ask or I tell them most the time I dont tell them unless I start to feel uncomfortable about them getting to close or somthing like that, if that makes sense. for that LPN that got a job 3 days after losing her first job well good for her I wish I had her luck a for that aide that you think they keep around because hes good well think again... a lot of aides hate working with him because they csn never find him snd when they do he is out in his car smoking or he is hiding some where not doing a single thing. I hated comming in after him rounds were never done bed pans in the hopper room never done, ok I can understand the bed pans when you put the residents first its whatever Ill do it when I got the time. but its like jees you cant do bed checks and take care of the residents? I myself would only keep people around that wanted to work and who put the residents first and werent tardy or absent all the time. but thats just how I was brought up any way.
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    one thing I realized in being a certified nurse aide. it can be very rewarding but the flip side of it is can be everything totally opposite of what you thought it could be meaning it can be a thankless job. make you feel underpaid, worthless, never good enough, competing for that employee of the month which in reality does not mean a hill of beans and chances are you will never get it. and really what does it mean. and the same person seems to get it. you know the nurse who comes in and works maybe one day out of the week and she got it because she is this miss priss who is good friends with the owner or the DON. oh yes she will call me while I am giving a resident a shower and she expects me to stop a resident from leaving the facility while I am in the middle of giving a shower and the resident is leaving. why there is no reason why she cannot stop her and she get employee of the month.... big deal. I want to vomit....

    oh, and lets not forget I got yelled at because I wore my scrubs because we are caregivers not can. shame on me. you get more residents and they want you to take a 45 min break not a 30 minute break. they messed up my pay for over a month, took them several weeks to put me in the time clock and by the time I left still have no name tag I guess I had to graduate to get one/HAHA.

    more and more residents seem to becoming. oh yes, please do not let me forget a resident's daughter got mad at me because I forgot to put a straw in her ensure, lord forgive me. and the other can/from another country I cannot understand her said you are not allowed to go in mrs. smith's room her daughter asked me if I can take care of her, oh do not take it personally. don't you love those situations. and meanwhile the other girl forget to take her down to dinner and the daughter is screaming at you. you who were told not to go in there and lets no forget the trash is still in her room/and it is still a mess. remember u cannot go in her room the other girl is supposed to take care of her and some how this all falls still on you. lets not forget you put the dirty depends in the garbage bag and you got it from the trash, not to mention someone else left a dirty depend in their and their are no trash bags left in the can and of course no garbage bags left to be found and the morning shift still yells at you, day in day out about the same thing..... nothing ever changes. and the girl in housekeeping who is from some war-torn country in Europe who can barely speak English/and swears yet somehow you can barely make out what she is saying to you every facility is the same. the may be true but you need to find the one that is right for you.
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    Wow, that was some rant. Lol. Welcome to All Nurses
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    Be very, very, very careful with facebook. You are NOT entitled to voice your opinions about your employer on there. Most employers will fire you for that. Even if you say something like "Man, I had the worst day at work!" and it's in your profile where you work, they can fire you because it makes the company look bad. I'm not trying to be negative, just a heads up.

    You don't have to put every job you've had on your application/resume. Just put the good ones. Trust me. When I was younger I had a lot of one month jobs. Just work hard to get another job and do your best. This time of year, you might could get a seasonal job for the holidays or something and a lot of times that leads to something full time. Good luck!
    Hygiene Queen likes this.
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    I have doubts about your issue. You need to drop the "I'm the victim" mentality. Obviously there is some sort of a problem as the reasons you were "let go" are similar. Body language says a lot. Professionalism is lacking. Accept responsibility for your actions and perhaps you need to do some research on customer service and professionalism. Also, your attitude needs work as well.
    Good luck and be well.
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    If you're in an at-will employment state, you can get fired pretty much for any reason and they don't have to tell you. That's how I got terminated from my last job. I asked why and was told, and I quote, "Remember that Wisconsin is an at-will employment state." All I really needed to hear and I didn't press the issue. It stinks, for sure, but you have to accept what part you may have had in it and also that sometimes, crap just happens. Let it go and keep trying.

    Customer service is rough. I have 13 years of experience in it and I'll tell you, other than say, nursing, it's probably one of the best places where someone can yell at you for not necessarily any reason at all. Just smile, keep your head up, and remember that you are the master of your destiny.

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